I’m finding the training extremely stressful. In a way I wished I’d have picked a job with less reputation, pay , but that just makes me feel better. Since starting my self esteem has plummeted. I’ve tried to hide it from boyfriend but my energy has depleted and tonight was the first time I said some bad things about myself to him:(
How long do guys usually put up with this for? It’s hard to stay positive 😭
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Opinion
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Seriously, I was married for 22 years to woman that had all types of self-esteem issues... and it was exhausting honestly. Honestly, these day like not very long... but you are young like I was when I got married to my wife at 20 years old. I mean at first it was like you say, just because of this or that, like school or work.
But it continually persisted from one thing to another for over 20 years and slowly just got consistently worse. It had devasting effects on the marriage, and she refused to admit.
So, I am so happy to see you at your age willing to admit that its an issue, so I say see professional help... because if you are willing to admit to the problem and take proactive measures, I am sure you can manage it and stop it from becoming a bigger problem later on.
I think it's a positive sign honestly that you are aware of it, and can see the impacts and not. deny what it is. So serioulsy, that is a big deal.
Thanks ! Yeah, I deffo understand I have issues. I’m very sorry to hear about what happened with your wife
I hope you don’t think I’m prying but what sort of things did she do that made you exhausted? I want to see if I’m doing those things🤣
Well, she would let the stress and anxiety build then blow up. it started in school with her getting her master's degree and that was stressful... but then she started working and work was stressful...
She would make everyone life a living hell in the house. Like everyone would walk around on pins and needles, because nobody wanted to set mom off.
So it got to the piont she stopped working and wanted to be a stay at home mom. I agreed as long as she would be less stressed. But nope, she would bitch about the laundry, and then how nobody would cook or do the dishes right... and how if everyone would do more then she would be less stressed, it went from happen every few months, to monthly to weekly and in the end almost none stop.
So, she would take her anger and frustration out on everyone around her honestly. She would blame everyone or anything else other than herself for her behavior, and she would refuse to see any type of therapist. At one point me and both my kids where in therapy because she insisted, we were all screwed up somehow. She eventually went to a therapist, fired her, and went through three more therapists... in the course of years.
But my wife had serious childhood trauma, and OCD issues and God knows what else, so there was a lot going on, so you can't really take what my wife did as any indication of what you are going through.
That sounds awful! I think the difference with me is I feel like if I didn’t work I would be much less stressed an anxious
Well in 2023 if woman doesn't work it puts a lot extra stress on a man and family. Not only financially but emotionally. Because it makes everyone financially dependent upon him. So it gives him less flexibility to take career risks, change jobs and etc...
So as much as a woman my want to be a home maker... just remember that your man will seriously rely on you for that since of admiration, affirmation and validation.
He's not going come home and want be dumped on, stressed on or harassed. Because he's doing 100% work for income. So youe 50% comes in the form of doing 100% of work at home. Yes laundry, cooking and cleaning.
My ex expect me to come home and do 50% of all that at home... and wanted act like home keeping and making waa more stressful and harder then working 10 o 12 hour days. And when I did work those hours, sge was pissed that paid someone to mow the lawn on the weekend.
So if want a traditional role, then you have to allow him to be the man.
Depends on the guy. Most men will just bail.