Why does my girlfriend always need to be in "control" of our relationship?

[Anonymous]

've been with my girlfriend 6 months.

While I do like her and care about her, I feel like she always wants to be in "control" of our relationship

For example: A few days ago we talked about eating out at this restaurant we've been wanting to go to.

We live a few blocks from each other - I'm a major metropolitan city -- so we obviously to see each other often.

Usually 3-5 days a week.

So when we were both free last Friday I asked if she wanted to go.

She said the day before she didn't know, then the day of she didn't know...it wasn't until a few hours that she made her decision to go.

She knew she was free all day...why did she have to play games with me.

Whenever she makes plans she always expects me to go, but when I do she is always "I don't know," etc.

I know she wanted to go out to eat and that she wanted to go to this place and even though she was free she still played this game with me. It almost makes me not want to initiate plans with her.

Also, last week I was out to the bar with my friend Joe for happy hour and she was out (at a different bar) with her friend Emily.

She texted me saying "we should meet up." Originally we had no plans to meet up, but I wanted to see her so I said that we should.

But after exchanging a few texts about where to maybe meet up/what to maybe do she just stopped responding.

She was clearly by her phone, so after waiting 20 minutes I finally called her.

I feel like she wanted to just play a game with me by ignoring my text until I reached out to her.

Additionally, last Friday she was out with her girlfriends for a friends birthday.

Around 10 she texted me asking if I wanted to come over and watch a movie with her.

I agreed and same thing -- after exchanging a few texts she just ignored me.

We ended up seeing each other both times -- happy hour and the movie -- but I feel like she does these things to play around with me.

It's like she wants to see me, but likes playing a little game with it.

She'll text or call, then start to ignore me until I "chase" her and give in.

It's a bit annoying.

She's my girlfriend and I still feel like I am playing this chasing game.

We spend a lot of time together and she's never flaked out or cancelled on me, but she tries to set me up like she wants to.

Am I thinking too much about this stuff?

Or is she being a little ridiculous?

I feel like since we see each other so much...that it feels almost strange when I don't spend 3-5 days a week with her.

Since we live so ridiculously close it's extremely easy to see each other.

I'm also afraid that is playing with my mind.

Who knows.

Thoughts?

Thanks!

[bkay_87]

Okay for starters, It's okay to want to see her and second it's also okay for you to say to her once in a while that you would rather do something else or maybe hang out with just your friends.

To be honest... it's really hard to tell what she is thinking. It sounds like she is unstable to me and she doesn't know what the hell she wants. Whenever she plays the not texting back game, do not text her back and do not try to call her. Leave her be and I guarantee she is gonna ask "why haven't you tried calling me yet" or "oh I'm so sorry can you please come meet me".

I think she may be playing a little bit of a teaser game to see how much you are interested in her and the relationship but she is being weird about it and she'll lose you if she keeps this up. Everyone would get annoyed with that lol. If it continues after you trying new tactics, I'd approach her and say that the relationship has become a little confusing and I'd really like to know what's going on. One of the most important things in a relationship is communication and without it...it's rough and you get to a stopping point.

I hope that helps! Good Luck!

[avella]

Are you looking for someone who can relate to you? Your choices are: mention it to her, accept it, or move on. Simple. Asking about it here won't change it there.

[amatuer_zombie]

aarrgghhhhhh...

you are actually destroying the fun part in the relationship

she is enjoying playing HARD TO GET

do you seriously want to spend 3-5 days a week with her?(I mean I don't care if you are madly in love with her or not)but I guess that's the boring part!

give her & your relationship some space...

nobody likes a partner who just wants to hang around the other like a satellite

[Shaun]

"we should meet up"

Response "great, come here" or "I'll be there in a minute" or "why don't you and emily join us?" or "Joe and I will be right over"

"what do you want to do?"

"I don't know what do you want to do?" is childish and a MAJOR turn off.

That's why she stopped responding. She had to before she realized she needs to dump your ass.

[Asker]

that didn't happen at all haha

[dudeman]

just leave her find a girl that lets the guy be the man, can you imagine living with a ball buster it would suck

[toulouse]

or they can both be human beings.. talk to her, if she is not honest, move on. you want honesty and trust, for clarity and a strong foundation..id imagine.