Do men love selfish and manipulative women?

Question

I have been thinking,

I had two female friends. They would often tell me their relationship details

1. First one told me, she would make scenes if her boyfriend didn’t buy her the best things or didn’t give her enough money.

They were in a long distance relationship and the girl didn’t work, the boyfriend paid for everything and then one day he sent her money for her birthday and she called him and told him that he forgot one more zero and is that how he appreciated their relationship?

The guy said he made a mistake and sent her more.

So, she would often tell me, I too, should be like this with my boyfriend and she told me “men need to try hard to keep you. You can’t be that good to them.”

Funny thing is, they are still together and are engaged and for me, even though I thought, being understanding was a key maintain a healthy, happy and sweet relationship- my relationship ended.

2. Second is my Georgian ex friend, I’ve posted questions about her.

She met a guy in March, lied to him about her background, job, education and all, when I asked why, she said “He needs to think, I am the best.”, she then spitted out the morning after pill he gave her after sex and lied to him, she took it. Told him he has the smallest dick out of all the men she has had, but also added that it’s okay, because she still likes him. When I asked why she said that, she also explained that “He needs to know how lucky he is to have me and that I could have anyone else I wanted”, then she willingly tried to get pregnant this way, while hiding from him that she actually wanted to be pregnant. Then when she got pregnant and her visa expired, he married her for visa and now takes her all around the world to travel.

I have a very natural question, is the reason of my relationship’s failure caused by me not being as selfish as these girls?

Now I can’t magically turn myself into a selfish person, because I am not.

I just wonder is that what men are into?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

It comes down to this, and this very true @lafemmefatale_1 Narcissist or people who suffer from BPD, (Borderline Personality Disorders), chose their victims very carefully. For some they do it almost subconsciously, like they do not really do it on purpose, but nonetheless, they do are doing it.

Do men love selfish and manipulative women?

www.kaminiwood.com/7-traits-narcissists-look-for-in-their-victims/#:~:text=Narcissists%20often%20look%20for%20victims,themselves%20as%20imperfect%20or%20unlovable.

So your freinds are seeking out guys that will tolerate this type of behavior, and then use things, like the size of their penis, prey upon their target's low self-esteem. This is because people with low self-esteem, believe on some level they are not good enough for this type of woman, and will work unrealistically a lot harder to keep her then loose her. Because most people with low self-esteem have a large fear of rejection.

Whereas the Narcissist, consciously or subconscious, really believe they deserve what they are receiving from the other person, because they truly believe they are more then worthy of everything... why because the Narcissist really believe they are better than and valued more than the average person.

Here is the real problem, why are they not finding healthy and emotionally mature men to date? Because any self-respecting man would never put with this right?

Reason is this, because no self-respecting man would tolerate this, and this why they choose the victim they have choose. This because women who think using their sexuality as means of empowerment... and they feel empowered when men accept their behaviors as normal, because they truly believe they are worth the effort.

So here is your problem... you want to true love.

They only want someone who will allow them to love themselves above all others, even when it come at such a high cost to the man. And the man will allow it, because he does not truly love himself.

He truly believes he is getting the more then he deserves and the price is worth it. So if you want a man the thinks so little of himself as means of boosting your own ego then this the game you play.

But this how predatorial females victimize week men all the time, and it's never talked about until a strong man victimizes a woman. The woman is the victim, but nobody ever sees or talks about men being victimized, when all know it happens all the time.

msc545 · Accepted Answer

I don't love selfish and manipulative women and I don't know any men. Who do. We have a male member here who apparently is a masochist in this fits right in with his kink. It's not my kink.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm same girl as you and I believe that girls should be good to men and not like those selfish girls and guess what? I lose toxic guys in this process and find the best guys who would absolutely want the girl like me. So as your question, you might lose the red flag guys who doesn't deserve a true and healthy love from you and you will find a more better guy who would help you achieve your best emotional and physical well being. These girls that you have been mentioned about might have cheated on those guys for their selfishness but in the end, they will need to live with guilt in their hearts that they have lied, cheated on them which would be considered as a poor status actions. Best people move with true and healthy intentions and not with devious motives. These girls tried to be with the guys with their selfish motives but they can't expect a true relationship from those guys in a healthy way. Their relationships will be unhealthily moving forward with all negative feelings to the girls and they can't live a satisfied life compared to those that actually gets into a relationship in a healthy way. The people who enter into a relationship in healthy way will enjoy more benefits than these kind of girls, trust me. Those guys who doesn't care about our healthy love are probably red flag guys and expecting true love from them is worst. Even if they do by unhealthy means (such as being lied to of cheated on), when healthy phase arrives, they'll leave. They're attracted to unhealthy love and we can't help them but we need to let them go so that they can end up with unhealthy love that they deserve. The only people who appreciates our true and healthy love are considered as the ultimate and best people that we can ever meet. They needs to be admired and not the ones who gets attracted to unhealthy love.

Unfortunately, some guys doesn't appreciate our true and healthy love and it's not our fault but it's theirs. They will lose us. Let them. Who cares?

They deserve heartless and unhealthy love if they leave us for this reason and let them suffer with their own choices and let's move on with a best guy who appreciates our healthy love and let's grow ourselves into the greatest potential by choosing right guys and not wrong guys

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

The answer is in the question. It’s not that they like these girls, but they’re manipulated into believing that they’re the best they’re ever going to get. In a lot of heterosexual relationships men will “settle” for whatever woman seems best for them at the time, do the whole shebang of getting married, having kids, building a life, and then later on down the line they meet their perfect match, a woman they fall head over heels for, a woman who gives him everything he ever wanted — and he will leave behind the woman he settled for in order to have the perfect woman, regardless of how much the first wife loved or didn’t love him. These men will settle much more often than women because they genuinely believe that if they don’t meet the right milestones at the right time, then they’re not allowed to be considered the same as everyone else in their lives. These women, your “friends” are eliminating that as an option. It sound horribly manipulative, training these men essentially like dogs, preying on their insecurities and fears to give them what they want even against their will, because they’ve made it so these men believe this is all they can have and all they can “settle” for. It’s not that these men like these women for who they are, they like who they pretend to be in private, whether or not that’s really them is up for debate but these women have made if clear their relationship is transactional with these men and because of that these men understand clearly “If I make her mad enough, she’ll leave me and I won’t be able to find anyone else and die alone.”

Men don’t like selfish and manipulative women, they’re just victims of them. Same as I would say of any 14 year old girl that ends up marrying her 18 year old high school sweetheart. Everyone knows those men are toxic and treat their wives like shit, but she genuinely doesn’t believe that she can do better than her first love and he’s cemented that belief by telling her as much with his words and actions.

caring__1 · Answer

Let's say you hate parsley, yet the dish you just ordered has parsley on the plate. Will you return the plate or just eat around the parsley? It is highly unlikely any man would intentionally choose a selfish and manipulative partner.

From a young age, girls get rewarded for being pretty, with both compliments and material goods. Fathers teach their daughters they are princesses, implying they are more entitled than others. In doing so, the fathers create monsters. When these princesses enter the 5th grade, they become mean and nasty to each other, as they now vie to become the queen. Their sense of entitlement has gone to their head, and now they truly believe the world revolves around them.

Most guys are stupid. They choose potential partners based on how she looks more than on the quality of person she might be. They realize pretty girls are often selfish and manipulative, yet they hope for the exception... and overlook the pattern if they don't get the exception. Selfishness and manipulation come with the package and becomes like that parsley you ate around. Never legitimize being selfish and manipulative by claiming guys are drawn to selfish and manipulative women.

Women who don't fit society's image of pretty can also become selfish and manipulative (or controlling). This is often due to resentment they don't get the special attention pretty girls get, leading them to become the bully and just throw their weight around. This in-your-face attitude is promoted in certain groups (ie divas and other groups I won't name). Rather than becoming the best person they can be, they choose to shove their sense of entitlement down your throat.

ohsheeT · Answer

Old men and women are different

All men and women are selfish in their own way

All men and women are givers

All men and women are givers in their own way it depends on the individual not one gender it depends on the type of relationship there's many other factors but when it comes down to sex or to giving I think men are more selfish

CuriousTommy · Answer

Inwas naturally ignoring the question cuz i had no interest but it popped up infront of me for the 3rd time and decided to read why you said lmao😭. I'll simplify something from the beginning...

THEY ARE TOXIC GIRLS. as simple as that.

Lets start with ur first friend (not ex friend), she is in a relationship with a simp pretty much. Or a suger daddy 😭. He likes her and she likes his money. She would cheat on him in the future and you shouldn't be shocked when that happens. I don't know how that worked either but how i see it is, he is too In lovely with her to find out that she is using him. ORRRR she actually shoes love and appreciation to him in secret but makes fun of him when he isn't there? Sounds too toxic for me ig. Anyways. I don't know how they are doing good tbh😭, but it probably won't end well. If she doesn't grow love for him the relationship is gonna go down hill.

2nd girl is even worse. She lies and deceives people. Also the thing about "he needs to think I'm the best" is kinda true? But not? Because you should STRIVE to be the best you can be. Not act it, or lie as if its the truth, she is farrrr from good or perfect. She is extremely manipulative too? The guys you are telling us about are very dumb tbh. Inexperience in life probably. They can do a lot better, she invalidates him and gaslights him then tells him the one thing he wants to hear "you're a terrible ugly person but i like you with your 100 flaws😊😊" she didn't say that but its kinda like that. Makes him feel bad but accepted by her. So now he'll think that he has flaws and ONLY her accepts him, which makes him like her more. Manipulation. At its purest form. From the beginning she wanted to get a citizenship. She didn't love him. She is using him. She doesn't care shit about him.

So no, don't be like them lmao. TRUST me. We hate these kind of women. We need a woman to support and appreciates us and our hard work. Doesn't gaslight and isn't gives us words of affirmation. Do small things that matter. Make him a cup of coffeine in the morning. Be wifey material for him to see ypu as a future wife. When you have a problem together, discuss it, don't fight, communication is truly KEYYY!!! it's not just a saying. Also admitting when you're wrong, as hard as that is, is the best thing tbh.

So my advice for you, few of them:

1. When you talk to a guy, don't fuck him for 3 to 4 months (preferably all sexual stuff outside the table but that's up to you). You're not looking for a friend's with benefits, Or a night stands, you're looking for a potential husband. 2. Be modest cuz guys don't look at half naked girls as wifey, they look at them at sex toys, yes i said it out loud, sue me. When he feels insecure or jealous, its actually VERY cute, he feels jealous cuz he wants you all to himself!! So validate his feelings. Don't brush em off. Say "you have nothing to worry about babyyy, is this the guy that bothering you? Here, i blocked him, see? Idc about no one elae, you're the only man i need. Dont Ever think I'll exchange you for anyone else, you're mine and I'm yours." as simple as that. It's too cute. Too wifey material lmao. 3. The kitchen duties aren't your job exactly, but its so cool when a girl can cook and clean and deal with small problems on her own and doesn't need help. A reliable lady. With skills and hobbies.

So yeah, hope that helped! Find yourself a guy that is communicative, loyal, possessive, likes cute things like babies and animals, and finally has been goals and ambitions and hobbies and skills.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

You're too smart to ask this type of question. The real question you should ask yourself is

Do I want to be the type of woman that manipulates men into getting everything I want?

It's insulting for you to even ask if men are into this like it's a universal thing we all like. No not all men and most men do not want to be treated like this. Unfortunately some people men and women are easier to manipulate and in different ways. Those poor men don't want to be manipulated most likely. Maybe they're shy and not confident enough to understand they shouldn't be treated that way. We're not universal in thoughts and feelings. We want to be loved like anyone else. Men or women that allow themselves to be treated like this are more likely lacking self esteem.

A man you should want to be with would stick up for himself and not allow himself to be in a relationship that's as abusive as you describe. These women are abusing these men.

These two examples of women you described are terrible people and this has nothing to do with your failed relationships. I've been around women like them before and I don't associate or give them an ounce of my time.

Regarding your update about your pretty friends. You don't know what they're truly like in a relationship with a man. Also, reminding you again, looks aren't everything.

I'm kind of shocked you even have to ask this question. If you want to understand your failed relationships better and what men really want have a real dialogue you need to be able to take personal responsibility for things, while still being fair to yourself, and talk to men and have a real conversation about this.

Another thing to think about is why you're worried about these two friends. Are you secretly jealous that they're crappy behavior is being rewarded by two insecure men? Do you secretly want to do this too and get a man to do your bidding? You've made reference to how men would do anything for your Mom and fall for her immediately like she had a power over them which you seem to envy based on past posts. I can't sit here and say I think you want an easy life where you're looks will make anyone else do things for you but you imply this throughout your posts. If you put it all together this is a reasonable observation one could make.

That said, I can't tell you who you are and if this is you. These observations are mine based on your posts and I might be totally wrong but this is just what I'm noticing.

It's why I have suggested you to see a therapist. I think you have some deep stuff you're struggling with and even though I don't know you, I wish for you to be happy and live a full and satisfying life.

dynamicyandere · Answer

Those manipulative women would have been a huge red flag to me with how manipulative they are.

Immediate disqualification.

The only men that would stay in such relationships are men that do not have any self-respect for themselves.

If manipulation is required to make a man ‘love’ you, it’s not real love. It’s just a result of you pulling strings.

Just like a player can manipulate a girl into staying with him—it doesn’t mean she truly loves him if it’s just him pulling strings and controlling her mind and emotions.

Selfish and manipulative women attract certain types of men.

Just like selfish and manipulative men attract certain types of women.

Sometimes men or women tolerate toxicity because they have little to no self respect and they came from dysfunctional homes and the toxicity is oddly familiar to them so they are drawn to it and do not know why.

But a healthy relationship is one where both people love and care for each other and are bound together by their love for each other—rather than bound together by fear and insecurity.

aRandomTeenGuy · Answer

I did already say this in a reply, but thought I might have better chances of getting advice if I just submitted it, so, here it is:

You know, this was really helpful (this first sentence was for replying). My mom told me that men get victimized all the time, from prison rape (please excuse my not-so-necessary referral, I’m only a Sophomore) to being taken advantage of emotionally. I really do believe that women victims are paid much more attention. (I think this goes hand in hand with LGBTQ and “finding your identity” as it all seems like one huge feminine push). I’m not a Bible beater or anything like that, you know, publicly announcing my gratituity for His blessings or what not, but I do have a firm belief in Him, and that there is no need to “find” your identity, as you’re given one when born, and all you should do is develop it, and work to improve little quirks instead of altering it altogether. I guess what I’m getting at is that although yes, women often face much harder trials then men, such as childbirth and presenting themselves as stunning as possible (bunny trail: did you know in nature that the MALES have to look their best and the females hardly change anything?) i don’t believe it should be about making men feel guilty for what they are, because I’ve seen (mostly from “opposite” sex women) some women make guys feel like disgusting perverted lustful creeps, even decently mannered ones, and sometimes (this doesn’t mean this is the case all the time, I mean SOMETIMES) it makes my blood boil that women who behave like that present messages such as “hate has no home here”.

Rei13 · Answer

There are men out there that will appreciate you for who you are and it will be a much healthier relationship than what they are in. The second girl definitely trapped him in the relationship. There are both men and women who will go for selfish partners because they do not think that they’ll be able to do better. I think the best thing to do is evaluate your last relationship to see where it went wrong. The things you did and the things he did, then take that information and use it to grow so that when you find your forever person you’re in a much better spot

Ezra_lila · Answer

There is nothing wrong with your attitude and nature when it comes to relationship. Relationship is something we look up and wanted it to be last forever but as you can see we can't say they just got lucky that despite of having these attitude they end up having fruitful relationship towards their partner.

See it like this, man will never stay no matter how kind, selfless, having kid with you, attractive you are and so on. Man will stay committed in a relationship if they choose too.

I guess thats how relationship are now, good one are left behind. We are good items and expensive so that's how it is.

Lliam · Answer

Nope. The more a woman adores me, the more I adore her.

The minute a mere girlfriend asked me for money or free stuff, or treated me with disrespect, I would drop her like a hot potato. Then again, I was always a pretty good judge of character and chose honest girlfriends. They were all good people.

The girls you described give women a bad name. They are nothing but cold blooded prostitutes. They deserve to live in misery and I suspect that one day they will reap their just desserts.

Could you live with yourself if you sold your soul, abandoned your good nature and ethics?

Grond21 · Answer

This is anecdotal evidence. It does NOT speak to healthy relating in the slightest.

Men with a lot of wealth will sometimes give a beautiful woman a lot of money, thinking that he can buy her loyalty. But all he buys is an expensive prostitute. If a man wants a truly loyal woman, he needs to invest his time and energy into her. That's how good women operate.

Those two women you have described are harridans. Sirens. A cancer on their relationships and the kind of manipulative evil women that destroy everything good around them for the sake of their own selfish arrogant egos.

lightbulb27 · Answer

You should find some new friends and id wonder why you have these two as fiends…intentional misspelling. I know screwed up guys i wouldn't be friends with.

It may he you were too understanding w your boyfriend, i dont have that history. When someone has values they stand and fight for its attractive.

Your friends are gross and id be disgusted w them. It depends on the guy and how dunce he is.

Attraction is sub conscious familiarity. So you have to do your own triage on what happened and why and improve. Not change into a demon.
Dave jord got it right!

ShadezMcgee · Answer

It comes down to self esteem issues. Guys with a straight head and boundaries have the confidence to not only call out women like this with their bullshit, but they have the balls to walk away and never look back because they know they cam do better than those women.

There is NOTHING good about selfish and manipulative women. Period. That is the reason a lot of women, namely those you see on social media are growing because this is the shit being pushed. It won't be until they are old, grey and miserable that they truly get comeuppance because there will always be low self esteemed men to only enable the behavior and women like that pushing that as a hive minded collective.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i'm not in the position that those guys are in so i'll just tell you what i think. if you have a lot of money then you can put up with a lot of crap. should you? not in my opinion. guys who take this abuse from pretty girls that want to be worshipped are going to get cheated on repeatedly. and those guys, the guys she really wants get all the good stuff from her for free

anon1903 · Answer

Does anyone love getting manipulated? The direct answer is no.

But I'd tell you something more. I've a friend on twitter. They're non-binary. They were best friends with popular of the Twitter community and due to some conflicts, a girl told them to k! ll themselves. And made others block them.

This friend of mine still didn't block them. They tried to ask for help and even call the cops, but they say they've never blocked anyone in their whole life.

I was both amused and hateful of this outrageous declaration.

But then I came to know — some people are just wired that way. They're very emphatic. They forgive easily. And they're reluctant to ask for boundaries or punish others for breaking them.

That's probably true for these men you've mentioned.

Andres77 · Answer

I was one of these poor saps.

1. These women need a dose of reality. Pain and misery.

2. These guys are broken and accept this kind of treatment because their dad did not raise them right.

I don’t like andrew tate, but his “in your face” message resonated with younger men because these men didn’t have good fathers to teach them.

these two guys also need to get slapped and taught how to be a man. Not to be mean and disrespectful but to value themselves and not tolerate this kind of bs.

EmyyWolf · Answer

If a man is investing money. The female is not sexually attracted to him.

END OF STORY.
OBVIOUSLY THAT WOMAN IS NOT GIVING HIM ANY SORT OF SEX.
That’s why there’s a power dynamic. If she wanted to fuck him, it would be completely different.

Materialistic Plastic women seek these type of relationships. Usually they pick some mediocre, average, simpleton that is able to fill her expensive demands. 😂

Lionman95 · Answer

No it´s just that those kind of women are often more self confident, demanding and straight forward than the lovely girl most guys want. Guys don´t love selfish and manipulative women but they are often the women that guys fall for because their outgoing behavior attracts guys.

Since many guys don´t know how to date they go with the manipulative woman that tells them what to do and expect.

ShadowYamihiro · Answer

Hell no, those are toxic people and i simply refuse to deal with t hem, when they start acting and treating me and others as human beings then we can talk and b e friends, but as long as they are toxic its a goodbye from me, have better things to do in my life then have someone else make it more miserable

tzdc21 · Answer

No we don't. And those two men you described do not have any spines or self respect, or are unaware of how manipulative women, or people in general, can be. If I was dating a girl and she did ANY of those things, she's getting dumped, no doubt about it.

justabuddy · Answer

Here is my metaphor. The squeaky wheel gets the grease until it squeaks too much. Than the squeeky wheel gets replaced with a non squeeky one.

The first too many seem like they have it better than your other friends. But your other friends can stand in their own two feet without needing men, so they choose a happy healthy relationship. More than likely they will be the non squeeky replacement. I don't think it has anything to do with gender, mostly choices.

Do men love selfish and manipulative women?

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