Why do some men date women that are obviously manipulative?

[RainbowQueen1]

I have a friend/coworker that jumped quickly into a relationship with a woman overseas. He's visited her 3x over a little over a year.

She constantly asks him for money as if she's owed it for any type of holiday and she unfollows him repeatedly until she gets what she wants. It's like he begs for her to come back even though he barely knows her, and she's obviously manipulative.

This guy gave me relationship advice on not letting anyone manipulate or treat me like crap. He even guided me on how to ensure that would never happen again. He's also very mature and kind and it doesn't seem like something he'd let happen.

But it's something he's clearly allowing so I'm confused why some men date obviously manipulative women.

This woman has even made jokes that she'll date any white man that will get her into the states.

Im not trying to be the friend that gets involved, just trying to understand.

[Lynx122]

I think there are a few reasons.

1. Men just get a lot less affection so some guys are just starved and will do anything to feel like they're worthy to get some validation that they're a man that would be desirable to a woman. This mostly happens to younger guys because some have never experienced a woman liking them at all so they'll do with whatever scraps they can get but it seems like there's also a lot of desperate guys who are older. Some men never manage to become attractive enough to experience a relationship where they have more of the leverage so they're always stuck in this mindset.

2. This woman has something that the usual woman he could be with doesn't have she's better she makes him feel special in some way and he wants to believe so badly that she really likes him because of what that would say about him he's addicted to the image of himself as her partner so he wants to hang on to that.

3. Billlewis seems to love getting used and humiliated but I think he's part of a small minority.

Usually it's just some kind of unfulfilled desire some weakness in the defenses and if the right person with bad intentions comes along they get their hooks in and it can get ugly.

[blueonblack22]

Billewis is weird. Very weird.

[Lynx122]

@blueonblack22 YEP XD

[82lynx]

@blueonblack22 I think he was the one who sent me a PM just to tell me that he downvoted one of my opinions. I still don’t know which one he was referring to or why he did it. The message didn’t make much sense.

[blueonblack22]

@82lynx consider the source. Once you do any bizarre action from that guy isn’t a surprise.

Truth is I feel sorry for him. I think he has some sort of mental condition and was treated beyond horrible for the better part of his life. He’s older too and the older generation were much more judgmental of weird (yet harmless) people.

Deep down he wants to be respected by a woman. But he feels it’s some sort of bizarre reverse psychology trick to go around saying the opposite.

[robhazelnut]

As far as I can tell, it would never be by choice. It's often tricky to distinguish being kind and being parasitized. Men who have empathy want to be powerfully beneficial. As the old saying goes, discretion is the better part of valor, and toxic people, by necessity, have a lot of practice in hiding their intentions.

[Viola_456]

Actually i was in this kind of relationship but as a manipulator. (Never asked for money but i was rude, agressive and didn't talk to him until he apologised becouse of really small things). Im not proud of it i think i learned my lesson i can't be like that... I think he didn't leave me becouse of more reasons.

-he blindly thought he can change me, even though he coudnt
-he was really in love so he didn't want to accept im not perfect for him
-he seen me like his "trophy" and didn't want to lose me becouse i was his first relationship so he didn't want to be alone again. Overall he was kinda lonely so he didn't want to lose as a person
-he was afraid what im gonna do to him

Last one is definetly not ussual and its a bit more complicated to explain fully😅. But first three reasons might be most common in these cases in my opinion.

[Decoded93]

It’s good you matured from this, this is more common than you’d think though!

[shoeboxcerealcard]

@Decoded93 It's very common in your late teens and early 20s. It's rather unfortunate because often people carry around that trauma for years and years.

[Decoded93]

@shoeboxcerealcard yeah I definitely was on the receiving end of that when I was a young guy!! But at the same time it's kinda exciting

[Hammertimeguy]

@shoeboxcerealcard I smell a troll!

[Hammertimeguy]

@Decoded93 shoeboxcerealcard is a TROLL!

Don't feed the trolls.

[shoeboxcerealcard]

Same reason most people don't ever live the kind of life they want. Ignorance. When you understand you can see the cliff from miles away.

2 people are creating everything that is going to happen in that relationship.
Watch both people and you'll know exactly what's gonna happen.
C students don't magically end up with A's.

Men date manipulative women because they are ignorant and once they wisen up they stop doing it. Sadly by that point they have trauma and probably have somewhat turned into a manipulative person themselves.

[Hammertimeguy]

I smell a troll

[coachTanthony]

Most of these men I would assume don't have many options so they gloss over that and a lot of other crap.

[worldscolide]

Im going to tell you something that you're not going to want to hear... A Lot of women are very manipulative, and it can be very hard to tell she is manipulating you when there is attraction and feeling involved. I should know, i spent two years with a woman who was a manipulative narcissist, who was both physically and mentally abusive. She didn't start out like that, It was very subtle, she started slowly, until she moved in with me and ramped it up. By the time i removed her from my life, she had me convinced that i was not worth anyone better than her and that i would be alone forever if i kicked her out.

It sucks but its true.

[82lynx]

@worldscolide Yeah, they can’t do a lot of physical damage so they inflict psychological damage instead. To make matters worse, they’re rarely held accountable for their wrongdoings. Those types are cowardly, subhuman scum in my opinion.

[worldscolide]

@82lynx Agreed Mine chose to slice my face up when i kicked her out.. When i called the police, they threatened to arrest me because "we dont charge women with domestic violence, you must have done something to deserve it"

[82lynx]

You deserved assault with a deadly weapon? What kind of medieval “justice” system is that? I wouldn’t put it past any dame that flips the crazy switch to pick up the nearest knife, but somehow I’m still surprised. Somehow that reminds me of when I was visiting a family member in a psychiatric ward; there was one young woman who seemed to be there indefinitely, and I saw her punch a much taller male nurse in the chest. Moments later, two guards grabbed her arms and took her down to their version of solitary.

[worldscolide]

@82lynx Its the Duluth model for domestic violence. Look it up some time. It instructs police to arrest the male regardless of if he is the aggressor or victim.

[whistlingwh0res]

you should watch 90 days finance. There are bunch of foreign girls who ask money to America boys. Some look like stripper on line and some sugar baby. I guess men have money to spend. I don't think they will spend all of his money. at first I didn't understand how stupid they are but then it's just nothing.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

dont be surprised if your friend's mother was a manipulative bitch as well. its so common for men to be raise by these types of women nowadays that they somehow adapt to this behavior till the point they see it as the norm in other women

[RainbowQueen1]

Actually he did say he didn't like his mom much.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

Not surprised

[jshm2]

Because it's not "obvious" to them. In fact he is probably finding as much fault with your relationships, as you are in his.

But guys will do for good pussy, what girls will do for good dick. So don't stress on him too much.

[normalice]

Because the thing women usually manipulate men with is sex. And sex is the reason we do all the other things anyway, so..

[Billlewis]

Because we want to be in a relationship with a woman who knows how to keep us in line.

[RainbowQueen1]

What the heck. Lol

[Billlewis]

Seriously.

[DextroShade]

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and have few options.

[genericname85]

probably cause they're hot. are you aware of the hot/crazy scale? according to that scale, men accept more craziness the more hot she is.

[sheikalana]

Maybe they don't have other options or are addicted to the toxicity.

[Anonymous]

Because they're desperate, weak and/or stupid...

[SolitarySolace]

Might be easy for other women to tell if they’re manipulative but men can’t until it’s too late.

[Anonymous]

You’d be surprised how wonderful black magic works. Where is she from by the way?

[Hammertimeguy]

Hey don't believe shoe box figured is a troll.

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of guys go into a daze when girls give them attention and are blind to all flaws.

[OddBeMe]

Some people are meek and need dominant spouses.

[nawtee_me]

Aren’t we all manipulative in one way or another? Don’t we all want what we want and try to get it? Yes, some more than others

[Chelsdope0]

Because men are stupid lol

[jahaims]

Desperation or trauma

[RainbowQueen1]

Those are both sad reasons. Thanks for the answer.

[jahaims]

It's also common for undiagnosed males with autism to be taken advantage of in this way.

[Yannae]

Blinded. "I CAN FIX HER"

[RainbowQueen1]

Eesh. That's not good. Thanks for the answer.

[Yannae]

It's very bad :(

[82lynx]

@Yannae I know from experience that trying to fix what is particularly badly roached—usually objects—is an exercise in futility no matter how much I want to see such objects working properly again. Often times it feels better to just show them the door, sub-human or otherwise.