Do opposites attract in relationships?

Question

There's an old saying, opposites attract.

Do you tend to be attracted to people that are your complete opposite or do you sway towards people who have similar likes/dislikes?

Are you currently with someone you have lots in common or very little in common?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Often, yes, BUT only certain, compatible opposites can be SUSTAINED in a relationship. Obviously that doesn't matter if it's just a hookup.

Some examples that work long-term:

A dominant and a submissive
A tall and a short
A masculine and a feminine
Higher income and lower income
More outgoing and less outgoing

What tends to NOT work long-term is when 2 people have vastly different morals, values, or life goals. If one person always wants to go out and the other is a homebody, that won't work. If someone is responsible with money and the other isn't, that won't work. If someone is moral and the other is amoral (cheating, criminal, fraud, etc.), that won't work. If someone wants to live in a big city and the other wants to live in a rural area, that won't work. If someone wants to be married and have 5 kids and the other wants to just cohabitate and remain childless, that won't work.

TipsyFr · Accepted Answer

Depends what you consider opposites. Same core values but different personality. I always like women who are more creative and artsy. I am neither, anything I would do or build would be a reproduction of something I’ve seen I think logically pros and cons etc.. I like someone who thinks more with her emotions. It would be boring if she was too similar, not much for me to show her and vice versa

Noether · Accepted Answer

You want to be either similar or different but complementary in terms of values, preferences, interests and personality, and a few common experiences are also healthful, though you don’t have to be the same in every way.

Differences are fine, but you don’t want to be diametrically opposed. If for example one likes to listen to hard rock and doesn’t mind noise most of the time whether or not they play and the other loves playing music, they complement each other, but if one loves playing hard rock and the other finds it irritating, this may lead to conflict if they don’t find some way of working around these opposing preferences so that they will remain tolerable.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

I've always liked people completely opposite of myself and I love it because we can teach and show each other lots of new things so it's never boring. I don't think I'd like being with someone similar that'd be annoying.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My fiancée is from China and there are enormous differences between us. The girl I dated 2015-2017 was much more similar to me in terms of our history, education, and interests.

AviatorTom · Answer

Men have cylinders and women have holes. One fits nicely in the other.

Sonorous · Answer

Humans are generally attracted to people they're more similar to. Also you often see that people have more empathy & tolerance for those more similar to them. Which are both very helpful to have if you want a healthy relationship with anybody.

BigRed1987 · Answer

So I don’t think anything is quite that black and white, but if you think about it with a common sense approach, if you and a partner are opposites, then what will you two do together?
One likes going out, the other doesn’t, one likes fitness, the other doesn’t. One watches movies, other doesn’t. Sex for one and the other isn’t a fan.

You see where I’m going with this…though I get it, it’s not that opposites don’t have anything in common right? Well then how are they opposites? They’re just a normal couple that disagree on things.

I hope that makes sense

luvstoned4him · Answer

Like not really. I rather someone has similar things to me like values for one. We can't anywhere together without sharing those. However, I don't mind if they have different hobbies or for instance skills because those are things which they can bring or add to the relationship

Zatsuma · Answer

I've finally got to the point that I will not go near an opposite anymore. Took me 30 odd years to figure that out as somehow I'm always attracted to them but it ends up a mess due to conflictions of interest. So there is no point in wasting anymore of my or their time, as I don't have much left to give anyway.

Anonymous · Answer

Opposites do NOT  EVER  attract.  You have to understand what opposite means when we are talking about this subject.  A male and female are not opposites. They are in harmony IF they are straight. You have to be in harmony with a person on a subconscious level to a great degree.  People who are not do not mix well. It's not about interest and surface stuff like that.

rosemilk · Answer

yes. where one lacks, the other one makes up for. it also helps get people out of comfort zones and see things in a different way. people who are too similar are boring. but people who are too opposite can be bad too. it's best to have a mix.

thegreenyogi · Answer

I think it really depends on the situation. I tend to look for traits that are similar to my own in the way of personality but physically sometimes I have been attracted to my exact opposite.

slatyb · Answer

In some ways, but fundamentally no. People seem their equals in intellect, ambition, emotional maturity, and fitness. They may be attracted to people who are from themselves in other ways. .

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

I like the fact that i am not completely the same with the people i surround myself with because i love getting to know other people's views on the same things

Nikki1989 · Answer

Opposite in some ways can be good, but too much, and you will end up clashing on too many levels.

Starrrboy · Answer

I attract a lot of opposites... sometimes I find it hot and exciting.. but then clarity hits and I think the magic would be gone after a while and you'll just find them different , annoying different lol

Guido · Answer

For lo g term, I don't think total opposites but not exactly the same either. A mixed balance is good. You need to have some similarities such as how many kids you want, where in the country you want to live, for some religion is a key factor and you need to have some things that you like doing together as well.

Other things can be opposite and add to the relationship by bringing different things to the other person.

devilish-cutie · Answer

opposites attract but not complete opposites, there should be some level of differnece, usually in personality, but there should also be big similarities in values

Anonymous · Answer

Similarity is more important (even friends are more then often like us). Opposites can be arguing more often, but you need a little of both in a relationship to make it fun and interesting

prakhindev92 · Answer

This is purely random , because both ways works , also both ways doesn't work , it is according to a single person as of their like to be with their partner as whom he/she should be like

BBFDancer · Answer

I think it's a mixture for me. When it comes to Values like politicians. She needs to have the same values. We should have the same standards as well.  The same hobbies and different hobbies.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I prefer likeminded women. Opposite minded ones are annoying.

ItsMykolaJenkins · Answer

100% yes Me and my boyfriend are toral opposites We do share some basic core life values and life views but we are very different i actually rejected him for 2 years

PatientZeR0 · Answer

I think opposites arouse, but I don’t think opposites attract long term loving relationships.

loveslongnails · Answer

A certain amount of opposites attract, I believe, so long as they're not core things.

Anonymous · Answer

There really isn't much to be gained by being around people who are the same as me.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

I don’t think it matters since you end up going to orgy together.. they will sleep with same and opposite gals and boyz

RingOfFire · Answer

Do opposites attract? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It often depends on what specific ways they are opposite.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Not complete opposites, but in general; yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Physically yes, otherwise I don't think so. I'm 6'3" and I have always been most attracted to short women, like 5'2". And they seem to feel the same.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes most of the time they do me and my boyfriend are opposites and we are together and both so happy together to

Anonymous · Answer

No that's bullshit. Opposites don't attract. Complementary people attract us. I. e. a penis wants a vagina and vice versa. But people are clearly more attracted to people similar to themselves.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Is that why like attracts like?

Charliefretz329 · Answer

I guess so cause I’ve picked terrible mates…

prosmind · Answer

Like minded persons are always preferred.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I honestly don't know but that what people say

Texasgal95 · Answer

Yes for sure

Christoff92 · Answer

Sure why not.

zagor · Answer

Neither.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Mostly no

Do opposites attract in relationships?

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