Do you think as we get older life changes us and we learn from our mistakes?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

For example, today I feel a little bit wiser than 2 weeks. I wonder if that’s because a lot changed for me lately and I learned a thing or two?

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, I haven't found this to be true. As people get older, they tend to get more set in their ways and less flexible. I see too many people maintaining patterns they admit are dysfunctional... just because they are familiar habits. As people age, they tend to spend more time and energy legitimizing dysfunctional patterns rather than changing them.

When we're young and haven't discovered who we are or what works or doesn't for us, we tend to be more open to new alternatives. Once our preferences are established, we're more likely to stick to our preferences.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I noticed my preferences always lead me to failure.

[caring__1]

Take a look at those preferences and ask yourself how important they are. For instance, we tend to be comfortable within a range, but does that mean we need to limit ourselves to either side of that range? For instance, I've always been drawn to small-built women, yet I've discovered that most small-built women feel inadequate, as society tends to promote Barbie Dolls. It's miserable to be with people who don't see value in what they bring to the relationship, so now I'm more likely to choose someone who is on the other side of my comfort range... but that doesn't mean I'll find myself attracted to society's ideal.

If you find your preferences complicate your life, you have the option to somewhat alter those preferences. It's like tuning in a radio so the sound is clearest with least static. Only you can determine what works for you. If your life has always included alcohol or drugs, yet you acknowledge alcohol or drugs have never added any long-term positive change to your life, what would be your reasons for holding onto that pattern... other than just insisting you're entitled.

Make subtle changes, not extreme ones. You don't need to exclude all humans and choose to marry your dog.

[Sweetsurprize]

@caring__1 I think people can change but there HAS to be a good reason for them to want to. Maybe if they get diagnosed with terminal lung cancer from smoking too much or cirrhosis of liver because of drinking too much, THAT is when they will change, but by then , it MAY be too late, depending on the severity of the damaged organ.

Other people that you are referring to are just stubborn in their ways and their loved ones and friends have either ENABLED them into sticking by their wrong behavior, or yeah, too stubborn to care about anyone else but themselves. Not good.

[caring__1]

@Sweetsurprize As you say, long-term change is primarily self motivated, not something we do for others, and it often occurs after the damage has already been done. Enabling is another dysfunctional pattern that is all too common.

Are we capable of change? Yes we are. Is change likely as we age? Not really. Always choose a partner based on who that person is now, with awareness of how they've handled disappointment, frustration and hurt in the past. Never choose a partner based on what you believe is that person's potential.

Preferences are unlikely to significantly change over time. If someone isn't attracted to you, never assume you can convince them to be attracted to you. I don't like highly spiced foods, and I'm unlikely to change my mind on that, just because I might be seeing someone who likes highly spiced foods.

[AviatorTom]

Yes. To mature means more than "get older".

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I hope I will really mature and won’t be that childish anymore.

[electromagnetic]

Nope. We don’t learn from those mistake. We learn if they were worth the time and effort to do it again.
I’ll give you an example: i know if I leave my house at the usual time, and make it to work exactly on the dot, Ill be safe. But I also know if I leave my house on time and stop off at the coffee shop along the way, I’m gonna be late and probably missed a bit of the morning meeting. Is it gonna stop me from going to get coffee? Probably not. It’s also not going to encourage me to leave my house 5 minutes earlier either.

[provokeesmokee]

For most people, absolutely.

However, there's a not insignificant portion of people who seem... Very unwilling or in some cases unable to learn from their mistakes.

But generally, the more we live and experience, the more learned lessons and observations we can reference to guide us through rough situations.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes. Eventually, you will feel older and wiser.

[scentoflavender]

You'll learn that you know nothing. At 16 I was an idiot. The. I hit 18 and went ok I got this now. At 21 I looked at 18 and went god I was an idiot. At 25 I looked at 21 and went god I was idiot. It's co to ued on and on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep, looking back I was an idiot even month ago.

[ManOnFire]

It's supposed to be that way. But I am surprised to know there are people older than myself who still don't seem to learn from their mistakes. I am the kind of person that does learn, and I grow and change. Who I am now is different from who I was 3 years ago, and 3 years before that. I value change and learning things from experience.

[RingOfFire]

Yes, but the problem is that the wisdom you gain has a diminishing return since the time you have left to capitalize on it gets shorter and shorter. As the plaque my grandparents had hanging in their basement said:

"Too soon old and too late schmart."

[Guido]

Everything we do in life makes us who we are. We become the sum of our life's experiences. We learn and evolve from both the good and the bad we encounter along our journey. Sometimes we are given huge challenges to overcome and other times great joy.

With age comes wisdom but I can attest to the fact that the wisdom did not come easy at times.

May you age gracefully and enter a stage in your life that brings you joy and happiness.

[Ozanne]

Some things, yes. Some things, no. I think we are wired to be a certain way and it is quite hard to change how we react to things in the world. But things happen in life, and we accrue experiences and memories that we can recall and do our best to learn from or at least help others with what we've gone through.

[mandyfire98]

It depends on how open minded you are and if people can truly self reflect and learn from their mistakes or not. Some people just plow right through life never learning or growing.

[Meropatrick]

People dont change. Keep that in ur mind and it will save u a lot of heartache. People never change. I knew people when i was a child they were little Bullies then and now they r older horrible Bullies. People just become better with time at what they r. Get bad people out of ur life as early as u can it will just get worse

[love_conquers_lust]

If you seek wisdom, then it's a requirement. There is a balance between mutable and conversation. Fluidity and crystallinity. I believe that balance is called adaptability, versatility. Vague, but there is no set formula as far as I know, only guidelines based on the wisdom of others. That's kind of what closes the loop as we edge towards progress.

[Anonymous]

You do learn, and you have time to reflect and see folly in others. Your perspective changes also. What was vitally important when young seems frivolous when older.

However, some it seems, are destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Perhaps it's just part of who they are. Everyone has limits, right?

[Nifrayu]

Yes of course. Although some people never seen to learn.

[lightbulb27]

yes we learn, when we are open to learning. I find genearlly speaking, mistakes are repeated until we find what is controlling us to think the way we do... which is often damaged emotions.

[BadApple69]

As you get older you do get wiser…. That just means you don’t make the same old mistake twice…. You make brand new mistakes. mistakes is how we learn and grow.

[Mangospacho]

Some people learn and get smarter and some people refuse to learn and get dumber.

[Grond21]

That is always the hope. But life makes no guarantees

[Nikki1989]

Ideally, you should never stop learning.

[JackCarter]

Not sure whether everyone has the learning mentality to accept and learn from their mistakes.. if we have, then I believe we get better day by day!

[BoopBoopBeep]

I certainly hope so...

[SeaStorm1]

Not always true. I just see more immature men that are some older then I see more young men some can be mature. Older people can be stubborn and be stuck in there own ways like my mum is with me comes to dating.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, this is me exactly and how I conduct myself from being age 21 and battling mental health illnesses.

[artgorgeous]

Can't tell for other people, but I do change with age and learn from my mistakes.

[sheenagwapa]

i learned people do not appreciate good pips instead they abuse

[eagle1951]

i learn every day from my mistakes and from just being alive

[ProbablyClueless]

Some people learn and grow with time, but most do not

[FunkyMonkee]

Most of us do, and then, there's the democrats!

[zagor]

Unfortunately I still go off the rails once in a while and do something remarkably stupid and self-destructive.

[Sasha0426]

I think so. Sadly, not everyone will learn anything.

[Sparkie460]

There are no mistakes in life. They are lessons. If you learned from the lesson, you become wiser.

[Charliefretz329]

That’s the goal at least. What doesn’t kill is should make us at least smarter if not stronger

[KrakenAttackin]

If we have any sense we do. This is called wisdom.

[exitseven]

We are a product of our experiences.

[justabuddy]

Yes, I have also learned up put up with less and less crap as I get older.

[RichardStephan]

As we get older, life makes us experience emotional drama.

[Andres77]

Maturing process.

[Phoenix98]

Some people learn and some people never do.

[Alex-Snow]

I hope so cause I have made plenty of mistakes

[Christoff92]

Yes off course.

[bradley142]

i would like to think we do

[Cheerfull009]

Yes, you are correct

[MaxUsefull]

Yes, I think so

[sheikalana]

Absolutely.

[Lokiion]

Yeah

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[In_Trance]

No not always