If you are a man, do you agree, "Do not marry a woman if you are not her first choice?

Question

Most women end up with the relationship they want but not with the man they would prefer
and this is what leads to a lot of low-grade marital dysfunction as Chris Rock put it the number one reason why your woman's always mad is because you ain't her first choice.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Most men are NO woman's first choice.

So no, if you're the beta male provider that is your role.

She had the rampaging, naughty, dirty nasty sloppy sex with the men she really wants. She did the drugs and the parties and had the gang bangs and had her darkest desires satisfied already.

Now she is ready to settle down and fall in love with some guy who is a beta male who doesn't even know that women have that phase.

But the problem is the beta males are going red pill and trying to escape their place as betas.

The other men get to marry a woman who loves them and they get to have a real family.

The beta males endure a wife who despises him because there aren't enough alpha males to go around.

Women settle for a beta because she needs something. And she resents him.

Women resent beta males because they see being the alpha as a simple thing.

Women think all men should have perfect confidence, perfect boundaries, and perfect action (for acquiring resources and such).

Any man who doesn't do this is a lazy man boy child in the eyes of women.

Women are angry at men for not dedicating our lives to having children and raising a family.

If you are a man and married and maybe about to have kids, she will harass and abuse and raise hell, until you become the man that does everything in his power to work and take care of his family.

Most men are not as dedicated as women want us to be. They want the core of our very being to be focused on that. Any man who isn't is a man boy child.

She is forced to settle for what she perceived is a man boy child and she will not cease to treat him badly until he learns his lesson, submits to his family, submits to her, and becomes nothing bit a provider.

Women get wet at the idea of such a man. She imagines him as being so in love with her that he is compelled to become a super hero. Working and providing, fighting and defending, all for his perfect love.

Women think all men should be like this and that it is the most basic and simple requirement to be a man.

Anything less is a man boy child, immature and so on.

Girls are masturbating and orgasming to the idea of being dominated by a man who loves her as mentioned above.

They are Cummings their little brains out rubbing their cute little clitoris.

Women spend their lives orgasming to a perfect man and any man she settles for who is less than that man, is not able to stimulate her sexually.

So she is angry you're not making her lust for you. She's angry that you're not putting her in her place wirh firm boundaries. She's angry you're not dedicating your life to the legacy of your family.

So yea most men are the beta males because women have specific fantasies about men and they will never go away.

The toxic "real man" that the patriarchy is molded from, comes from female sexual desire.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Though your first choice may have been Richard Gere or George Clooney, you've probably grown since those adolescent crushes, have learned more about who you are and what works best for you. Now, you may realize the fantasy of the famous person is not the life you'd want to live in reality. If you choose me now, you're choosing me based on what you've discovered works best for you now. I would have no problem being involved with someone who sees value in who I am today, as compared to her idealized adolescent vision. I wouldn't choose to be with someone who has settled for me, just to be in a relationship. Settling just leads to resentment and disappointment.

Bricealan · Accepted Answer

@Adeva  Wow, you are really very intuitive!  One of the girls that I might have married in my 20's was one that I felt EXACTLY like that! I always thought that I was her second or third choice and that If we married, she would have been 'Settling" for me, rather than of of the hotter guys that she had been with before. her 'go to" guy and I felt I did not resent her screwing other men before, but I felt that when she got dropped, by those guys, I was always her "go to" guy I would always resent her for 'settling' for Bruce (ME) or that she would be bitter because she 'settled'. You are very intuitive for being 14.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on how you look at it. For example, it could have been an actor in your favorite movie that was your ‘first choice’ and that generally isn’t going to work for obvious reasons lol. Life happens however. There could be Boy/Girl A and B. A was your first choice and they rejected you. You end up liking B and building a life with them. B wasn’t your first choice, but obviously once you choose them they should always be your first choice going forward regardless if the person A changes their mind or someone else tries to get your attention.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The uglier person in the relationship will always get treated wrong.

if you’re not someone’s first choice. You will be treated wrong. Male / Female. Don’t matter. If your partner can do “better”. You’ll be mistreated.

Your man or woman will cheat on you 100%

this is also why older men past the age of 32-35. They think they can get these younger women, more fertile women.. when jokes on you. She’ll cheat on you too. You think you look great at 32-35?
DA F—-k 😂😂😂

she's in it for the money. Not you 🫵

Radiate143 · Accepted Answer

No, I think a woman is worse off if the man is settling for her. If he leaves her and she's has kids for him, she has a much rougher time finding a partner because of the double standard. Men can always be redeemed while woman are arbitrarily blamed.

DaveJord · Answer

I will tell you this, there is probably a low percentage of married women in this world that on some level does not believe she could not do better than the man she has. Like she might have the relationship she wants, but on some level, she believes she could do better.

And honestly you cannot blame her, because any number guy out there would get with her if they could and she knows it, so it's just a matter of finding the right sucker. But here is the trick... men know this about women and that is way they get used and abused all the time. Because even when they in a good relationship they still think, they could do better.

dynamicyandere · Answer

If you want your partner to be loyal, they must not feel like they are settling when they are with you.

You should find someone that views you as their first choice.

But in order to do that, it takes not only having great chemistry to start, but also a strong bond to be built that they wouldn’t trade the world for.

Not that spouses are pets, but for sake of analogy, if you have a bunch of puppies lined up to adopt, you may adopt the cutest one.

But, after building a close bond with your beloved pet, cute or not, you wouldn’t trade that pet for any other.

Human bonds can be even stronger if nurtured correctly.

So I say, do not marry someone unless you mutually see your bond as precious and irreplaceable.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I am a person, and I agree "Do not marry a person if you are not their first choice."

Rule applies equally to men and women. If you are someone's second choice and they "settle" with you, won't you always wonder whether they regret being in a relationship with you and whether they will leave if someone better comes along?

coachTanthony · Answer

If you choose wrong or grow as a person and actually find someone you connect with and are aligned with then that person would be your first choice. That other person wasn't right for you for whatever reason and thankfully you didn't waste years with them.

AviatorTom · Answer

I disagree. She may not be my first choice, but we can be happy together. Same thing goes for her choice.

Apple1996 · Answer

A woman always has many options so it doesn't matter if you are first or last as long as she picks you

Avicenna · Answer

Depending on who was first choice or how far down in the pecking order she went, yeah, it's putting your marriage at risk.

abc3643 · Answer

I wanted to answer this earlier but could not and am likely not to give a good answer here as I would like.

=======

When in love - REAL love - the person you love IS your first (and only) choice.

So, in short, marriage should be between two people who are in real love with each other.

Unfortunately, sometimes... well, usually... life happens and we get a broken heart. We can't be with the person with were in real love with, but we feel we have to move on.

Luckily, believe it or not, we CAN experience real love with someone new again. So, while that new person we love was not the first choice long ago, they are the first choice now.

But, also, when you get older and your priorities change, marriage isn't always about real passionate love. In fact, sometimes, you just become incapable of that sort of love anymore. Still, marriage gives all sorts of benefits. After all, ideally, you marry your best friend.

I could go on for hours about this, but my thoughts aren't well thought-out lately. When you asked this question, my sweet dog died and I've been a bit devastated since not able to focus well...

... but I have to move on; I have 6 remaining dogs, 2 cats, and a horse to love and care for.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Oh I absolutely agree. Women are very good at putting on a front when they need a man despite not really liking him. They will sell their bodies to men they would never touch with a 10 ft poll. This comes from thousands of years of evolution of when women depended on men to protect and provide for them.

But in modern times she will be plotting a way to get out of it and will very likely cheat. When she does divorce him she will leave the man devastated along with taking half his money. Second choice men are almost always selected because they have resources but not because the woman has any real feelings for him. But that doesn’t mean that particular guy (naively) doesn’t develop real feelings for her.

Truth be told I think I lot of these “safety net” guys deep down know it’s all bs. But they are too idealistic. They want to have strong marriage and start a family. They are also too scared of being lonely, single, etc. Sex is part of it but it’s also about their own personal image and pride. A man who is married to an attractive woman (who isn’t too psycho) is often viewed as successful in society.

DWornock · Answer

The problem is, unless a man is an Alpha male and she is the Alpha female or if she is a virgin since she has fucked a hotter guy, the man is never her first choice. Since the Stone Age, only the Alpha female mates with the Alpha male. However, the Alpha male has f**ked every woman in the tribe and he is their first choice.

Compared to our evolutionary history, modern history is just a flash in the pan. Therefore, we still have our Stone Age brains so, in effect, things are still the same. Alpha males will f**k almost any woman. Therefore, almost all women have been f**ked by Alpha males and Alpha males are their first choice.

DJB72 · Answer

I disagree. Don't chase her if she asks you not to make her choose between you and another guy - she's already chosen and it wasn't you. The same works the other way round. Anything said before the word "but" is automatically cancelled by it.

If she's a classy lady you'll never know you weren't first choice. If she tells you she's leaving someone to be with you then that could be a red flag. If she's not in a relationship that's one thing. If she's prepared to leave someone for you, she'll leave you for someone else...

VictorMachiavelli · Answer

I don’t think that this is meant as a comparison between a normal man and a male celebrity. It’s more to do with a woman who would prefer one guy or one type of guy, but because she couldn’t get him she settled for a guy who was more like a plan B.

Either the people answering this question know this, or they’re retarded. I can’t tell which. But yeah, obviously, don’t get with someone who only sees you as plan B.

Pegases · Answer

Absolutely agree. Most men have to work hard to become a man with options. Thus, a man with options deosnt have to settle, nor should he. Besides, the love from a woman that picked you second will never compare to the love of a woman that picked you first.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Absolutely spot on. These are the woman that go for the 'high quality' alpha bad guys when they are in their prime and then try and settle for the beta when they hit the wall. A bit like what you will try and do and get a nasty bump down to Earth which you do not know yet.

These women will only cheat on us in any case if we are not their first choice.

Twalli · Answer

Most girls don't know what they want when they start dating, also their preferences might change. Also, I was not my girlfriend's first choice, because she started dating at 18 and if she was after a 13 year old at that time, I'd be worried. Finally, we didn't know each other until she was 32, so she couldn't have chosen me before then because we weren't aware of the other's existence. I am not a consolation prize to her, because she declined several men who asked her out after we met while waiting for me to ask her out.

Anonymous · Answer

That is nuts, almost no woman would ever be marred if she never settled (or was allowed to settle) for her 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th choice in today's world.

Like it or not your 1st choice is almost always unobtainable even if they are a real person you can actually meet as they will likely be the 1st, or 2nd choice of too many other women.

Women either grow-up and deal with it like everyone else or they really need to be isolated from everyone as a whorish or bitter threat.

Lliam · Answer

What does "first choice" mean? Her first boyfriend? Her first sex partner? The first man she ever fell in love with?

Juxtapose · Answer

People make this shit too convoluted. Just find someone who makes you happy and will stay with you for life.. what more do you need?

You could always say the grass is greener on the other side but then you will end up with nothing if you chase that.

LiamJHayden · Answer

How are we defining "First Choice?" Most people do not marry their first "love." Or do we mean, "Do not marry her if she puts another above you?" The former seems untenable. The latter seems like it should be a given.

ManOnFire · Answer

"Most women end up with the relationship they want but not with the man they would prefer" - Lol what? If it's not the man they prefer I can't imagine it would be the relationship they want either. On top of it, most women end up in unhappy relationships far more than men do, because the women knowingly get with men they don't really like or love deep down.

Cancel this ridiculous post.

molonski2 · Answer

If your first choice is some movie star , sporting legend , business mogil , then the entire concept of the question makes no sense , plus first choice will be different as time goes on , but if the concept is " never compromise " then fair enough , what will be will be..

Marriage is a rather ludicrous concept , unless you are say my age , and certainly not a thing to even discuss under 25 , its a circumstance that has in real terms an 85 % failure rate.

Drewtate · Answer

Absolutely true. I'm thinking of Jada Smith, she wanted Gangsta thug rapper Tupac but got happy rapper will smith. Will Smith who today could probably get with any young actress in her 20s if he choose to.

nonyabeez-wax · Answer

Not referencing first loves. Thats not realistic.

But if she would rather, for example be with your cousin, but he's faithful and taken, she will still never be happy with you, or respect you. So no. Don't marry her if you're her backup option.

Princessvarsha · Answer

Yes true this happened most of the times dear maybe in pressure from family or relatives.

Some might have some other reasons which can be conflicting so would not say it here.

i too have seen many of the women in this situation dear.

it is really bad, untill and unless you are sure about a person you should not marry him!!!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Context is important.

If she had 1 or 2 boyfriends before you then yes you can marry a woman like that if her pervious relationships failed for whatever reason.

If you an another person she's talking too and she chooses him over you then it failed and she comes back to you then don't even date her much less marry her.

Anonymous · Answer

If you are a man and women who in the past would not even give the time of day, let alone date you, suddenly start showing you attention you are NOT their first choice, they are ‘settling’ because their friend are getting married etc, and they do not want to be the odd one out, love has little if anything to do with it. And Yes I know that this is a cynical POV, but that comes from years of experience.

Anonymous · Answer

Totally agree! The problem with this is all women lie. Some a little, some a lot. So you'll never know for certain if you're truly her first choice.😆

The best advice I can give a guy is TAKE YOU TIME. If she ain't in it for the long haul with you. She'll show it at some point.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

How does one ever possibly know that until it’s too late? It’s a case of the optimal stopping problem.

RingOfFire · Answer

Yes of course. It would be foolish to marry someone if you are not their first choice because you would know that they are less than completely satisfied with you. It's hard enough to have a good marriage even when you are the first choice.

nastyb · Answer

even if a woman married a man who is her first choice, it really doesn't mean the marriage will work. Plenty of people married their first choice, it still can't work. why do you think half of all marriages end in divorce?

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Absolutely. I am not wanting to be someone's fall back or second choice. Why? If that primary person shows up there is a high degree of certainty infidelity could occur. I am just not going to take that chance.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You're never going to be a woman's first choice. Her first choice is always some celebrity. (And if you're a celebrity, her first choice is a different celebrity.)

Deesss25 · Answer

You know what I find funny. No woman is denying this to be false. If this was false women would be like "ooooo that's ridiculous I married the love of my life" etc. They're not saying that they saying everything else. Should be a huge red pill for most guys.

Granted first choice doesn't mean chronologically it just means is there a guy who already had in mind realistically that you weren't able to get so then you "settled" for him

Billlewis · Answer

How do you know if you're her first choice?

Hermitess · Answer

A man should never marry a woman, unless she’s a stripper or a porn star. He’s lowering his standards if he marries anyone less than that & Will never truly be happy

KostasKouvalis · Answer

No, I DON'T agree! People grow on each other.

OddBeMe · Answer

First choice can literally just mean chronological. Everyone assumes you’re either gonna be with your fated mate or settle.

How about just try people on in your life and see which guy/girl fits best?

Sharkstealth · Answer

I took that as the gal who has lots of guy friends and sleeps with most then chooses based on what they provide her with. Yes I have seen it a few times in my life and I think this is where it may result in problems.

KaiidiraX · Answer

This goes both ways but our first choice isn't always available to us.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i don't agree with this my ex is not someone my type but i have loved him more than anyone and was literally priceless

jshm2 · Answer

No. Don't be stupid.  Marriage is not simply "choice". There are a lot of different factors that go into it.

Nifrayu · Answer

Not necessarily. It's something to consider though.

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

I refuse to be anyone's 2nd choice, since it's known women do this, marriage is out, likely commitment too.

purplepoppy · Answer

Unless you're a 7ft tall billionaire you're unlikely to be her first choice.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Yep, I'm either the first choice or I stop being a choice

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

It doesn't seem like a good idea to date someone when you aren't their first choice anyway.

Exterminatore · Answer

100% agree. If she has to settle for you then you don’t want her.

Girlsontop · Answer

Tbh it's best to always be the first choice if possible either way

andreasderjuengere · Answer

At my age I'm ok when I'm her LATEST choice :) Also: I'm not interested in the ''what if's'' as long as what we have is nice enough.

nawtee_me · Answer

Just because you are not a woman’s first choice doesn’t mean you are not her best choice.

m33ladEmjay · Answer

West and dating and relationship is finished. I dont even see any high value men bothering with dating.  SIMPS have destroyed everything.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

In countries, where people are married by the selection of parents or siblings, means Arranged Marriages, this thing is very common,

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

If we didn't meet first it can't be helped. You may not be the first, but the best choice.

Lovesoad1 · Answer

It's you again the 14 year old. Noone marries their first choice ever. That just never happens. You need to wait untill you are at least 18 to become an influencer you need some life experience.

magiusX26 · Answer

yes and a step further of i am considered an option instead of the one/a catch/or some such.

Grond21 · Answer

I think you should marry the woman who you choose and who chooses you. Without any comparison to anyone else.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

I say don't marry at all regardless. But definitely if you are not the bitch's first choice.

msc545 · Answer

Yes I fully agree. A woman who is married to a man who is not her first choice will never be satisfied and will always be angry. It's just not worth it.

Dargil · Answer

I do not. Maybe she wasn't HIS first choice.

Anonymous · Answer

I say don’t get married at all. Women are never happy w things. They will always find something to complain or cry about.

If you are a man, do you agree, "Do not marry a woman if you are not her first choice?

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