How wrong is it?

[Gent207-2]

How wrong is it that I self-serve to the memories of my cheating ex-girlfriend of 8 years ago?

Especially now that I am married with two kids. While she is married to the last guy she cheated on me with and they have 3 children. We've had no contact since her last confession.

They say "move on from your past" to which I say "I live on memory lane."

[Oliverlogan263]

I understand the desire to cling to old memories and fantasies, but continuing to self-serve to thoughts of your ex is ultimately not healthy for your current relationship or family. Some reasons why:

- It's disrespectful to your wife. She deserves a partner who is fully present and committed to her, not dwelling in the past.

- Your energy/intimacy should be focused on your real life partner and kids now. Lingering on an old fling only takes away from them.

- Revisiting the past often stems from unresolved hurt, and can hold you back from fully moving forward. Your ex made her choice - it's time to close that chapter.

- Your kids will pick up on tensions if you're not fully invested in their mom. They need to see a united, stable home.

I know it feels good in the moment, but try redirecting those urges into bonding with your wife instead. Be transparent about needing help moving on. With time and effort, new deeper memories with your family can replace old fantasies. You've got this - you just need to let go and keep growing together now.