Is it normal that my boyfriend is too competitive?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and it has been a little over a month. He isn't the biggest gamer but he enjoys and has sort of a obsession over collecting them on Steam. I started trying to download and play the games he likes but i never really played games and i think I'm generally just untalented. Whenever we play (we play fps mostly), he makes into a unspoken competition and keeps killing me and shooting me and later proceeds to make fun of it. I know some people might found it chill and i didn't mind at the beginning but now im getting irritated and i expressed my dissatisfaction before and he said "aww sorry" but today we played another game after a while and again the same crap. I feel pretty triggered and don't know how to approach the situation since he is my first boyfriend and i don't have much experience with playing other males. Anyone has any suggestions or ways to approach for me?

[provokeesmokee]

You don't need to force yourself to play with him. But definitely express you don't like playing with him when he keeps killing you.

I would suggest just not playing shooters with him. Only coop or adventure games. At least until he breaks out of his CS:GO lobby boytalk phase (if he ever does, some boys don't).

He probably has never played games with someone not in a FPS MMO game. So he doesn't know how to play without being a troll and competitive.

Do you enjoy the games he plays with you if he's not killing you off?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that don't sound cool of him at all to keep killing you just to show off. When you play games together, it should just be about having fun together, not always trying to one-up each other. Making fun of you for not being as good is lame too. We all start somewhere learning a new game. Seems like you told him before it bugs you and he didn't really listen. Next time he does it, maybe say something straight up like "Dude, I'm trying to enjoy playing with you but you killing me on purpose every time ruins the fun. Can we just play normal and not make it a competition all the time?" If he keeps disrespecting how you feel after that, might be time to really put your foot down. Long distance is hard enough without drama. Or maybe find another fun activity you can do together where winning isn't the focus, like watching shows or something. Hopefully he'll realize competitive for competitions sake shouldn't come between y'all having a good time. Good luck!

[Pyrofox]

Just remind him that its okay to just enjoy the game and that gaming with others doesn't always have to be a W. XD. That being said some I'd though point out are just fluffing naturally good at like video gaming LOL. They can't really change the fact they just have a strong aptitude to just win cause they figure out the basics of a game or comp and just figure out how to really isolate the winning factors.

[Pyrofox]

Like I got some friends that I'd play at shooters and they are just scary effing good at shooters. Like I got a friend who's been the top ranks of like Apex legends and have to nerf their play style just to enjoy playing the game. Like you give them a KB&M and they will make in like 1-2 days time somehow to like pred. o... o and its gotten to a point if they didn't realize that gamepad is more challenging they were like for a while actually getting bored of Apex Legends they were so good. XD. Like at a certain point I remember them like saying they were considering swapping hands on KB&M just to keep the game interesting. o... o I'm like bruh how intense are you sweating XD.

[Bethany22]

As long as he's nice to you in all other contexts, I wouldn't be worried. Men have the strange ability to be competitive with their friends at work but then after work they're nice to each other. It's really hard for women to understand that, as for us, everything's related, but as long as you understand that men are different, you shouldn't have to be too worried.

[BrownSugar00]

Well I would say that it depends. Being too competitive can lead to unfortunate outcomes. It could also be a sign as a toxic trait/red flag 🚩

If he gets triggered so easily that your beating him even while playing domino's, then that shows how he likes to be the one in control and to succeed at everything. It could be that he's afraid to fail and of making a mistake. But what do I know? I'm still studying so I can get my Bachelors in Professional Studies to become an advisor for young adults.

[Fireguy17]

It might be time to rethink is this they type of person I would like to spend time with, if not move on.

He probably will not change so you are starting to see the real him.

First or 50th boyfriend at some point you just go nope, not the one for me.

[lildkman1090]

Sounds boring and not so fun sounds like my life right now do you believe god no I’m no bible pusher a simple question and I just want your sincere answer

[DeeDeeDeVour]

You're probably the only he can actually beat in those games.

And, when he rubs it to your face, he's actually being a bully.

[lorenzomichael]

Sounds kinda gay. What do you mean competitive like with you? Because that's the stupid. But if he's being competitive with another male then that's all right.

[slatyb]

Is this fun for you? Why do you keep doing it?

[Anonymous]

stop playing games with him. i'm surprised at your age range, he sounds really immature.

[Anonymous]

Either he is just obsessed with winning in the game
Or he is a dominant that wants to dominate you in everything, probably in bed too
If you love being submissive, I think it's cool

[Anonymous]

Gaming is for children. How old is this man-child?

[Monalisa77]

My brothers r late 30s n 40 n still play, so what?

[Stez123]

Most gen X comment I’ve seen you know we are in 2023 some games look like movies these days

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Stez123 I'm GenX and I play. A lot of the video games coming out are better story than the constant reboot of Hollyweird anyway

[grega239]

Fps games are competitive.

Git gud scrub

[JennieF]

A lot of guys are. Some of us are too. Hubs and I were both athletes.

[BLP11520]

Some men play for blood no matter who they are playing. He may be normal.

[Anonymous]

No, it means he sees you as a man or homie. Not attracted to you.

[DaBiggestBird]

Just tell his to stop being toxic

[shades777]

first mistake was a long distance relationship

[Anonymous]

Tell him this is not a F1 race

[Anonymous]

He can let you win

[OddBeMe]

Seems immature.