Is it normal that my boyfriend is competitive with me about everything?

[Anonymous]

I know he loves me, he shows me that every day in every way, but i always notice how he gets very competitive about basically everything (big or small). He feels it emasculates him, which sure i can understand for *some* things (even though i dont agree), but its for every stupid thing. I notice he can be sexist at times and we end up debating about it but we just agree to disagree in the end because it’s exhausting for me. Going back to the competitive part, he knows im not the same way but he still takes it seriously. From the big things to the little things. For instance last night we were playing pool (I don't know how to play it, he does). I asked him for tips, etc. one time i needed guidance, and he said something like he’s trying to win so he can't really help me (while slightly laughing). Like im just trying to have fun with him? But he takes it too seriously. Or when we play at arcade games and i win against him sometimes, he’d slap the game around like a child and i get embarrassed. He also always wants his gifts for me to be more expensive than my gift for him. I don't know. Its easy to ignore it initially, but its getting too much at this point. It ruins things. I know they might sound stupid and petty, but theyre just the ones that has happened recently.

Updates

1 y

Initially i said i know he loves me and i mean it. When we’re not doing anything that involves him having to win it, everything is great. We laugh around, joke a lot, and make each other happy. So i might just be overthinking it, and needed to rant about it.

[AdithyaR]

That sounds exhausting tbh. What happens if you end up landing a higher paying job than him? Is he gonna throw a tantrum and ask you to not take it?
My general thumb rule is that if a guy's sense of masculinity is stemmed from this need to always prove that they're better than everyone else, they're not very secure individuals and not worth being around.

[Guy13]

No that’s not normal or smart.

[Rosexøxø]

That’s such a bummer lol

I laugh because I definitely seen this behavior, before.

I want to say, by impulse, he doesn’t love you. He’s too insecure and not confident enough in himself to let you rank where you do, in any matter.

He’s too “traditional,” and doesn’t respect your intelligence or find that the arousing part.

You have some options:

• take him up on the challenge, to fine-tune and sharpen your qualities
• let him work extremely hard to impress and serve you lol (let him buy expensive gifts for you and such)
• Discuss some options with him and how it makes you feel or so
• leave him 🤷‍♀️

you can either perfect yourself in some of these matters and find him as a good practice board/ target

or you can let his actions benefit you,

Or you can discuss it with him as your partner and hope for an understanding and resolve,

but with his stubbornness, things probably won’t change..

It’d be best if you ended the relationship and found someone who’d be more interested in you as an *equal.*

No couple is better than their weakest member. If he thinks he’s better or has to constantly assert this… then he’s not even growing with you or being in some of the moments.

Some guys are truly competitive but they can find the balance, or let their girl win certain things or make it special like letting their competitive spirit win her things like toys at a carnival/ arcade. Some guys have no problem teaching their partner and learning things from her as well. They go about it in more reasonable ways, though.

If you end things, at least consider keeping in touch with him so you can spar lol

Clearly you sound like you want your boyfriend to be more of a ‘friend,’ and less of a ‘training buddy’ or intense/aggressive partner. That’s understandable.

[spartan55]

Are you dating Andrew Tate? Maybe he watches his videos too much or something. I rarely say this, but don't think you are overreacting at all. The shit he is doing would wear my ass out in a hurry. The pool thing would have really pissed me off... you didn't know how to play... wtf? I would have a come to Jesus talk with him, but I wouldn't expect him to change.

[inhua]

some people are just born that competitive. look at Michael Jordan, one of the most competitive athletes of all times. revered and beloved around the world even nearly 2 decades after his retirement

[Rosexøxø]

Amen 🙏 #23

[exitseven]

He is insecure and thinks that if he loses to a girl it somehow means he is a loser and no girl will want him.

[cloud9vortex1234]

If he's like that with everyone then that's just who he is.

[TrillXHippy]

Yeah