What is the secret of long-lasting marriages?

[justkoala]

[Blueeyes81]

My parents have been married 50 years. I remember someone asked him how he did it. My dad responded with "I promised her to be there through good times and bad. It's not always easy and there will be times you don't like each other but I made her that promise and I intend to keep it." They are each others world despite getting on each other's nerves in retirement.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s sweet. I believe “commitment” is the key to real love.

Your father’s words remind me of my own, I was a heart breaker before I met my ex, who promised me to always love me and who I promised to always love, when when I wouldn’t want to.

I kept my promise. He couldn’t. I think keeping the promise is all it takes. As hard as it is, at times.

[exitseven]

Yes, I took the "Till death Us Do Part" pretty literally.

[Sasha0426]

Aww, good for them 🥰

[YesterdaysChild]

Everybody says these vows on their wedding day in the US - or at least most do.
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

[Blueeyes81]

@YesterdaysChild yes and 50% blow them off.

[YesterdaysChild]

Well I didn't want to be a kill joy and bring that point up. 🤐

[Keyboardkat]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 Aww, that's so sad! Really! He apparently didn't realize what a treasure he had! Do you have children with him? How old are they? I always want to ask guys like this, "Can you bear to see the tears in your wife's eyes, someone who trusted you, cared for you, had children with you? Can you face yourself? Ten years from now, when you look in the mirror, will you like what you see, or will you spit on your reflection?" You know what? There are times when it is incredibly hard to do the right thing, when temptation is bending your brain, when every drop of your blood and every synapse in your brain is crying out for another person, perhaps and ex, perhaps not. And if you stand strong and do the right thing in spite of that, in spite of how hard it can be, it's a great feeling, knowing that you did what was right. And that feeling lasts! And Somebody Upstairs will know, even if no one else does! He will never know that feeling!
May you be blessed!

[exitseven]

I think finding the right person is half of it. We had similar backgrounds and similar values. We had similar goals and similar experiences. We also have synergy as well, we compliment each other.

It is also a lot of work, compromise and commitment. Also I think that being able to see the value of a good marriage is helpful as well.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[Xoxocutekitty]

Shared maturity, an ability to grow up together, a willingness to play together.

Knowing the difference between solvable and unsolvable problems. Knowing when to speak up against your partner and when to shut up and listen to/comfort them.

[YesterdaysChild]

I'll tell you the secret that seems to spell it out for me.

[lightbulb27]

In addition to what @exitseven said, communicate which means learn to speak and listen and find ways to bring joy into each others lives, learn to let go of the little things, learn honor the big things. Work together constructively to bring harmony to family. I think working on yourself is important as well, we all change, change is going to happen and required. Learn to accept change and new adventures.

What would I know... we've been together 7 years and married 1.

So take it a day at a time...

[FunkyMonkee]

Most likely, marrying someone because of a very strong bond with them, not just because they fucked you a couple times. Too many people dive straight into marriage right after starting the relationship. Dating is to spend time getting to know the person better and finding out if they ARE someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with! This can take a few years! When I started dating my future ex-fiance, we were only living together for about 2 years, when I popped the question. By the 4th year, she started pulling away from me, for some reason and, by at least the 8th year, started cheating on me!

[jeffend888]

It's called the right fit.

You are aligned on life choices, such as having kids, where to live and you both come from good families and you get along with each other's families. You and your families are both normal, sans mental or financial issues, and free of chaos so you can make progress throughout your lives together. You meet at a normal age, such as 25 or 26 and you are married by 29 and start having kids by 30.

That is the key to long marriage. Anything less will end in disaster.

[HoraceB]

We've been married 13 years. We share a lot of the same views on things, help each other with everything, in constant communication, spend a lot of time together, and share a lot of common interests. We are best friends.

[Jersey2]

You have to be easier on the person you are married to than you are anyone else. Some people are the exact opposite and think they have to be harder in that person. They should be a part of you and you to them.

[electromagnetic]

I’m here for the xper as I wait for the older married folk to comment.
I’ll take notes.

[SquishyBuns2628]

Yo same!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Never been married but not talking too much and bothering the other person just works.

Talking too much ruins things and people generally don't like to be bothered like my grandma taught me.

[admles]

Love, respect and TRUST!

My parents are married 46 years, and one thing they have emphasised is trust; to this day they have never gone through each other's phones / handbags / diaries - they trust each other.

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

Love. respect and the understanding that marriage is not always a smooth road. mine lasted 33year before she passed, and I still miss her all the time.

[Sparkie460]

The number 1 is communication. You also have to trust and respect each other, be loyal to each other. My wife and I have been together for 35 years but it seems like we are still honeymooners.

[elizamichale1]

Trust, honesty n willingness to make compromises

[_NightGuard_]

In my opinion, respect, loyalty, understanding and communication..

[KatherineJ]

Hard work, communication, loving without condition, and a sense of humor.

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Respect, sacrifice, selfless love 💘😂and morals are basics

[eagle1951]

loving each other every day, working through your problems together, taking care of one another

[Anonymous]

Compromise. Trust. Forgiveness. Accepting who they are.

[dreamstar72]

Never go to bed mad, it will only make things worse in the morning

[SquishyBuns2628]

I'm just following to take notes.

[JackCarter]

Putting effort to keep each other happy !

[mobiusforniner]

Commitment and communication

[sheikalana]

Companionship and commitment.

[Nikki1989]

Communication.

[cbaymesee]

Mutual respect and loyalty. Empathy. Laughter. Shared goals. These aren't secrets, theyre what happy marriages have in common.

[love_conquers_lust]

Communication, humor

[MissBoogus]

You need a bit of luck and Never lie.

[LavLavLuv]

Compatibility, communication, trust

[normalice]

Attention

[abc3643]

One of them is in a coma.

[dudeinohio]

Open communication