What is most likely to almost guarantee a lasting marriage?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Start by living as if divorce didn't exist. Live and make choices in your life as if marriage meant that DEATH was the only way your marriage - and all the obligations and benefits of it - would end. If you do this, suddenly you start to understand the gravity of your decisions, and you're going to be a lot less flippant about making them.

Then you need to choose your spouse PRIMARILY on their morals, values, and life-goals, rather than their looks, money, status, or what people will think on IG. Obviously those other things are going to be factors in your decision, but if you don't make morals, values, and life-goals the PRIMARY criteria, then after the honeymoon period ends, and you're dealing with the WHOLE person you married, even the hottest, richest, highest-status person might be hell to live with because the things you forget were important to you weren't in alignment, resulting in constant fights and arguments.

Most people today spend more time picking their dinner choice off a restaurant menu than they do on choosing their spouse and vetting them, which is insanity. Part of it is the Disney Princess phenomenon - women actually believing in the fairy tale and that marriage means "happily ever after." That's not real - not for anyone.

Life is going to throw challenges your way for as long as you are alive. You'll have good times too, but problems and challenges will come along constantly. The purpose of marriage, aside from children (which is hugely important but another separate topic) is to have a partner to help you handle those challenges, because as difficult as they might be, it's nearly always easier with a partner to deal with them. Life, and marriage, is never going to be free of problems and strife, but being married to a good partner is going to make it far easier to manage everything, and will thus increase your overall happiness.

But if you expect marriage to solve all your problems and deliver you "happily ever after", then your expectations are SO far divorced from reality that you have no business getting married, because you are already on the path to divorce before you start.

HaveNoName · Accepted Answer

Get rid of the mindset that if it does not work you can always walk out if it. If you do not have the will and desire to be patient, forgiving and honest; and if you are not prepared to know that it is HARD WORK but the only right way in eyes of thrle creator; you will not be able to make it work till both of your are alive together.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

1.  Love . Let's say it's a necessary condition. Together comes the will to create something more and not give up. 2.  Compatibility . If you share interests, opinions, and experiences, it's much easier to maintain a friendly relationship. And a friendly relationship is necessary because two people live together, eat together, watch TV together, and do things together. 3.  Communication . When compatibility is lacking, negotiation is necessary. For successful negotiation, both parties must fully understand the situation. So, both parties must be able to raise the problem, describe it from their perspectives, and then negotiate a solution. It means sometimes one person will lose, sometimes another. And it's OK. It's called compromise, and if losses and gains are more or less equal on both sides, it's perfectly fine. 4.  Acceptance and understanding . Not everything can be compatible or negotiable. Some things must stay as they are. I can't change that my husband is an introvert. He can't change I'm Asperger's. But anyway, we still have to communicate. I needed to tell him about my condition, and he said to me about his. We read and learned a lot about each other.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Taking your marriage vows seriously. Embracing one another in good and bad times and instead of looking to run when times get tough, look to find solutions. You also have to value who your partner is, and understand their love language, and try to treat them the way you'd want to be treated always.

Finchie40 · Answer

Learn how to remove selfishness from within yourself and for your partner , if you do not know how to remove selfishness from within yourself and for Your partner , don’t expect them to remove it for you , it needs to go both ways for any relationship to last , and for love to continue to grow between you both , it won’t always be perfect , but when you choose your partner over everyone else , it will make it easier for your partner to choose you , a relationship can not be one sided , when a relationship becomes one sided That relationship is pretty much over , your partner should be your top priority over everyone else , including your friends and family , unless you are being physically or mentally abused or your partner is cheating on you and manipulating you , but other than that , you are best to fix what is broken , before running to someone else thinking they will save you and thinking what is best for you That right there is a selfish mindset , that sadly most people have , Do not get into a relationship with someone that you know for a fact that is t making you their top priority the same way you make them , if you can’t remove selfishness from within yourself , you will just be wasting your time and continuing having failed relationships, it’s ok to be wrong , you can’t always be right , when you learn to point fingers at yourself before pointing fingers at your partner or someone else , that is part of removing selfishness , Love only grows when 2 people choose each other over everyone else , it’s ok to have friends but only ok to have friends that support your relationship, friends that try to sabotage your relationship and try to pull you away from your partner , kick them to the curb where they belong , your partner should always come before your friends period , Most people have a very hard time grasping this concept and then they wonder why they keep having failed relationships , Start pointing fingers at your self before pointing fingers at someone else , especially your partner , Work as a team and not against each other your marriage will more than likely last of you choose each other

ohsheeT · Answer

I was going to say a sidekick if both men and women had a sidekick. but not even that secures a marriage

I think about the only thing that will do it is to have two people that are committed understand what true love is and they're willing to grow together no matter the circumstance but they grow and they're there for each other every day just like in the beginning

We are all selfish people if something breaks we don't fix it anymore we just go get something new it's more convenient more easier
But in the long run I know you really happy just because it was a cheaper price it was convenient it was easier
I think I would rather fix the old. Better quality craftsmanship LOL

And then when you have the people that are not happy they're going to do anything in their power to get out of whatever it is they're in

I'm curious if you found the right answer if you bottled it and sold it would it be a hot item to buy I would people stay away from it.

Bethany22 · Answer

Good communication and the ability to put emotions aside and look at the facts and the big picture

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Nothing in life is guaranteed, not even a lasting marriage

Avicenna · Answer

Compatilbility, mutual respect and a desire to build something great

Harness · Answer

Night_Angel, you claim that leadership is not for men... I will ask you "is it then for women?" You also claim that men are not well groomed... that is a very fallacious statement to make. Your stand is very sexist and biased.

I will take your arguments one a time. You claim that because something is believed to be true doesn't make it true... that is reasonable but you forget that something stated by many to be true is usually based generally on observed trends... you may counter that the society was patriarchal, perhaps so, but you discount that many women still chased their sexual desires (extramarital -though not in all cases) and still the trend is still believed to hold.

In a Dutch funded research, by Freak-Poli et al., among the old persons population 49.5% of the males with partners claim to be sexually active, 13.7% without partner claim sexually activity in the last six months; on the other hand only 40.4% of females with partners confirm the same, while 1.3% without partners say they've had sexual contact in the last six months. The argument remains that more men remain active in old age than women, sexually that is, baring illness and medications that may inhibit or reduce libido.

Perhaps you may argue that the active men are after all active with women... let's hold constant that the majority of men of that age group are mostly heterosexual; the fact that there are usually outliers in each group, female particularly in this context, still does not distort the fact that generally more men are active than more women are.

Now you claimed that men are not well-groomed for stating their age, you also assert that women are properly groomed for hiding their ages (in fact lying about); I will ask you "is lying and deception proper grooming?" Check your ideas...

While I agree that it is not wrong to marry an immature person -whether male or female. The truth is, such a relationship is not sustainable, even more so when the man is the immatured one; women can hardly bare such a man; yes, I understand that the dynamics are changing but then a thousand years instinct, of women, cannot simply change overnight.

Night_Angel, you seem feminist I will suggest you swerve from your current position to a more rational one; I am not saying feminists are irrational, I don't know all their arguments, I am simply saying you are more balanced a human being when you can look at both sides.

Reference:
Dellwo, A. (2023). How Sex Drive Change As You Age. Healthy Age. Verywell health. Available at: www. verywellhealth. com/more-sex-for-older-adults-2224254

Medically reviewed by Isaac O. Opole, MD, Phd.

godfatherfan · Answer

1) Both people having been brought up in a family that stuck together. What I mean by that is, when I was young, I knew of only 1 person in my parents age that was divorced. Later my uncle got divorced after 30 years of marriage. We learned that if you can fall in love, you can fix things. My ex-wife was brought up in a family where she had 2 uncles that were not divorced. Her mom (twice), her aunt, cousins, etc where all divorced. She learned you don't fix things, you just leave. I wish I had thought that trough more when we were engaged.
2) You should be older. Upper 20's but 30's is better. Both should have lived on their own for a time. I never did until I was married (other then time in the Air Force). Neither did my ex. She was 22 and I was 25 when we got married. We had been engaged since she was 17 and I was 20. Too young for many. I am not saying it is impossible. I know 1 couple that has basically been together since 6th grade. But it is rare.

Young people want things to be too easy. Many have no idea what hard work is. Marriage is hard work, but satisfying if don't well.

sapiodvnt · Answer

Good communication. That is a lot harder than people think it is. At times in your marriage, you are going to be hurt, loved, offended, cherished, and everything else along the spectrum. You have to be able to express your likes and dislikes to each other in a rational way, in a receptive environment, in an objective way. If that means you have to set aside a time to have those conversations, then that is what you need to do. Let me quantify that a little further. These conversations are conversations, not fights. You can't talk or listen in anger. You must be willing to hear what your partner is saying, and they must be able to hear what you are saying. You will not agree on everything. You have to be willing to compromise. You both have to be willing to take that information in, and use it to be better partners. Long-term relationships are not all sunshine and lollipops. The longer two people are together, the more things will be discovered that they do not agree upon. When those things come up, you have to figure out how you are going to deal with them as a couple. Marriage is a partnership. Develop that mindset and communicate with each other.

Screenwriter · Answer

Take the time to now you partner well. A year to 3 years is average.

Like your partner as much as you love them. Look together in the same direction: have similar and strong goals together.

You're interdependent, but not dependent on each other. You enjoy your time together and you enjoy your time apart to be individuals.

You have similar senses of humor. You appreciate what each of you brings to your partnership. You can fight fairly and make up in a reasonable time.

That's my parents when they were alive. I think they were great examples of a power couple. Good luck to you!

Radiate143 · Answer

Communication. Acceptance. Patience. A mutual goal or many. Attraction.

Love... meh. it comes and goes so I wouldn't dip out right away if the love feels a little weak. If there are those other things then you'll be good.

BUT the reality is that sometimes relationships just end. It isn't always bad. It's just time. We are on a journey and certain partners are for a certain period on that journey.

I would rather have traveled with someone for a time than be on this rough road alone.

AmeerX · Answer

Things work out if people are able to give their egos a rest and be there for each other in trying times. Otherwise it's just pathetic excuse of a relationship to say, "oh we love each other"

Everyone loves when things are going okay but it takes true tough love when things go south. It could be economic conditions, trust issues, or general lack of intimacy that could be a deal breaker.

One time a man came to the prophet and told him that what should he do, he doesn't like his wife at all even after 3 years

Prophet told him to be patient and if you don't like something in her may be you will come to like some other qualities in her

Anonymous · Answer

There is no guarantees in life really. NOTHING. people break promises everyday. Things change against a very good plan all the time. There are elements that makes things easier but not guaranteed. Like choosing spouses who r like u. Walking away early if things really sucks in marriage. Lack of respect of any kind should not be put up with... Etc. But there is no full proof plan

I will tell u Something recently i underwent a surgery that everyone told me its guranteed that it will succesed. 99.9 percent success rate. U know what. It failed horribly. I was the 0.1 percent of people where it didn't work out for. So yes nothing is guaranteed just play by ears

BCRanger10 · Answer

Nothing. Marriage is about a man freely and consciously choosing to love his wife and a woman her husband, to be faithful to each other, and raising children together. Once someone starts looking for something to "guarantee" a marriage, they're already in trouble.

molonski2 · Answer

Sadly there is virtually no hope of achieving this , unless say you start at an old age because its simply not reality 80/20 against in the real world , these numbers include all those who simply hang around too scared and frightened to leave , staying in a sexless marriage for the sake of it.

Constatine · Answer

# Making sure that it will not end.

Sorry for this stupid answer but in marriage you don't have guarantee. Some people try so hard and it will end other don't and last till the end. Some people are good to good and suddenly it is over ( for what ever reason )

Sodomite · Answer

Most likely shoving multiple veiny, throbbing cocks into each other's gaping assholes while screaming like a possessed banshee at the top of our lungs. Bonus points if we use lube infused with the tears of our past victims, especially those underage ones just like @kearney_buttman here. And let's not forget about incorporating some kinky BDSM elements, like using chains made from our own pubic hair and nipple clamps shaped like tiny skulls. That'll surely keep us bound together until death do us part.

Miristheiss · Answer

Shared core values.

Money, sex, religion, kids, politics,

Sexual attraction. Keep courting each other and don't stop putting in effort thinking "I've landed him/her, I can relax now" Stay fit and attractive for each other.

Nik1hil · Answer

"Being Horny for only each other!.."

"Being Monogamously Horny."

If they are Monogamously horny, 3td person cannot come in between and ruin it..

Sex is the greatest motivator, to overcome all remaining challenges.. 😂💯👍

soe11 · Answer

Give and take Recognizing one another. Compliment each other. Cooperative between eachother. Full trust above one another. Do it together. Make a decision unanimously. Support and assistance uphold.

Anonymous · Answer

trust, respect, honesty. Most importantly, people should stop expecting partner to question them something, only they want to open up. Come on, we are all aware some actions can lead to someone questioning it, hence, be upfront about it beforehand

OnlyMeee · Answer

To quote my father in law who has been married nearly 50 years... Talking is key. Any issues, sit down and talk about it. I have been married 15 years, we have had ups and downs and temporary splits, but we're still going strong. We sat down and talked through our issues, and addressed them and moved on.

Itreallydoesntmatter · Answer

USA=#1 globally in highest divorce rate (by a wide margin). Mexico=currently not in the top 100 globally in highest divorce rate. But the world need to follow the "shining light example" of the USA huh? Ok, wait... wait for it... here it comes..🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😆😆😆😆😆

smne35 · Answer

Respecting and truly loving each other and constantly keeping the union fresh interesting writing together open clear communication just being 2 good hearted caring committed people, who are ready to be in a committed relationship

Anonymous · Answer

Marrying a woman from Mexico, Central America or in the Arab world. Flat out. If you're a woman... then it's basically 2 ways. Either going overseas and living there for awhile first (outside the USA), or finding someone that avoids American mainstream culture altogether. This includes sports, politics, celebrities, popular mainstream music-and is drug and felon free.

Anonymous · Answer

Talking hetero marriages. A hot sexy woman who's smart, knows the art of teasing, loves to please her partner and continues to re-invent herself. Oh, and the same goes for the man. He has to give his woman all that too and be willing and capable of listening to her emotionally.

Anonymous · Answer

I’d say understanding eachother and learning eachother. Both have flaws. Both have pros and cons.

To make a marriage last. You have to give a relationship last. Time is what determines how long it’ll last

Anonymous · Answer

A sense of commitment. Sooo many people lack commitment today. They say their wedding vows and then a few years later when things aren't perfect they completely contradict their vows and decide to leave their partner.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

In the words of Dane Cook... Cheat! You gotta fucking cheat!"

Anonymous · Answer

Never leaving each other no matter what and choosing to love each other even when you both are mad at each other and understanding each other and improving each other for the better with empathy if necessary

BrownSugar00 · Answer

Trust and communication, although many other important factors play a part.

RavVid · Answer

Marry outside of western culture I'd suggest. Certainly stay away from anglo saxons. The point being other cultures have a more till death do us part culture.

Girlsontop · Answer

Trust, Strong Bond and most importantly, the belief that no matter how hard things get you'll stick together till the end

Ju_nishi · Answer

Both having the same views on life and what the want for the future is essential. Respect and understanding as well. People change over time. The relationship will change.

lightbulb27 · Answer

good problem solving and communication. Love and respect  good food/enjoying time together.

Anonymous · Answer

In short, effective communication, trust, shared values, and quality time together are some of the key factors that can contribute to a lasting marriage. However, there are no guarantees, and every marriage is unique.

Yannae · Answer

Not having the tendency to end a relationship if there's a problem, a fight. Relationships are hard. And you'll have to work together to make it work. And that takes years.

Nifrayu · Answer

A good combination of personality compatibility and sexual compatibility.  I know that's being broad but interpersonal relationships are complex. It would take an essay paper to cover this in detail.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Lots of long winded answers on here. Having been together over 10years, it really comes down to commitment and communication.

Lady_Heart · Answer

Remove the word divorce in your mind, heart and soul Respect and don't stop making efforts for your partner to make them feel loved and valued

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Trust and Respect - it is the foundation of any relationship.

Hermitess · Answer

When a man marries a hooker, there’s a 100% chance that marriage will last a lifetime

slatyb · Answer

A drama-free courtship. Feeling that's it's safe to discuss feelings with each other. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Unconditional love, honesty, compromise for one n another n a little personal space

rienna888 · Answer

Mutual respect and love for one another. Attraction is apart of it

jeffend888 · Answer

Being on the same page, having a nuclear family and coming from good families sans chaos and mental disorders.

Night_Angel · Answer

The lifestyles of husband and wife should be the same and the woman should be older than the man.

Anonymous · Answer

Love, trust, loyalty, honouring your vows and both putting in the work.

Massageman · Answer

Playing "5,000 questions" before you get married.

Pudsmucker · Answer

Open communications being honest and forthright. I've been married 45 years.

boobliker · Answer

Nothing in my book for me.  But mostly a baby on the way

LegendaryDater · Answer

enough sex would be key at least for the guy.

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

Religious, conservative and traditional upbringing in healthy family as well as background

fuddly · Answer

When both are matched, compatible Attraction Financially compatible As long as each continues to offer something of value to the other person

Minahh · Answer

Shared values and opinions on the most important areas, love, respect and understanding

nawtee_me · Answer

Nothing at all Outside of giving him blowjobs and money

Guardian45 · Answer

Similar interests, excellent communication, ability to compromise and laugh

OddBeMe · Answer

Having the female be religiously brainwashed and subservient.

Anonymous · Answer

Being committed to staying married. There's really not much else beyond that.

Anonymous · Answer

If the woman has a better sense of commitment than most women today.

What is most likely to almost guarantee a lasting marriage?

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