Is lifelong commitment important in marriage?

[AviatorTom]

There is a similar post Should marriage really be a lifelong commitment forever? where I tried to post an opinion, but when I hit Send It, I discovered that the poster had blocked me.

This is an important question, so I decided to post a similar question, and start with the opinion I would have made to the other question... if I hadn't been blocked.

Here's my opinion on marriage and lifelong commitment:

I've been married to two women, one for 20+ years before an amicable divorce, and my current wife, 9 years and counting.

I entered both marriages with the intent and commitment of it being a lifelong thing. My first marriage didn't last that long. I am committed to my current wife, and plan to stay married to her "until death us do part".

I would not want to change the lifelong commitment in marriage. Marriage is a serious undertaking involving two people, and it's important for each to be committed to each other, and to the marriage. It would not be good for people to get married without that commitment, thinking that the marriage will likely end some day.

What do you think? Is a lifelong commitment important in marriage?

[sage2021]

I believe that it should be a life long commitment and to go into the marriage with that intention.

However, it's very hard these days to find someone who wants that type of commitment. They may say it's 'for forever' but in the back of their mind they know that they can get a divorce sometime if they want out.

People change with time. Their circumstances change as well. This could cause the marriage to be on shaky ground and then one day one of them decides that the marriage isn't working for them anymore.

It would be great to find someone who would commit till death do us part, but when you're young and get married, death might take 30-50+ years.

I just don't think that there are that many people willing to make that type of commitment these days.

However, Catholic people don't believe in divorce so then there's that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[jennifer_bloom]

I have met people who believe marriage is about passion and desire and that is not correct. Marriage is about building a family and lasting friendship bond with somebody who helps you and motivates you and gives you somebody to love other then yourself.

[Lliam]

The intention of lifetime commitment, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part is extremely important. Marriage is a solemn promise; a vow of honor that two people make to each other. Not only that, but they take the institution of marriage, itself, seriously.

Under those circumstances, they can quarrel at times; they can suffer economic setbacks and even tragedies, but they will remain committed to their union and work to safeguard each other's happiness and fulfillment out of love and respect.

I always considered marriage to be the most important decision I would ever make because, since it is forever, I had to be sure. I couldn't make a mistake.

[nolabels]

Yep, although my marriage of 32 years was, by any standards, pretty lousy, I stuck with her until she very recently passed from brain cancer.
I say that our marriage was lousy not out of bitterness, I'm just reporting the way it was.
I do complain about her sometimes on G@G.
I won't do that on this question.
I'm human.

She stuck with me, too.

The last two years with her, caring for her in her battle with cancer, have been the most fulfilling days of my life, by far.
I came to love her in a way I wouldn't have previously thought possible.

Yes, commitment is vastly important in marriage.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why get married if it's not a lifetime commitment?

[DishLady]

I’d say so. If the intent is marriage then that’s a lifer… and both parties know that.

[msc545]

I don't think there is such a thing as "lifelong commitment." I think there are things like lifelong denial and lifelong fantasy that are sometimes construed as being a commitment of some sort. I also think that the people that depend on such things for security are more likely than not going to find themselves on the wrong end of a separation or a divorce or unfaithfulness or all of the above at some point. The statistics that are available certainly suggest that these things are the case. I think going into a marriage, if one is inclined to do such a thing, demands a firm grasp on reality and a firm grasp on the possibilities. This is particularly true for men.

[Nestle1984]

Yes regardless if you make a commitment with you being of sound mind and you speak a voew of turth in that moment with the knowledge and understanding its for ever with you own mouth. Then YES! And if you even come one hair short of that. Then dont to it. Most people do it for the experience. Then when it over... its really over. Like i say "grow up before you start making grow up discussions." Just because you like in the mirror and see a grown up and you arw treated sometimes like a grown up. Does not make you one.

[NathanDavis]

as far as I know... it's not a monthly subscription model... lol

[AviatorTom]

@NathanDavis It might be kinda interesting to have a Spouse of the Month club. 😏

[NathanDavis]

I think they have that at Maralago...

[DexWest]

If it’s not, then why even get married. I told my husband the only way he’s leaving is in a body bag. We fight, scream, etc, but we just hit our 10 year anniversary. Whenever he gets tired of my, I suggest he spend a month stateside. (I’m currently stationed OCONUS) After about 3 weeks, he’s begging me to fly him back early. Works every time.

[BCRanger10]

Yes. You have to have that intent and mindset for marriage, otherwise you're inviting trouble. This, consequently, is a key reason why I oppose prenups.

[msc545]

There are many reasons not to get married. There are also many reasons not to get prenup but the primary reason is that it's a waste of money and it doesn't work since any judge who doesn't like it can overturn it it just with a tap of a gavel. The judges that do that are mostly the ones that are trying to give the women even more of your money. Think about that.

[AngryCarl3]

I used to think so, but maybe a fixed term contract would be more realistic?

[AviatorTom]

@AngryCarl3 It's been suggested to have a renewable contract with a 5-year term. Not sure how well that would work, but it would make divorce extinct... one would have to stay married for at least 5-year chunks. Instead of divorce, the couple simply would not renew the contract, and either one could decide to do that.

[LazerBean]

Totally agree, that is one of the main points of marriage.

[DryGermanGuy]

If that's not both persons' common goal, why even marry?

[Nikki1989]

Of course. Without it, why get married in the first place?

[Iron_Man]

It’s a very serious lifetime commitment. Knowing that you can never masturbate to another woman ever again or sleep with another woman, that’s it for life

[Iron_Man]

Did Poppy block you? You can’t trust her? She is very disrespectful and is nothing but a clown shock value treatment

[CherryLove007]

when your hormones are happening right from your partner then she will be on your mind and not another woman

[Iron_Man]

@CherryLove007 yes

[Grilo]

It should be life long otherwise the girl is just using you for money at the end

[AviatorTom]

@Grilo If a woman uses a man for money, isn't that called prostitution, which is illegal in most US states?

[AgentG111]

Depends on the humans involved in the contract or what they have agreed to.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If forever is not your intent going into it you should not even be considering marriage, you're not ready for it.

[exitseven]

If the two participants do not go into it with the intention of it being a lifetime commitment it will fail.

[slatyb]

Everything about a marriage depends on what the partners agreed to.

[Shiprex]

If people could opt out of vows it's kinda demeaning of the value of those vows

[MrChinaski]

You should definitely go into it as a lifelong commitment. Sometimes things change.

[Massageman]

Yes it is. It was about 50 years ago, when we got married.

[Twalli]

You shouldn't marry without the intent of death ending it.

[Xawyx-2]

Yes, I think it is.

[Jennz6]

Just need time to figure it all out

[Jeff51]

Yes if not then why get married

[Mike_Hum]

It's kinda the point

[fish5505_87]

🤔, Hymmm.

[jimmy2]

Yes it is