Don’t have sex with boyfriend anymore?

[Anonymous]

I haven’t had sex with my boyfriend for about 4 months and I don’t let him anywhere near me when we are together he’s getting abit annoyed now because I don’t even show physical touch too. He goes he can’t be with someone who does not show affection like that..

i know myself deep inside it isn’t nothing horrible the way he’s thinking because I know I can be cold myself can anyone help me out how I can change this and be for affectionate?

[Anonymous]

There is a time to withhold sex and there is a time to join together in sex. Frequent denial of sex and intimacy often leads to the other person feeling rejected. I know you don’t mean him any harm, but he may be feeling like you don’t want him, and that is causing him frustration. Is there a reason you don’t want to be intimate with your boyfriend?

[WaterIsland]

I think the first question you have to ask yourself is why do you think you’ve changed? Is there something about the relationship you’re upset about? It sounds to me like there is something more going on here that you need to address.

[Asker]

Tbh I’ve not changed it’s just something I don’t like and also maybe because I don’t feel close to him but then again I don’t know allow him close to me emotionally

[WaterIsland]

What is something you don’t like? If you don’t feel close to him, do you not like him? Maybe it’s not the right relationship for you.

[Asker]

I don’t like we don’t really communicate throughout the day but he works I don’t even get any good morning messages or anything but he rings me after work.. Do you think that’s normal? Maybe it’s something I need to work on

[WaterIsland]

That really depends on his job. The fact he calls you right after work tells me you’re on his mind tho and that he cares about you. As for good morning messages, maybe tell him that you’d appreciate that.

Overall I think his behavior there is completely normal tho.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for giving me reassurance xxx

[WaterIsland]

Of course. Glad I can try to help. One more tip to consider. The relationships that last the longest, have a strong balance of togetherness and alone time. It’s extremely healthy in a relationship to have your own life away from your partner. I’m not saying always. But use the time he’s at work, to further yourself. Overtime it’ll make the time you spend together better and more fulfilling. Passion in sparks is so much better than a constant. So don’t be worried about him being busy or not texting. Use that time to focus on yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you so much I really needed to hear this 💗💗💗 god bless you always

[SquareWave]

lol You can bet he'll be getting laid elsewhere if he's hung in there this long. Obviously you're not attracted to him, so stop calling him a boyfriend.

[abc3643]

Start drinking alcohol.
The alcohol will lower your inhibitions and get you hornier so that you will be more willing to do it.
At the same time, are you a mean drunk or a loving one? If you are a mean drunk, you might not want to do this.

[Asker]

I don’t drink alcohol tbh I don’t like it 😫

[abc3643]

Well, honey, I hate being this crass, but if you don't start showing some affection and start putting out a bit more, you will lose him in every sense of that phrase.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely you are right and tbh I have kind of lost him but I said go him come over and I will show him on Friday how much he means to me because he says I make him feel like he needs to beg me and chase me

[abc3643]

" he says I make him feel like he needs to beg me and chase me"

Yeah, that gets old fast.

Something important to understand about males:
They will emotionally be invested in something if they see a chance - even if it is remote - of success or winning. Once a male convinces himself that it is a lost cause, he will immediately disengage because emotional energy and other resources are better spent on those quests and battles in life that he believes that he still believes that he can win.

[Asker]

So do you think if I show him he can win me? There’s a chance because I am planning on sleeping with him on Friday..

Sorry I’m dumb I need it’s in basics lol

[slatyb]

I'm amazed you still have a boyfriend. Do you want to have a boyfriend! Why? Have you considered counseling?

[Asker]

😂😂 the man loves me lol! But he’s has enough of the bullshit as he’s told me so I told him on Friday come to mine and I will show him how much he means to me

[Anonymous]

Nope. Nobody can fix the goblins in your head but you.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Loads of therapy or get used to being alone.

[Luckycharms12]

Ya great idea to lose boyfriend

[Staximus]

When is the last time you kissed him?

[Asker]

I do kiss him but then I be like stop in the middle of it 😂 I don’t know why it’s because I’m not used to affectionate in my household

[Staximus]

If you don't feel attracted to him then the magic is over

[Asker]

Yeah true tbh but the thing is I do feel attracted to him I think it’s when I have sex I get attached to quick and I be waiting all day for a message the next day

[In_Trance]

What the hell are you even doing

[Asker]

Just kissing and cuddling lol

[In_Trance]

Lame

[Asker]

Lol definitely help a sis out. 🥲