Why is falling for another human one of the worst things you can do?

[BlueEyeSky]

i have been with this woman for around 8 years i love her, we have never cheated, we have a child life is hard but i do my best i would die protecting my family i give my all for my family and i love family life i feel i have we have made something great, well i thought we did i would say 98% of the relationship is good we clash but rarely, we are all flawed humans right, before i met her my life was top tier i was on 100k pounds a year i had savings i had my shit together life was easy no stress, over the years I've made sacrifices which has kind of crippled me financially i was ok with it because i thought the family we had is worth it,

she told me she bored of the relationship, keep in mind we are engaged was going to get married in 2 years anyways she told me that and a friend of mine saw her on tinder she never told me anything i confronted her and she said i swear to god she told me her feelings changed and she's just talking to me people but its very plutonic and she confused she said that she miss the excitement that we had in the start and everything is stale, honestly that broke me i gave everything to this woman, i have always been there I've always listen helped did everything i could to make her happy and now i feel like i won't see my son everyday i won't see her and i do love her i done everything i could i swear to god i tried soo hard and i never let my self go i always looked after myself i would even clean the house some weekend but mostly we cleaned together we have dates every week holidays when my son is off school

now she's saying she love me but as friends and hope we can be friends she said that the excitement in the start is gone and there is no butterfly's and that she don't love me in that way she never told me any of this before

i regret meeting this woman i never wanted a broken family i don't know who she is now she changed in the relationship, i can never think of dating or loving someone again it terrifies me

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that's rough. Nobody deserves to get strung along like that after pouring their all into a relationship.

From what you said it really seems like you did everything right on your end - supported her, cared for the fam, was a loyal partner. It's messed up she'd turn around and say the spark is gone out of nowhere.

To be honest it sounds like she may have some personal issues she needs to work out on her own. For her to go chasing "excitement" again so fast, that's not really about you at all, you feel me? People like that will never be satisfied for long.

At the end of the day you've gotta do right by yourself now. Try not to waste time resenting her or what could've been - that road only leads to more hurt.

Focus on your son and staying strong for him through this change. In time you'll heal and may even meet someone who appreciates you for who you are.

Don't lose faith in love just yet. Once the dust settles you'll see clearly how to move forward from here. Keep your head up bro - better days are ahead.

[BlueEyeSky]

Thanks man I'm. jusy hurt at moment but time heals, and I know I can never understand women she wanted family life got it and well you

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah dude, that hurt is totally understandable. Breakups suck no matter what, but after giving so much to build a family it's extra painful. Just let yourself feel what you're feeling for now - it's okay to be hurt.

As for not understanding women, don't even worry about that! They're complicated for sure. Who knows what was really going through her head. All you can do is accept that you may never get all the answers, as hard as that is.

Just keep reminding yourself that this says nothing about your value as a person or partner. Someday when you're ready to start dating again, there will be girls who see what a great guy you are. You've already proven you can commit and do right by someone, so don't lose that part of you.

Keep your chin up man. Stay strong for your kid and do things that make you happy. In time the hurt won't feel so fresh. You got this!

[BlueEyeSky]

thank you, you helped me a bit i can't lie i will do my best for my son one day i might date again but for now i just got to look after me and my boy when i can

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, just trying to help how I can. It's good you're focusing on your son, he needs you. And definitely make sure to look out for yourself too - your wellbeing is important. Spending time with your friends and doing things you enjoy will help lift your mood.

And there's no rush to date again, you're right to take time for yourself first. When you're ready down the line it'll be easier to meet someone new. But for now just stay strong for your kid and know that it does get easier with time. You seem like a good guy who gave it your all, so don't blame yourself either. Keep your head high!

[Anonymous]

I feel for you man this is a very common tale now-a-days with women. I can't imagine ever trusting a woman enough to marry her. I've just seen too much with women. I know I can love her to the ends of the earth, but I really doubt that love will be returned. It'll be very conditional, and she'll stop when she gets bored.

[BlueEyeSky]

I agree with you it's because we men are the romantics we love truly while women well my ex loved me at conditionally

[Nikki1989]

Sadly, that is a part of life for some people. Somehow something went wrong and it has now come to this. However, saying it is one of the worst things is very weak.

[BlueEyeSky]

It's not weak It's the truth, putting time and effort into another human is a waste of time

[Anonymous]

Because it gives them a loaded gun, and it's pointing at you every minute of every day. You're at her mercy. I won't do that... they haven't proven to be worth ANYWHERE NEAR the level of trust that I'd give a fellow soldier in combat. Some cultures are better than others, admittedly, but in the USA now, you'd have to be 10 different kinds of stupid to do that. Or just blind and deaf. That's suicidal now.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Its not, its one of the best things one can do, but only if they are an actual match, mentally and physically.

[BlueEyeSky]

that is next to impossible to find in this day

[TheSpaceGnome]

My version of a perfect match is actually more common than it ever was.

But still rare.

[jogeb907433]

Falling in love is an evolutionary trap for people to reproduce.

[BlueEyeSky]

I've never seen it that way but yes I agree

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry to hear that