Is my new boyfriend her baby daddy?

[Anonymous]

I'm dating a guy. His ex girlfriend is married & have 2 year old baby. My concern is: The baby looks like my boyfriend.

I don't want to look crazy, how can I brought this up? Am I being paranoid?

[Finchie40]

Ask him why that baby looks like him? And be straight forward to him and tell him to be honest with you , don’t yell or scream at him just calmly have a sit down talk with him , sadly most people are scared to be honest , because they are afraid of the consequences that might occur if they were actually honest ,, and sadly that shows what type of person they actually are , So the ball is in your court at this time , He can either be honest with you or continue lying to you , but the ball is in your court and you can decide if you want to continue dating him or not , depending on how he responds to your question, and it comes down to whether you trust him or not , That’s something only you can decide , if he chooses to continue lying to you then that’s something he has to live with knowing he is a liar , and eventually the truth will shine and that’s when you are best to walk away , You also have a right to contact his ex to see if that kid is his. or not if you feel his answer wasn’t good enough , just don’t assume , most people assume the worst case scenario’s when really they have nothing to worry about , basically making a mountain out of a mole hole , so just have a nice sit down talk with him and address your feelings of concern and tell him the truth that he resembles that child. You don’t have to yell or scream , just calmly talk to him and be honest , what he chooses to do is on him , and he will suffer the consequences of his own actions.

[Asker]

1- She shows off "happy family" vibes with her husband on social media. She won't admit it.

2- My boyfriend won't admit it. She has husband + the baby has a daddy (fake or real) Why he'd get trouble + responsibility?

3-I can't ask her because I don't want to look crazy or unhappy with my boyfriend.

[Finchie40]

Then I guess your best bet is to make your boyfriend prove it to you that he is not the father , I agree it’s fucked up if your boyfriend is the father of that kid and he doesn’t want any parts of it and lying to you about it and it’s fucked up if his ex is covering up that fact and lying to her husband ‘s face saying he is the father when really he isn’t , so that makes her just as bad as your boyfriend if that’s the case, So it comes down to whether they both want to keep that a secret for the rest of their lives and live a complete lie , or be honest about it , Sadly a lot of people are just selfish and do what they feel is best for themselves without considering their partner’s feelings what so ever. So it’s your decision if you want to stay in a relationship with someone that you feel is lying to your face and not telling you the truth , if I feel a partner is lying to me , and they can’t prove to me the truth , that they are not lying , then that’s a relationship I would really reconsider , mainly because that is going to be sitting on your chest for a veery long time if your partner doesn’t prove to you that they are being honest with you, people
Like that don’t deserve anyone, you have every right to know the truth whether you are right or wrong , A loving partner will prove to you that they aren’t lying to you, they won’t hesitate on making things better if they truly loved and valued you , Tell him you want a DNA test to prove it if he gives you short answers , if he doesn’t follow through than your best bet is to dump his ass

[madhatters4]

i don't know if you are being paranoid but i dont thin kyou can just assume the kid is his. were they together when the kid would've been conceived? that's the first question to answer. if yes, then you can maybe ask some other questions but even if they were together doesn't necessarily mean the kid is his.

[midnightmoon05]

You call him boyfriend. how much do you know the guy? Met his friends? Family? Been to his place? If non have established … who are you to him? And why do you care about the ex?

[Asker]

I love him I want to know if he's still in love with his ex, if he fucked his ex while she's married?

[midnightmoon05]

You didn’t answer my questions. 🤦‍♀️. So what if you love him…. who are you to him? Can you answer that?

[Asker]

His new girlfriend?

[midnightmoon05]

Those are words!!! In what ways is he making yiu his girlfriend?
Met his family? Friends? been to his place? How often? How long have you know him?

[WhitneySnow]

Just ask him. If it’s his kid they’re not both gonna lie.

[RavVid]

His ex girlfriend got married after they broke up or she was his girlfriend whilst married to someone else. The later is too complicated so I hope option 1.

When did they break up? More than 2 yr 9 months ago? Why not just ask? Some time exes have sex after they break up.

[Asker]

They broke up 4 years ago but my concern if they have sex after they break up

[RavVid]

It is perfectly possible and does happen. What concerns you most? While it could be a few things I suspect that it is because you are out of the loop and there seems to be a dirty secret here.

The child might be your boyfriend's when it ought to be his exes husband's child and they got this nasty secret between them as to paternity of the child.

I think you should be concerned. People who cheat and deceive will end up doing it to you - they just haven't round to it is all. But they will get around to it eventually.

So what I think you should do is calmly ask your boyfriend if he is the father of the child since he looks so much alike. Now there is no easy way to tell if a person is lying or telling the truth.

You are the judge and the jury on this - if you smell a rat act on it. Bar DNA tests you will never have definite proof and will need to make a judgement call.

[Asker]

Baby is HER baby. I cannot ask for DNA test from her.

[RavVid]

No you certainly can't get DNA tests. That is why I said you are judge and jury. The lounge room is not a court of law. An innocent partner denies wrongdoing. A guilty partner denies wrongdoing. Worse a liar is practiced in lying so they learn to be experienced in convincing lies.

If it is his baby then whilst he might not have technically cheated he was willing to participate in cheating. It would not then be a big step to cheat on you, if you see the immoral progression.

The likelihood if it is his baby then he will deny it. If it isn't then he will deny it. At the same time you have the evidence before your eyes. That might burn you up.

I think you should discuss but make your decision on what you see as the probabilities and whether that is a person you want to be with. As judge and jury.

[DiegoO]

🤦... Keep it single, hun. If you can't trust your partner the relation is already in danger, in the process of going for worst: a deep disfuntion.

The worst thing is not to end a relationship, but trying to keep it up, like trying to save a sinking boat.

Is not the end of the world if you can't trust him anymore.

[boggboss]

Its impossible to bring this up and not look crazy how do u even know what the baby looks like please tell me u know her irl and didn't go searching online

[Asker]

She has tons of photos on IG& FB. So I can see that baby looks like my boyfriend

[boggboss]

And why was u on her insta looking at her picks

[Asker]

This is not the question. Am I being paranoid or should I bring this up?

[boggboss]

The reason it matters is it all adds up to show how insecure and paranoid u are being if u bring this up he will ask these questions if this is the best answer u have for me for him it will be a red flag

[boggboss]

Here is the issue in what situation do u see asking this question and this relationship working out postivly asking the question itself will show u don't trust him and show u are a paranoid girl and if he is the dad and is playing u for a fool he would simply say no he isn't the dad and then all u could do is believe him anyway so how does asking this help u

[Asker]

Being objective, her baby exactly looks like my boyfriend rather than her husband.

[boggboss]

If u think this foe a fact end the relationship as its impossible ti know if it is or isn't from asking this and will cause drama over giving u the answer u are looking for

[boggboss]

Again what response would u be happy with if u asked this question

[Asker]

Baby is blue eyed, blonde-ginger hair. Her husband is 100% brunette, black hair black eyes. My boyfriend is blue eyed/blonde Irish.

[boggboss]

You telling me this means nothing to me as I dont know what the women looks like or the husbands family so again if u ask this question what answer would u be happy with

[Asker]

That's my problem. Because I KNOW asking him won't change anything. Of course he will deny. But I'm uncomfortable, I don't know what to do.

If he'd convinced me he hates her I'd be happy. If he doesn't love her at all. But he still keep the photos with her and he didn't say anything bad about her. This eats me up.

[Asker]

My boyfriend still have photos with her + He doesn't say anything bad about her. I love him but THIS EATS ME UP

[boggboss]

So end things even if its nit his baby clearly their are other issues here u are not able to fix which is leading to u acting crazy the relationship is doomed

[Jamie05rhs]

"Because I KNOW asking him won't change anything. Of course he will deny."
This right here tells us that you already know he's a person of poor character. You already know that he is untrustworthy and dishonest.
So that's a clue.
Break up with him.
You don't need his ghetto ass.

[Jamie05rhs]

And I agree with @boggboss.

[007kingifrit]

you know what would start to help you associate with less low quality people? proper English. "his ex girlfriend is married and have 2 year old baby" no, and SHE has a two year old baby, or and HAS a 2 year old baby

talk ghetto and only ghetto people will deal with you

[Asker]

I am European. English is not my first language

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

English might not be her first language… Has it ever come across to your mind that not everyone is a native English speaker?

[Inbox]

@Asker There are people all over the world that look like each other, but are not related in any way.

[integrale77]

Just straight out ask him say something like "your ex's son resembles you is there something I should know"

[m1tch3ll]

who gives a shit if he's the dad, be the stepmum it ain't hard. i understand the probable insecurity because he had a child with another girl but you can't expect a married couple not to try for a kid, accept that that kid isn't from your vagina and move on, he gets custody of the kid for a week every second week? (for example) great! make sure that kid can go back to baby mum and tell her how wonderful theyre treated when at baby dads house with a new stepmum

[m1tch3ll]

i reckon if you're not sure if you're ready to take on a parental role (step parents do count), tell him, if your unsure if the baby is his or not, ask him, express concerns but dont cut him off, tell him you dk how you feel about the fact that there's already a kid involved in the relationship (I don't know how the situation is im just going off of assumption) and tell him you'll give it a go and try your absolute best, he’s definitely tryna find the right girl to accept HIS child and welcome HIS child, go into his shoes, say you married a bloke and you had a kid and baby daddy left, would you rather a new man that is paranoid all because it is your ex husbands kid and doesn't know how they feel about a parental role, or would you rather a man who welcomes that kid and to ensure that you and the kid are comfortable even if they dont know if thats what they wanna do so early into the relationship but they are still happy to give it a shot?

[m1tch3ll]

nvm i read the thing wrong i thought you were uncertain about a past marriage, ignore what i said, I don't know how to delete comments

[midnightmoon05]

I’m curious if she is capable of answering a few basic questions… otherwise she is a side chick

[Asker]

@midnightmoon05 SHE HAS A HUSBAND lol how can I be the side chick? He has no relationship with her now. We just started dating.

[Asker]

SHE HAS OWN HUSBAND. BABY CALLS HIM DADDY. Not my boyfriend.

[midnightmoon05]

But you are unable to answer the other questions… as of now you are a girlfriend by words… not by actions.
You know my first grade students can answer these simple questions…if you do t have the intelligence to do so.. what qualifies you as a girlfriend material?
Those important questions were asked over 2 rs. ago. Still waiting.
I m down with the flu and home all day.. sooo… anything… prove that he treats you like a girlfriend by actions.

[midnightmoon05]

Ok.. I get that. The baby and other women is not an issue if his action is showing you that you are a girlfriend.
What actions has he make you his girlfriend?

[spartan55]

If you have any brains at all you will let the topic be brought up to you.

[spartan55]

I think you should call in Maury Povich on this one.

[Drumlin2001]

It says a lot about a person prepared to abandon a child. I'd ask him. If there's any chance it's his he should find out and step up

[Anonymous]

you haven't asked him if he has kids? ? ? like? what are you doing?

[RedInnocent68]

Could be, but the kids are still young. It’s legit to ask him.

[provokeesmokee]

Just straight up ask him.

[exitseven]

Does this guy know where babies come from?

[DreamLife7]

You need therapy