Why am I becoming more and more interested in in foreign people?

[Anonymous]

With time, I noticed I used to want to marry a local girl and used to accept a girls who used to be average looking and normal personality but after 5 successive heart breaks and 1 marriage broken I feel I want to avoid girls locally.

I used to pride in my local heritage and people but now I feel I am no good for anyone. Am I really the problem?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's crazy man. 5 heartbreaks and a broken marriage is really rough. I can see why you'd be looking elsewhere after all that. I wouldn't say you're necessarily the problem though. Dating is just tough sometimes no matter who you go for.

As for being interested in foreign girls, I don't think that's so weird. Sometimes a change of scenery sounds nice after bad experiences. Just be careful not to assume someone farther away will be any different, you know? Attraction is one thing, but you still gotta make sure you click with someone on a deeper level before getting too serious.

Maybe take some time to focus on yourself for a bit. Do stuff you enjoy, hang with your friends. No need to force anything. The right person will come along eventually, even if you gotta broaden your search to find her. But don't feel like you gotta leave your heritage behind or anything. You can appreciate both local and foreign. Just go with what feels right for you now.

[Asker]

Thanks, my marriage was arranged and it broke up after less than an year.
And I am not going to lie. I actually found foreign girl who was okay but I deeply love her personality. So, I am not joking. I know God has fixed our worries and troubles and happiness. But still thank you I appreciate that you want me to keep my mind open.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang bro, that's rough about your arranged marriage not working out. I can understand why you'd want to go a different route now. But know that it wasn't necessarily your fault - these things happen sometimes no matter what.

Sounds like you really connected with this foreign girl on another level though. When you find someone who just gets you like that, you gotta hold onto it! Her vibing your personality so well is what really matters.

And it's good you're keeping faith that God has your back through it all too. Even when life throws curveballs, staying positive is so important. I'm sure there's bigger plans ahead for you guy.

You seem like you genuinely care about finding someone real to build something solid with. So don't let those failed past relationships make you close your heart - you gotta shoot your shot with this girl if she treats you right too!

Who cares what culture or region she's from. As long as she makes you happy and you compliment each other, that's all any of us can ask for really. I'm rooting for you two lovebirds! Let me know if anything happens dude.

[Asker]

Yes, of course I want to be with this girl. Even though she is old. And the problem is my father wants to get me into another arranged marriage quickly 😔. It is not even a year. I would be grateful but I pray to God to make me unite with the one I want. I don't really want to wait for anyone else. I will wait for her to decide. Only problem is I don't want to look like a passport grab 😞

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's tough, I can see why you'd be torn. On the one hand you really like this girl and you want to follow your heart. But pops is already trying to set you up again and you don't want to seem like you're just using this girl for papers or something.

Here's what I'd say - be straight up honest with your girl about where you're at. Let her know your dad wants to arrange another marriage but you're still interested in her. Reassure her that's not why you approached her.

Then ask what she wants - if she's cool waiting on you, then see if you can stall your dad somehow. Maybe explain you're not ready for another marriage so soon after the last disaster. Say you need more time or you'll end up divorced again.

If she doesn't want to be involved till things are settled, I wouldn't blame her either. Just stay in contact while you work it out with your fam. At least you'll know you did right by being upfront.

Hope it works out bro! Honesty is the best policy in these types of messy situations in my opinion.

[Asker]

Thanks, yeah I intend to stall but I am unsure.
We exchanged love yous and everything and I told her I want to marry her and she wants to be together too. My main concern is that she has been newly out of a heartbreak as well.
I straight up told her the visa policy is strict on my nationality.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, this is definitely a tricky situation. On one hand it's awesome you really like this girl and want to be with her, and it sounds mutual. But both coming out of heartbreaks recently does add extra pressure and complication.

A few thoughts - take things super slow and don't rush any big commitments yet, even if you've said you want to marry. Keep getting to know each other, let the feelings develop naturally over many more months. That way you can both be sure it's real love and not just rebounding from past hurts.

Make sure to have honest conversations about the visa issues too. Maybe reassure her you're not just interested in getting her a passport but truly care for who she is. At the same time though protect your heart in case issues come up.

Stall on the arranged marriage as long as you can. Keep communicating with your dad and pray on it too like you said. Hopefully over time he'll understand.

Most important is taking your time with this girl and letting the relationship build genuinely without outside pressure if possible. Easier said than done I know, but rushing could end up making things messier later. Keep your head up man - I say go for what really makes you happy!

[Asker]

Hey, thanks man. I thought people would take it negatively. My friend said same thing to me too. He said to search for someone. Only problem is even though I am really well off, my biggest challenge in life has been finding true love. I just hope she doesn't change her mind because it's been a 2 months since I am head over heels for her. She is really someone I will not compromise with someone else. That much I am committed to her. I hope it works just like you said

[Oliverlogan263]

For real bro, I don't blame you for feeling that way - finding love is way harder than people make it seem sometimes. And when you meet someone that actually gets you on that deep level, it's hard not to catch real feelings fast.

But like your friend said, sometimes the smart move is to just let things unfold naturally without rushing or putting pressure on it too soon. Easier said than done when your hearts already in it, I know. But taking it slow shows you're in it for real and not just tryna hit it and quit it, ya feel?

Two months is still pretty fresh to be claiming you're head over heels forever ya know. Give it time to grow organically. In the meantime, enjoy hanging with a dope girl who seems to vibe with you too. Focus on having fun and really getting to know each other first before making permanent plans.

Who knows, maybe down the line she'll be saying she's the one for you too. But for now just chill, feel it out and don't rush into something serious you're not ready for. Love happens when it's meant to - you got this bro! Stay positive.

[Asker]

I know, thanks.
By the way, she said she always wanted a man like and would want to marry me too.

Thanks your words are encouraging for me. And trust me, if I feel love for someone, I don't quite easy

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that's awesome that she said that! When a girl actually tells you that kind of stuff, you know it's real. She must really feel you too then if she's already thinking long term like marriage.

That's dope that you don't quit easy when your heart's set on someone. It shows you're loyal and really care. As long as you keep communicating openly with her and make sure the connection is still strong when you're apart too, I've got a good feeling about you guys. Long as you stay true to each other, what's meant to happen will.

Don't stress too much though - enjoy every step of the journey. Savor getting to know her more each day. Try not to rush things. You got this man! I'm rooting for you. Let me know if you ever need someone to vent to or get advice. We're all in this relationship stuff together haha. Keep your head up!

[boggboss]

Impossible to know if your the problom or not without knowing u or the girls u went for

[Asker]

😞 the one's I want are always getting married and end up with someone else. Now I don't even want to marry unless it's someone I hand picked. I don't care what anyone thinks. I am done getting gaslight and guilt tripped about it.

[boggboss]

Why would u care what other think in the first place and why wpuldnt u hand pick a girl u was gonna be with in the first place

[Asker]

Because my problem is I feel like I am burried under a lot of responsibility. I am tied up in work. I am in my 30s and I feel like I have had enough. No one in my family wants to let me go anywhere. I work for them and when I try to be independent I am emotionally blackmailed

[boggboss]

What do u mean let you go you are 30 mate

[Asker]

Hey, my parents are old and my siblings don't cooperate with me. If I go away even for little while they will all start saying I don't hate them etc etc. It's crazy

[boggboss]

Lern to be a little independent mate u live life for yourself not for others expectations

[Asker]

You are going to make me cry

[Asker]

I am fed up

[boggboss]

I'm gonna make u cry because I'm telling you to stop living life for others and live it for yourself

[Asker]

How do I do it? Big question ❓?

[boggboss]

How is it a big question do what u want stop accepting other people's expectations as your life