Do you think it is so unfair to start out in a clean relationship then they become an alcoholic or drug user?

[sage2021]

[FunkyMonkee]

Sort of. I prefer she not use any of that but, if she has a drink every great once in a while, no big fat hairy deal. Same with smoking a joint on occasion. Anything harder than that, I don't think I wanna be associated with her as anything more than a good friend.
Madame Ex got it in her fat head, one day, that I was leaving her for my ex-GF and, when she went to work (as a waitress), she had ONE beer and got smashed out of her gourd!! It was the first time she ever drank. When she got home, I had to pour her into bed!! She got the yoff's and decided to sleep on the floor in the hall near the bathroom in case she had to have another technicolour yawn. Best I could do was set a large bowl of pretzels out next to her to help settle her stomach.

[aceleon]

yes and no

yes cuz you are losing something good

no because if not for the fun of it those people didn't start to be that way out of the blue for no reason ar all, clearly they have a problem they can't solve.

[NathanDavis]

it is unfortunate, yes...

I am not sure it would be about fair or unfair, life has never been fair to everyone...

[Likes2drive]

Yeah but hopefully they don’t start that or I probably wouldn’t be with them anymore

[sage2021]

@Likes2drive
See that's what happened to me. When I first met him, he'd smoke a joint probably whenever he could get his hands on then. He took opioids when he could afford them. I couldn't ever tell if he was high.
Then when he came back three years and was moving in with me, he told me he would quit the meth if he could move in. Well, he never even tried to stop. Said he didn't want to stop because he liked it. And you know the rest of the story - his death from Fentanyl poisoning two months ago. At least I don't have to deal with it anymore. It feels nice to have quiet again. ☮️

[Likes2drive]

It’s sad, but usually can’t do anything for them except send them to a clinic, but my stepfather has a friend that has the same problem and goes to a methadone clinic every day and did use fentanyl one time luckily didn’t die but he crashed his car into a wall

[ProbablyClueless]

I mean... if you're dating a recovering addict, you have to understand that that possibility is there. It comes with the territory. Fair or not, falling off the wagon is often the nature of the beast.

[Fuentes]

Yeah that's fucked up but that means u gotta find another

[slatyb]

Unfair? It's not "unfair". It's up to you whether to stay or leave. I would leave.

[Surely]

Depends on what might have triggered it.

[exitseven]

Yes , it definitely sucks.

[pickles77]

Why you making him drink like that 🤣