Maybe a stupid question, but… is it weird to send and receive night messages from an ex every single night?

[Banankaka04]

Well, my (ex) boyfriend decided he wanted to end our one year relationship a little over a month ago, still we agreed to continue as best friends, which I’m extremely thankful for! Ever since the breakup, we’ve been messaging each other on a daily basis, and we don’t talk any less now than we did while together, our communication pattern hasn’t changed, not at all. We still even text stuff like “good night”, and after my boyfriend took the initiative to do so, we’ve also been telling each other to sleep well every night. Well, here’s my question: Do you consider it any strange at all that we still do this even tho our chemistry is still really good, we get along very well? At first we only said “night”, but now we’re finally back to saying almost everything that we used to except the “I love you”part tho, obviously! A part of me tells me that it’s kind of weird (?) to tell a friend of the opposite gender, and especially your ex, to have a good nights sleep, but at the same time it really feels so natural to me… it kinda brings me some strongly needed comfort, and I do not want to lose this. Like, it means so much to me even if it’s just a short text… What are your honest opinions about this? I don’t know what to think, tbh… When I asked people on another forum, everyone just replied with negative comments about how strange of a behavior this is, they did definitely not support that we continue it…. But I’m not sure, I need some input from you guys, please! (And by the way, I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes, my native language is not English, haha!) In advance, thanks! :)

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky one. On the one hand, keeping in close contact as friends after a breakup is nice so you can maintain that companionship. And if the nightly texts feel natural then that's cool.

However, other people might see it as a sign you guys aren't fully moving on from each other romantically either. Continuing that kind of routine intimacy could make it harder to fully accept the breakup.

I don't think there's necessarily anything "wrong" with it. But you have to be real with yourself - are you both 100% over each other romantically? Or does it still feel like you're in sort of emotional limbo between friends and exes?

If you think you (or he) might still have lingering feelings, it may be healthier in the long run to scale things back a bit. Give each other more space to fully close that chapter before diving into a deep friendship, you know?

Ultimately do what feels right for where you're at emotionally. But be self-aware if you're using the messages as a crutch to avoid fully getting over him. Hope this gives you something to think on! Let me know if any other thoughts come up.

[boggboss]

The people from the other forum where correct its nice now because u have not had to come to terms with the relationship being iver and it will lead you to believe the relationship might be able to start again so once he gets a new partner u will feel Betrayed because u see this situation as more then friendship or having a best friend

[SueShe]

It is not wrong if you don't want to ever move ahead in your emotional life and keep being reminded that he did split up with you. You somehow refuse to make a clear cut and keep being reminded that your relation failed.

In a way, it is weird but it also tells me that both of you are comfortable being in that situation. My only concern is: How are you going to go about the entire situation if you ever decide to have another boyfriend?

Your (future) new boyfriend is certainly going to raise an eyebrow and realize that you are not totally over your ex boyfriend if you continue to keep such a relationship. I personally would be very suspicious if I were the new boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

So you broke up but are still calling him your boyfriend? Yeah this is not going to end well if he decides to date another girl.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he still has feelings! I have this situation with my ex too

[jahaims]

It's a bad idea to keep contact with an ex.

[In_Trance]

I don't think you know how to break up