How do you know if you are in an unhealthy or toxic relationship?

[gayesblog]

What do you think are the signs of a toxic relationship? How can you tell it if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy? Do you have specific sensitive points?

[MrOracle]

If you have constant conflict, violence or the threat of violence, or you don't feel safe, it's almost certainly a toxic relationship.

But the more important issue is that you got in the relationship in the first place. How did that happen? Almost certainly, it was because you chose your partner based primarily, if not solely, based on your feelings of attraction towards them, and you failed to vet their morals, values, and life goals (often because you knew damn well that if you did, they would never pass the vetting process).

You can get away with picking a partner that way for a very short term relationship, but it doesn't work long term, because no matter how attractive they were in the beginning, over time, their looks matter far less and their morals, values, and life goals start to matter to you more and more, and they impact your life more and more. Any misalignments in these areas get magnified more and more as the events and stresses of life bring them to the forefront.

Your feelings of attraction and infatuation do NOT have your long-term interest in mind, because they are short-term feelings. It's up to each person to rein in their feelings and to use logic and reason - the vetting process - to choose a partner carefully. That's how you avoid toxic relationships.

When something is important, you need a vetted process. It's why companies have multiple stage interviews when hiring. It's why submarines and airplanes have check-lists before they dive or fly - because you can't afford to make assumptions, you have to VERIFY, and then, once you have the information, you have to make a good decision - even if that means you don't get what you want in the short term.

Unfortunately, not many people today are willing to delay gratification, and society - leftist society in particular - certainly encourages people to make shallow, short-term decisions, because that keeps people weak and makes them easier to control. What will sell more anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, good decisions or bad ones? If your life is always a disaster because of your relationship choices, will you have time to notice when companies and politicians screw you over? Not likely. Keeping you weak and distracted works in favor of the elites.

[MicroViewer]

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[OGname2]

Honestly it can be really hard to see it if you're actually in a toxic or controlling relationship. The best thing you can do is listen to your friends and family. If they're telling you your relationship is messed up or if you're finding yourself not telling them the truth or the full story about everything then that's probably because you know deep down that it's bad. Toxic relationships don't sort themselves out the best thing you can do is move on.

Obviously there are exceptions to this some people have messed up families, but hopefully those people are aware 😅

[jennifer_bloom]

I would define a toxic relationship as an unequal relationship or a disrespectful relationship or a violating relationship

Unequal means they expect things they are not willing to give

Disrespectful means they act like it's okay to ignore your concerns and feelings

Violating means they think it's okay to cross boundaries that should not be crossed

[Finchie40]

When you are consistently blamed for everything , being criticized , belittled and compared to others by a partner that doesn’t see any wrong in themselves , when things are only one sided , there way or no way, they don’t follow boundaries the same way they expect you to for them , When it’s ok for your partner to do something but not ok for you , when a partner tries to have full control over you and manipulates you to have things their way , they don’t see eye to eye with you they just like the convenience of you , they get off on using you , your feelings don’t really matter to them , it’s whatever is best for them , nothing you do is right , they try to find every flaw in you and make you feel like you aren’t good enough. That’s when you are best to walk away and let them go

[XHopelessRomanticX]

When being away from them is more enjoyable than being with them.

[ButthurtTroll]

Well, let me tell you something about relationships, my friend. As a former internet troll, I know a thing or two about toxicity. And let me just say, if your "partner" is constantly cyberbullying you and kicking you off social forums, then you might be in an unhealthy or toxic relationship. Now, if they also happen to live in their mom's basement and talk about BBC and horror cocks all the time, then you know for sure that you're in trouble. But hey, don't worry too much about it. Just find yourself a nice whore and enjoy some anal sex instead. That's what I would do!

[Naruse]

Verbal or physical abuse, knowing intimate details about someone then using them in a fight to go for the jugular. Usually a bunch of shit born out of mental illness. Of course many toxic relationships go both ways it isn't always as simple as abuser and abused. A lot of the time consistent and sustained abuse will make the victim more abusive due to the fact that the behaviour is normalised. Then you have those who seek out abuse as a result of either trauma or self flagellation for the terrible things they've done or said which is hard because it requires a lot of therapy and help before they even want to not be abused. Take what I say with a grain of salt because I'm a layman on the subject but from anecdotal experience it can take many forms.

[IslaTheWitch]

If you feel constantly bad, if you are afraid to share your emotions or opinions with your partner, if you feel afraid to contact other people, family or friends, it could be a signal something is really bad.

In general anxiety in the relationship points to some problems.

[Screenwriter]

If you feel your personal boundaries are regularly being violated, that's a great indicator something is wrong.

Does this person constantly tell you what to do, how to dress, checks on you, accuses you of lying to them? Those are a few simple issues to note.

Basically, if you're constantly uncomfortable with and about this person, the relationship isn't good for you. End it and look elsewhere.

[Reddead8333]

Usually the biggest signs in a toxic relationship: being possessive, belitting and blaming the other partner, sees themselves as perfect with no flaws, manipulative, doesn't respect personal boundaries, smug and self-righteous, verbal abuse, physical abuse, playing the victim. A huge indicator is do you feel genuinely excited when seeing this person is it more of a chore? Do you feel ecstatic by their presence or do you feel emotionally drained?

You can usually tell if it's healthy depending on how much it's taking a toll on you. If it's taking a massive toll on you to point where it's stressing you out at work, with your friends, family, and enjoying personal hobbies, that's a big problem. That's unhealthy.

[thegreenyogi]

The first sure sign of that is if you feel unhappy and like you're walking on a mine field around the person you're with and if you are behaving less and less like yourself and you're trying to desperately modify your behaviours to make the other person happy but it never works leaving you feeling like you're overwhelmed, exhausted and down you're most certainly in a toxic relationship.

[Holsen]

Relationships are based on bonds between people so if your bond feels toxic or if you as a couple are unable to develop and deepen that bond and form a unique way of communicating exclusive for both of tou then that’s the definition pf it!!

[mandyfire98]

You know it's toxic if you are anxious in the relationship all the time, you feel depressed or angry in the relationship. You just feel an overall displeasure being in the relationship.

[Still-alive]

yes those and also the feeling that i gotta walk on eggshells around my partner. that ain't healthy in my opinion.

[mandyfire98]

Not at all. You should never feel that way.

[honeygolditly89]

1. you feel like you’re bothersome when you’re communicating your feelings because they’ve made you feel that way.


2.
Lack of communication l.


3. Showing little internet in things that excite you.


4. Picking fights over petty things/ name calling or trying to bring a/o down


5. Just showing lack of care all together

[Grond21]

Healthy relating is respectful. It's loving. There is good communication. There is freedom. There are proper attachments. When you remove one of those things, it becomes unhealthy and potentially toxic.

[TheSpaceGnome]

How would you not know?

If you find them annoying or boring or irritating, or you argue/bicker/fight, or they make you feel unsafe or emotionally uncomfortable, or they treat you unfairly, then it's toxic.

[HaleyCatgirl]

If he's beating the living hell out of you constantly manipulating you through emotion or fucking other people unless you're into that for some reason

[NathanDavis]

I do imagine that it would be the extreme/opposite of the relationships I've actually had... which were healthy and fulfilling ones...

[Andres77]

When you wake up do you smile inside and can’t wait to see him? Or do you wish you could just please go back to sleep? Just a thought, just a consideration, HUGE INDICATOR!

[Unycorn]

It's quite simple - when the bad times outweigh the good times and over a longer period of time.

[SotiCoto]

If I'm in a relationship, it is probably unhealthy, and it is probably also my fault.
That tends to be why I avoid them these days.

[Friendlybro79]

If you're unhappy all the time when you're around your SO would be a good sign to say something isn't going well.

[Carina0]

When they are not respectful to you, making you feel bad about yourself and making you question your trust