What does it mean that my fiance spends more time with his friends than he does with me?

[Anonymous]

My fiance and i have been together for 8 years. we are both 31 years old. ngl it has been real tough recently. i’ve been nagging and complaining a lot more recently. he barely calls me or texts me anymore, we barely hangout anymore. when i do call him he doesn’t answer or he just doesn’t say much on the phone. when we do hangout, he gets busy doing things around the house. he told me the other day that he doesn’t call me much because i either complain or nag or i have my phone on silent. i admit i do do that a lot. which makes me sad. i can’t blame him for not being enthusiastic to call or hangout with me much anymore because it is 100 percent my fault but it does make me sad that he doesn’t. i don’t know what to do. i want him to be obsessed with me in a healthy way. and i can tell he is pushing himself away. what can i do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's a tough situation. A few things stand out to me:

- If he's spending more time with friends than you, his fiancée, that's definitely not a good sign for your relationship. You should be his top priority.

- But you also said you've been nagging and complaining a lot more recently. I can understand why that would make him want to pull away and avoid you. Constant negativity is draining.

- Both of you seem to be communicating in unhealthy ways now - him by withdrawing, you by nagging. You need to break that cycle or it'll just keep getting worse.

- I'd say have an honest talk with him when you're both calm. Take ownership for your part, but also tell him how his distancing makes you feel. Ask to work on actively listening to each other.

- Plan regular quality time together where you both put away phones/devices. Catch up, do fun activities, remind each other why you work.

- Consider counseling too if you can't reconnect on your own. An outsider's help could give you new insight and skills.

Bottom line is focus on understanding each other, not just being "right." Compromise and teamwork are needed to save the relationship. You've got this!

[Nikki1989]

Some men have no concept on how to treat a woman.

[jimmy2]

That's so bad