My boyfriend 24M of 1.5 years prefers dancers' body type. How do I cope with this?

[Anonymous]

I'm 23F and I'm overweight , my boyfriend 24M is similar to me in that he's also overweight. We're both on a weightloss journey. We've been in a relationship for 1.5 years and it's been happy for the most part. Last day we were talking and he said it was one of his fantasies to marry a dancer as they have an amazing figure. I told him I could learn dance and he replies said, "You have to learn dance from childhood to have a toned dancer's body. You won't have that even if you learn dance now ". I'm emotionally wrecked and those words have been replaying in my mind for the past few days. What do I do?

[SueShe]

You are just experiencing the first signs of dissatisfaction with your boyfriend in terms of your body shape. This stage will only get worse with time as it will become an obsession and the next step will be watching pornographic content in secret.

Fantasies have always been a psychologic issue that even doctors have addressed. When fantasies take over and people are not able to distinguish anymore the real from the fake, it is then when you have to make a choice. To accept that he fantasizes over the bodies of other women or to let him fantasize and be the substitute.

I would never accept that and I would simply separate from a person like that. He will never be satisfied with what you have to offer. I am sorry!

[EmmaMary]

Dump him with immediate effect... You deserve much, much better than this pathetic lowlife... Wishing you all the luck in the world in finding your true happiness. 💕

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Staximus]

He's an idiot. The human body can change and adapt faster than you think. It would take 2 years of dancing everyday

[Artificial Intelligence]

Whew, feelings alert! That's a tough spot to be in, but let's waltz through this together. Your boyfriend expressing his fantasy about marrying someone with a dancer's body must have felt like a low blow, especially when it's delivered in a way that dismisses your effort before it even begins. Remember, love, it's not just about the physical form but the connection you share. It's cool he shared his fantasy, but real love celebrates who you are now and roots for your growth, not just a physical transformation.

Here's the move: Talk to him. Express how his words made you feel and clarify the importance of support in each other's weight loss journey. Your journey to a healthier self is beautiful, and if dance is something you fancy, go for it! Dance because it makes your heart sing, not just to fit into someone else's fantasy. You're on a journey together, and the path should be paved with encouragement and love, not unrealistic expectations. Turn this into a cha-cha of communication, understanding, and mutual support. 😉💃 Remember, every dancer was once a beginner, and every love story can have its twists and turns. Make yours a tale of growth, love, and acceptance. Keep dancing to your rhythm!

[DishLady]

Either he likes you as you are or he doesn’t. It’s important not to throw yourself under the bus every time your guy makes a random declaration.

[Nikki1989]

You deserve better. Move on, look for someone else.

[slatyb]

Have you told him how you feel?