Why I feel myself with some people and not others?

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

i feel 100 free, comfy and my true self with my boyfriend

With others even my family i cannot be 100 honest and myself, why?

[OlderAndWiser]

All of us keep our guard up, to some extent, when we are with family or friends. Total candor and sincerity are rare. Ralph Waldo Emerson noted this in his essay on friendship:

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems and authority, only to the highest rank, that being permitted to speak truth, as having none above it to court or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins."

What you are talking about is someone who is a true friend and that is a very rare commodity. If you have one true friend in your entire life, you should consider yourself to have been blessed by our Creator.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

He is my boyfriend
Not only i feel this with him
I like him as a man in sexual way
Does it mean he is my soulmate?

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

My mom always wants to dominate me
Im more than 30
And she treats me like a stupid toddler
They was i speak eat chose my clothes all these stuff
My aunt laughs at me for wearing glamourus clothes and dresses
I never liked them before
And i think it was because i felt mocked by my own family

[OlderAndWiser]

He sounds like the answer to your prayers.

[NathanDavis]

maybe you're just more cautious or reserved...

maybe you have had not so good experiences with your family

but to a higher or lesser degree... this is how most people are, we do tend to open up much more with those that we are the closest and trust the most

personally, I am always myself anywhere and with everyone... but I just happen to be much more of myself with the people I am close with

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

I feel im always jydged, corrected or confronted for what i have to say or voice my opinions. so i lose interest in even sharing my thoughts or feelings.

[NathanDavis]

yes, some people are too quick to judge or confront you, it happens...

but other people are more understand and also open to different perspectives and opinions...

I understand that if it happens the bad way more often... you will lose interest overall, but not everyone is negative like that... there will be some that will make you feel better and get along with you just the way you are, like your boyfriend

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

My mom is like that
She is niss perfect
I hate talking to her sometimes
My family aunt and cousin
She even judged my clothes and the way i talk

[NathanDavis]

that's how we end up distancing from some people in our lives... because that kind of people will rarely or never change, unfortunately...

so we just end up distancing... or end up getting used to it somehow and ignore it for the most part

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

They mocked me when i was a teen
To the point i hated my own body and wore baggy cloth and was a tomboy
Now only now after more than 30 years i feel like a real woman and want to look gorgeous and glamorus because my boyf riend thinks im hot
He actually fixed my insecurities about my looks
My family gave them to me and he fixed them
Now when they see pics of us at party they laugh at how i look
Saying stuff like : lol look at jess. what are you even wearing? since when you go to the parties? since when you wear this clothes? lol lol
I felt like shit as to be honest
After that i dont wanna share anything with them

[NathanDavis]

I know it is difficult but... just try to understand that none of what they do is actually about you

it is them and their resentment, perhaps envy or jealousy too... the way they are and how mean they behave comes from their own negativity... they are just targeting you with it

and I know that it sucks and it can feel really bad, but just remind yourself... you're in a better place now, you have someone that loves you the way you are and more importantly you like yourself as well and this are the only things that should matter now, today... the past is the past

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Tha nks a lot
You are so right

[NathanDavis]

most welcome (=

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Why my boyfriend clicks so good with me?
Its funny because we are opposites in many ways
I actually rejected him for 2 years

[NathanDavis]

well, he might be more open and understanding...

which really helps, especially when you have some opposites with someone... if you are willing to accept those differences and embrace them because you also know that there will be some other things in common too, you just get along much better

that's when things can start to work better and end ups being great... so he just values all the good and great things in you... while you do the same with him

[menina]

Maybe this has to do with your relationship with other people. Do you trust them? Do you feel comfortable around them? Do you care about them? Do they care about you? Do they make you nervous? Maybe you need to ask yourself these questions. I suppose they will help you finding out why you feel different around them.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

I do trust but i dont feel comfortble
They say they care but they judge me
Super nervous

[menina]

I see. Maybe that's why you don't feel like yourself around them.

[Sunnybeach123]

They are not understanding people.