How do I stop worrying over my boyfriend cheating?

[Rose473]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and I have known him since I was 12. I love him so much, he's recently moved in with me and my parents and it's been great. We have never argued, however we have had a situation where his friends girlfriend at the time became too friendly with him, and when I spoken to him about it, he went behind my back basically to talk to her. I. e., snapping her every day until it hits a streak as if I wouldn't notice. She was really mean to me as well. However, this hasn't gotten anything to do with the story.
I have severe anxiety, in which I take tablets for it. But the overthinking doesn't stop. Recently, there has been a new girl who has joined his work. Overall, he doesn't like her. She told him she went to a pub her ex was at. She shouted at him, she slept with another coworker, and sent a video to the work group chat about that coworker getting pulled over by the police. That's what I've heard.
He has got a Christmas night out on Saturday, which he's really excited about. But I'm really worried about what will happen when they are having alchol and I won't be there. I think he meant to be funny, but at another friend and his partner (different friend from the last story) , he suggested that they should girlfriend swap. I know he meant it to have a laugh, but it has always stuck with me. I'm just really worried that something will happen, but I know my boyfriend is loyal. He has continually watched his mother get hurt by men who do that, but I'm just worried about the alchol he will be having, and I won't be there that something will happen. I don't want to confront him about his coworker as I don't want to seem controlling or constantly worrying all the time, but I do worry all the time. I do apologise if this doesn't make sense. I just need to let this out

[bededazzle]

perhaps you could try to separate whether your concerns are coming from a place of obsession and anxiety or a place of knowledge and perception. if it’s the first, it could be trust issues. when it comes to anxiety s as well as relationships you have to accept the unknown. i know—easier said than done

[pethouse]

I don't know him personally, but I’m guessing if it’s a work party he’d be smart enough to not get to drunk and put himself in that position. Also if it’s true he doesn’t like her then it’s possible he won’t even go near her and if she already slept with another coworker she might be into that coworker and not your boyfriend.
If you are friends with any of his coworkers you could always ask them to keep an eye on him for you.
I hope he behaves himself and doesn’t break your relationship!

[CalmUntilAbused]

OK... I'm sorry for being this straightforward, but is Your boyfriend retarded? If not, then no amount of alcohol can make Him get close with a demon that has slept with a coworker and then shared in her company footage of said coworker getting pulled over by the police (even if it was a routine road check or a reaction to dangerous driving, what she's done is unspeakably cruel). Unless He's insane, He'd have to be on a potentially lethal cocktail of drugs to willingly get in touch with what can be suspected to be an Amber Heard-class life destroyer.

Anyway, unless He's got an important reason to be mad at You (and it looks like He has none) and has a tendency to be cruel and petty (I suppose He does not, given Your description of Him), He's highly unlikely to cheat on You at all.

[Billlewis]

Demand that he allow you to keep his penis locked at all times.

[boggboss]

So u have been with him over a year and still don't trust him

[CalmUntilAbused]

It's not about trust, She did say She considers Him loyal. It's a mostly irrational fear that is made just that little bit more rational by the presence of alcohol.

[boggboss]

Yet if u trust your partner u would understand the presence of alcohol won't change the situation as u don't think he would betray u he can't be loyle and cheat

[CalmUntilAbused]

The problem is... Alcohol can sometimes change how a person thinks. Only to some extent, but if the coworker woman in question was not the monster she is, she might slip through this partial opening in the man's defences. The chance would be extremely low anyway, I mean, I might be a virgin, but it's not like any reasonable amount of alcohol can make me pounce on women I find somewhat attractive on a company party or in a club I went to with my friends (though I have a thorough understanding of just how stupid and dangerous doing something like this is, so it might make me a little more strong-willed).

[boggboss]

But see thats it alcohol can't make someone cheat it might make them not think of the consequences of cheating but if thats the only thing holding them back they would have cheated sooner or later

[CalmUntilAbused]

It's not that easy. Alcohol itself is probably (but not definitely, it might depend on the dosage) too weak to make this much of a difference, but combined with some "party drugs" it's capable of turning a person into a wild animal in heat. Have You ever heard about GHB and how it works (besides being useful in bodybuilding)? It's not like men are immune to this adverse effect, and while it's unlikely for the company to allow this kind of stuff officially, a demon like that coworker girl described by the Author of the question might be able to smuggle them in and not even face the consequences if discovered, with some security staff probably being like: "feel free to use that on me". And while if the Author's Boyfriend was drugged like that, it wouldn't technically count as cheating, what if the demon coworker decided to videotape the ordeal and share it throughout the company? Nobody will ask any questions about possible drugging taking place, not if the victim is a man, and it would turn His life into hell. And while the Author might understand that it is unlike Her Boyfriend to do something like this and even suspect some drugging, it would still hurt Her to see Her Boyfriend making out with some damned succubus (OK, that might have been a humorous remark, but it's by no means a laughing matter).

[boggboss]

But here is the think trustvdont start at will he cheat but will he put himself in the situation of cheating if he was to take pills someone gave him without knowing what they are he is a idiot if she drugged him then thats not cheating lol thats definition rape and to be honest we are doing some crazy level brain fucking to be in that situation

[boggboss]

Here is the thing trust dont*

It would be like me saying but what if her guy passed out from getting drunk and this girl gave him a blow job like sure its not impossible but we are really stretching out imaginations here

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... It's true that if He was drugged, it wouldn't count as cheating, but more as a rape (and the offender would be the demon coworker). How would You feel if Your girlfriend got raped this way, though? It's hardly a consolation that He wouldn't be cheating in this case.

[boggboss]

I would be angry at the person that raped them my issue wouldn't be they slept with someone else it would be they was taken advantage off

[boggboss]

And its not that it's a conciliation its that they did nothing wrong

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... Say the Author's Boyfriend did nothing wrong, if what happened (with no fault on the Boyfriend's side) still hurts the Author, it's not much better. Therefore, It's just as I said, it's not lack of trust, it's fear of getting hurt.

[boggboss]

No because she asked how she can stop worrying over him cheating not how can she not worry he will get hurt and no those situations are vary differnt one is a loved one being hurt the other is your loved one hurting you

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... Your loved one being hurt would hurt You as well. I agree that the question is not written with perfect precision, but as there's a mention of alcohol, I think it's more about fear of getting hurt than about lack of trust.

[boggboss]

Thats fair enough if that what u think but I was answering what the asker asked not what I thought they ment by the question even then tho if the fear was for herbpartner getting hurt their is no fix for that either as the situation we spoke about could happen at any point aslong as alchole was involved u can't protect people from life

[Anonymous]

Only dogs are loyal in this days...