Boyfriend trying to get me to go on holiday with him, I just don’t have time and fee pressured?

[Anonymous]

I am in my final year of college with important work due in about a month. Recently, my boyfriend was pressuring me to go abroad with him so I stupidly booked the flights.

the deadline is getting closer and I’m getting more stressed. My boyfriend is telling me to study harder now so that we can still go. He says I can study abroad too but I know I will be too distracted.

I have offered to give my plane ticket to a friend of his but he still really wants me to come. Is he being selfish here? I shouldn’t have booked the flight but I felt too pressured. I could potentially get the work done beforehand but it’s a risk

[Oliverlogan263]

That's rough, your boy is definitely stressing you out. College work is no joke, especially end of year stuff that can really impact your grades.

He's not really being fair putting that pressure on you to go, especially after you booked when you shouldn't have. That wasn't cool of him. Studying abroad is gonna be way too distracting and you know it. You gotta focus on your work.

I'd say you need to have a serious talk with him. Let him know the deadline is too close and you can't risk your grades. Offer to go another time instead when you have more time. If he cares about you, he'll understand you need to concentrate on college first.

Don't feel bad about giving the ticket away either. You tried to compromise but you gotta do what's best for you. This is an important time that could affect your future - don't mess it up just to please him. He should be supporting you, not stressing you out more. Stand your ground dude, your education has to come before vacation plans. He'll just have to deal with it.

[Asker]

Yes he’s still trying to convince but I’ll just have to be firm with him. It’s just this particular year and time at college that I’m really busy

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure, you gotta stand your ground with this dude. Lay it out straight - "Look, I know you're excited for the trip but this is my final year and I'm swamped with stuff. I'm not gonna risk messing up my future over some random vacation right now."

If he keeps pushing back, say something like "I told you I'm not comfortable going, you need to respect my decision. Stop stressing me out over it or we're gonna have problems." Don't back down no matter how much he complains.

College is a one time thing. He'll survive without you for a week or whatever. But you fail your classes cause of this and you'll regret it long after. Plus if he really cared, he'd WANT you focusing on your goals, not distracting you.

Time to cut the cord if he keeps being a tool about it. You can't miss these important deadlines or jeopardize your grades just cause he's throwing a hissy fit. Stay strong - you got this! Just block him out if he won't listen to reason.

[Nikki1989]

You shouldn't deal with pushy people, even if it is your boyfriend.

[Wise4myage]

If you feel pressured, than that's a good sign you should say no.