Like I so badly want back the version of myself before the relationship that has never experienced a relationship and didn’t care about relationships.
You sound like me man , no lie , before I had my heart shit on in a relationship , I was very happy and content , always smiling and laughing and having a good time , I didn't have the best childhood growing up , but I didn’t let that bother me either , I became very independent at a young age and treated people the same way I wanted
To be treated , I still do that to this day , but I no longer trust people like I used to , having my heart shit on and betrayed by a girl that I thought loved and valued me the same , was a complete shock to me and couldn’t believe she did that to me, but I eventually moved on and eventually met another girl , this girl seemed to be better then the last but I was wrong again, This was happening more than I expected with girls’ so I started pointing fingers at myself , thinking I must be doing something wrong? To eventually realize I wasn’t , I was just choosing selfish girls’ that only cared about themselves. So I gave up on relationships all together and started focusing on myself and my own happiness , I lost a lot of respect for females because most of them are selfish lying whores that constantly think grass is greener on the other side. So instead of arguing with them , joined them by becoming a man whore myself , by hooking up with girls left and right that found attractive and not caring if they wanted a relationship or not , not caring if she was in a relationship or not , I got To a point I was juggling 8 girls at once , and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, that this isn't who I am as a person , I felt bad for being a selfish asshole , So I confessed to all those girls’ the truth and told them to move on and find themselves a man that only wants them , shockingly some of the girls still wanted to be with me , which blew my mind , as to why? But they said because I was honest with them. The one girl I was fooling around with told me To go to church with her , so I did and was blown away by what I heard about love and relationships and felt it was meant for me to go to church that day , I honestly saw things from a whole different light that helped me see things differently , I am not a holy roller but I now believe God is the answer to love. So I took her hand in marriage and her and I made 3 beautiful babies together and stayed together for a long time , until she decided to cheat on me with a co worker , So I am back to square one , I am no longer a man whore , I don’t consider myself smart I just consider myself wiser when it comes to girls’ and pretty much know what I am looking for , yes I have preference ls like everyone else does these days because I am done having my heart shit on
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It sure is. My first marriage was a train wreck of pain. I swore off relationships and just had to spend time healing and growing. Despite me not being truly interested I met a woman who sort of came into my blind spot and surprised me. We’ve been together 16 years and she’s a great wife.
I came into that relationship from a place of honesty - honest about what I could offer and what I expected. It was a key part of the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Just let life take its course and let your only defined goal being to learn, heal, and move on. Don’t let the next one pay for the mistakes of the last one and be yourself more than anything.
Sounds like you were badly burned and no human being wants to get hurt.
However, you can't go back. But you can go forward.
You'll eventually heal from the hurt. Once it's in the rear view mirror, you can rationally decide whether you actually never want to have another relationship. Sounds like you're still smoking from the burn, so you can't make an evaluation of the relationship.
A relationship is two people. Both have something to do with its demise. Exercise a lot. Hang out with friends and family and get your mind off the breakup. Consider seeing a therapist temporarily about it.
If you need to, consider getting antidepressants for a few months to get you over the hump. Check out some meetups. There are groups that play Frisbee golf, volleyball, darts, do gaming. Get a message, a haircut, manicure and pedicure, take a cold dip. Do little things to feel better.
Make sure you've seen your GP for your annual and all your shots, flu and anything else to protect yourself this winter from illness, are up to date. It's almost sales time, too. Go through your wardrobe and throw out or donate worn items or those you no longer like or wear anymore.
Do the same for your home or apartment. Clean house. It's time to renew yourself. Toss off the old. The end of something means the beginning of something else. Good luck.
If your relationship was hard and your experiences were really bad, it's quite natural, I would say.
After such events, we need time to heal and recover. Returning is not possible, but there are also good things, like learning your lesson and knowing what to avoid in the future. You won't make the same mistake again.
Give yourself time. Let yourself feel and process those feelings, don't move them away, they will return stronger in the moment of your life when you won't need them at all
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Most people will experience something like that nowadays. I had one end really bad at 33. Complicated but what she said and did to me at the end really changed me forever.
The end of that one was true beginning of middle age for me. I used to have a lot of youthful energy. Naive at times but also very optimistic and I had dreams. But I was never the same after that one. I finally accepted the cold hard truth that I am not special to anyone for just existing (despite her telling me otherwise earlier). It wasn’t the break up in itself that did it to me it was how she handled it. I got to see the true nature of women.
With that said I had two other relationships since then. They didn’t end well either. However I was much more calloused up and battle hardened to deal with the fall out at that point. I was a late bloomer (and learner) but I got to see reality.However there is still a part of me even now that is optimistic.
that's where I'm at now, too, muchacho
it sucks I know what you're going through.
it takes such high degrees of resilience to realize you're actually the wonderful person you've always been and they really didn't take anything from you. maybe a little dignity.. restorable
wish you the best. but yes, what you're feeling is sooo normal
I would hope it never ends so badly that i never want another relationship
https://www.youtube.com/embed/qTA0RuZoIxMIf they breakup was really bad and hurtful you will not want to be in a relationship for a while. In most cases those thoughts go away after some time.
It happens more often than it should, but no that's not "normal" in the sense you seem to be asking about.
Yes, definitely. However, I hope you can heal from this pain. Warmest regards
It is normal. You have to get right back in the saddle.
It'll pass. At some point in time you meet someone that makes you want to do it all again.
Sadly we can never get back to the person we once were. I’m sorry you had a bad experience
Well either you can put up some walls or create boundaries.
Is it normal to hope you have no control over your love life? Yeah that is.
I feel the same way lol I think it's normal
Yeah thats the majority of people
This may not help in the long run !
Yes 100%
Dude move on
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