My boyfriend said he loves 99% of me and 1% he doesn't. Is that normal?

[Anonymous]

I love 100% of him, all with his errors, flaws. If he doesn't like 1% someday it will become 5%, 10% and so on.

What's your opinion?

Do you like 100% of your significant other or only a certain percentage like my FREAKING boyfriend.

Updates

+1 y

People seem confused. This is my issue with it. I wrote it as an answer to one of the opinions:

It means instead of working with that 1% side of mine, by healing & loving it, he is just disregarding a side of me. Like complete disregard and no understanding for it. So it's far more likely that he will do the same thing with other qualities about me that he deems as dislikable.

Updates

+1 y

My 1%: Basically it's me wanting to talk a little longer about certain things when in his opinion there is nothing to talk about and apparently in his opinion I'm making a big deal out of it. So instead of trying to be, at least trying to be understanding he is just saying i don't fuck with that 1% side of ya and shuts it off.

[smne35]

Life is simple, we always complicate it, ok you make a valid point, far as today it's one percent next week 5 percent and so on, that's keen of you to pick up on what could quickly increase over time, I agree with you again that so what if he feels like ok you said enough cut and move on, that's kinda disrespecting to you and rude to not hear you out completely, now if say your just going on and on repeating same thing then I can understand where he's coming from but don't need to be so rude in how he went about it, if he's not willing to completely hear you out good change he'll miss out on a lot of important things over the course of your relationship this can only escalate to a point where you will be silenced and it ignited at times I hope your guys resolve this soon, or it could be a rocky road ahead

[AviatorTom]

You and he are confusing love with like. Love is unconditional, it's 100% or nothing. You can like or not like some things though. In every relationship, even the very good ones, there are some things that one partner does not like about the other. That's perfectly normal... and okay.

[SereneScribe3]

There's a quote that says "If you don't love me at my worst, you can't handle me at my best". I agree with AviatorTom. You either love someone or you don't.. There's no such thing as loving 70%, 90% of someone etc. Also, I don't think wanting to communicate and talk about things is a flaw... Tbh that sounds like a fundamental difference between you.. If he's a poor communicator, this could cause problems in the future between you.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Thank you for adding more context. That is key.

It sounds like you may need to work on betrer articulating and organizing your thoughts. In my experience, men tend to like getting to the point of a story/argument more than hearing every little cliff note.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he is just teasing you and joking around , I would t take that seriously

[Avicenna]

Yeah, no one is perfect in the eyes of their partner

[Summeroflove]

We all have flaws lol. Nobody’s perfect.

[OlderAndWiser]

A perfect partner is an illusion.

[HawkPerception]

Most people can't handle the truth. He's relating his love to the traits he likes and dislikes in you. Realistically most people in the world have at least a few traits they dislike in someone, even their partners. Liking even 99% of your traits sounds unrealistically high. That means you only get into fights, get upset, angry, distance yourself, cry, and irritate each other only 1% of the time. For most people that's much more. It just SOUNDS better when someone says I love you simply like that. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your boyfriend, but he may be trying to be too literal with you.

[Anonymous]

No. You should feel fortunate that it's as high as 99%.🤣

Most my buddies that are married all say the same thing. They say "there was something about her that was different than other women. I knew something was going to happen between us. I was either going to end up marrying her, or murdering her"🤣

Because she invokes strong feelings in you but sometimes you want to strangle her.🤣

Chris Rock does a good job of explaining this.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/JrIWCdDjdec

[boggboss]

What do u mean it will someday become 5 and 10 percent lol also liking someone 100 percent don't mean that opinion won't change

[Asker]

It means instead of working with that 1% side of mine, by healing & loving it, he is just disregarding a side of me. Like complete disregard and no understanding for it. So it's far more likely that he will do the same thing with other qualities about me that he deems as dislikable.

[boggboss]

No that sounds like u are overthinking and filling the actions with what u think

[Asker]

No his actions show me that he can't and doesn't even want to put up with my 1%.

[boggboss]

Lol so his actions show he dont love 1 percent of you how is this even a thing he nearly loves u complty but thier is a singular aspect he dislikes but somehow that enough that u can see I feel their are issue here but u are attaching them to this when it's way deeper

[boggboss]

U guys have somthing u see differnly and both want the other one to be the 1 that concedes that way of thinking if this is somthing u feel as strongly about and can't change explain that to him but it dont seem like he will chamge his opinion on it so the relationship is essently dead going forward no?

[Asker]

Yes and I didn't really understand the last part of what you wrote. But yeah basically his words match his actions. He says he doesn't like 1% of me and also he doesn't have any tolerance for that part, that's backed by his actions.

[boggboss]

Then u need to de ide if u can be with him or if thats enough for u to require a new relationship

[Asker]

We don't like harsh truths but thank you I guessssssssssss

[boggboss]

Their is no other options its either somthing u can accept or move on good luck

[Flatmanlewis]

I think he’s being equal parts honest and teasing. 99% is about as good as life gets and any pursuit of some Disney Princess movie if 100% adoration is just setting yourself up for failure.


So long as he accepts 100% of who you are, him not liking 1% of you is completely irrelevant.


I love my wife tremendously but some days and over some issues I’m not really a fan of how she handles things. Guess what? Doesn’t matter. I love her 100% and that’s what counts.

[hahahmm]

Male & female are not the same. You've been brainwashed into thinking that men & women (male & female) need to think the same way but that's wrong. Also, just because you say you love him 100% doesn't make it true. If you can keep that energy up every day of every week for the next 60 years, I'll believe you then.

[Nik1hil]

1% could include a parasite infection you have in your body. or a fungal infection.

it could include your pet, or someone in your family, Either of your parent, could be your past lover, it could be dandruff, It could be anything that you don't consider you. But he considers it a part of you

[Asker]

No, I already know what he means with that 1%. And it is something that's part of me. And in my opinion it's not even bad to the extent that he has to completely ahut off for that side of me. Basically it's me wanting to talk a little longer about certain things when in his opinion there is nothing to talk about and apparently in his opinion I'm making a big deal out of it. So instead of trying to be at least trying to be understanding he is just saying i don't fuck with that 1% side of ya.

[Nik1hil]

Oh!.. next time, instead of talking a bit more. ask him for a hug instead!..

[Levin]

What an autistic guy. But that is the definition of love, we take on those darker aspects of that person, as we take the whole person.

[strateguy632]

wonderful compliment from every angle! rare goodness better than normal.

very honest, do not focus on the "half empty" less than half!

[RevengeofLadyJ]

Hi. Do you mind giving me some advice

[jshm2]

No. He's just being a dick.

Tell him you love 95% of him. When he asks what the other 5% is, tell him it's the shit he drops in the toilet every morning.

[CindyRuns]

No matter how much we love someone, they always have that side which drives us nuts !!!

You just accept that part !!!

[molonski2]

OMG , I've never loved 99% of anyone , I must be very difficult to please , I've had a good cross section..

Consider yourself fortunate , thats if he is being honest.

[SotiCoto]

People asking if X is "normal" again. Could totally make a drinking game out of this nonsense.

Anyway, you don't love 100% of him if you don't like that he loves less than 100% of you.

[YesterdaysChild]

Tell him, when he says that, that you love 1% of his dick, but not the 99% he doesn't have. That may shut him up. You think?

[genericname85]

so you're saying you wouldn't love your husband just a tiny little bit more if he didn't have his annoying flaws?

[Asker]

No I already love him. There's no loving him more or less. But yes I would be happier if he handled some things more maturely. It'll make the love feel better though, so yes.

[genericname85]

so since it "can" be better, that means it's not 100% already. that's logic. when you say 100% that's emotional bullshit statement meant to tell your partner that you love him. his answer is the logical factual statement because if there is even some tiny thing that could make his love any better, it can not already be 100%.

so in essence you're both saying the same thing using different words.

[Alex-Snow]

That is kinda weird of him. U are doing the right thing and trying to talk with him about it. Are you two sexually involved? Does that have anything to do with it?

[spartan55]

Is he typically prone to saying stupid shit like this?

[DextroShade]

You sound very insecure and you are demanding that he think you are perfect. Perfection is an impossible standard for anybody to meet.

[Kingofkings1992]

No one loves 100 percent of someone. Realistically, 99 percent is extremely high

[ChicoFromThe305]

Just ask him what the 1% is

[Asker]

I already know but i still don't think it's okay 🤧

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lol well maybe one day he will learn to love you 100%

[ChicoFromThe305]

What is the part tho? I'm sure it's probably understandable

[Asker]

Would you be with someone who loves 99% of u and despises and disrespects the 1% side of urs?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Well it depends what part of me that is, for example I wasn't living on the right side of the law when I was younger and if my partner didn't agree with it, I wouldn't expect them to respect that part of me, it's all based on morals tbh and If they choose to love everything else but that part, I can completely understand, it of course depends on what it is

[Asker]

But my side is not even anything illegal. It's me wanting to discuss more. It gives me a sense of security to know by talking. This is literally how women's brain work. Talking and figuring out shit makes us feel safe. But he thinks I make something out of nothing. It's an important part of me. So yeah I do expect respect, effort & understanding. If it's somehow relevant my relationship has been going on for 4 years.

[ChicoFromThe305]

If that's his issue then I do believe he should accept you 100%, actually he should be happy that he has a woman that properly communicates or tries to communicate with him, not many can say they do

[linka_pat307]

Hey! You love too much , there is no way I can love someone 100% be happy he loves 99%.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes; that's completely normal. Please don't trip. He loves you.

[boobliker]

yes I understand that and would be ok with it too'

[Likes2drive]

Never heard that before, maybe that’s how he ways it out in his head

[jahaims]

No, you love someone enough to put up with the parts you don't like. No one is perfect.

[AngryCarl]

Depends how long you've been together. It starts out as 100%, and gradually reduces to zero.

[In_Trance]

Normal... you tell us. Is that the way it's always been?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope, that's not normal normally you love about 70% and 30%. You don't like, so you're doing well

[askthis56]

What is %1 means I dont know. You should ask him what the %1 is all about

[Selliebeanz]

I mean he's being realistic

[Asker]

Noooooooooo

[Anonymous]

Men make little sense at the best of times.

[Amara_09]

Ask him what he means about that 1%

[Thestupidusername]

No you have nothing to worry about.

[LovingJo]

He sounds like a narcissist

[elizamichale1]

I think he is honest

[Kelly6]

99% is too high

[Fromdusktilldawn]

simple, nobody is perfect

[Iron_Man]

Makes no sense

[pickles77]

Saying 100% is just lying to each other isn’t it?

[Enginn]

Lol. That doesn't sound normal.

[Anonymous]

Do you nag a lot?

[Asker]

define a lot? plus what's considered "nagging" and what's considered healthy arguing?

there's something that comes up every 3 days i will say. but it's never something that can't be solved by some talking but somehow it usually ends up him dismissing me and me becoming angry about that.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow every 3 days? Damn woman learn to control your emotions.

[Asker]

-.- alrighty

[Opinion Owner]

Do you really think a guy wants to go home to a woman that nags him every 3 days? You're causing him stress. Fix your behavior before he leaves.

[Asker]

Idc he causes me stress by not talking. I'm as important as he is. So he and I need to work on it instead of just completely disregarding an important part of me. I think you should care about your own needs little bit more too.

[Anonymous]

Seems screwy to me.

[butterly248]

That's weird