Why is it so hard to make relationships nowadays?

[MusicTokuXX]

Like I try to be deep and i try to be really nice which i am naturally but people get weird when i do it. It seems like It’s awkward for people when i try to be sincere.

I don’t get it. Because i bet before today, it was easier to get emotionally connected with people. I don’t know what’s happening. I want to make deep connection relationships like how it used to be and like how relationships are usually portrayed on tv shows and stuff. Those are so meaningful and I want it how it used to be.

[SotiCoto]

It is difficult to explain the proper reason for this... but basically people are too networked now. They have immediate access to millions of other people, but the human mind can't really process the concept of millions of individual identities... so people are treating each other more like statistics. There is far less personal investment and everything is more disposable. And obviously nobody wants to be treated as disposable, so people are far less forgiving about what they're willing to put up with.
The longer this goes on, the less people are willing to put up with, but simultaneously the less they're willing to risk on complete strangers, so the whole situation just gets worse.

[MusicTokuXX]

@SotiCoto what am I supposed to do? I want meaningful relationships again

[SotiCoto]

There is no good solution.
Avoid dating apps. Avoid anything that is marketed specifically towards pairing people off, as it will always be high-volume, low-investment. The old method of going down to your local pub or whatever is marginally better, but not much so.
Your best bet is to find a hobby that involves interacting with people in person on a fairly regular basis, or a small community based on specific shared interests. That is a means of getting to know others personally without ulterior motives, and is probably your best bet.

[wysiwyg2525]

Well the main reason is dating apps and social media. Dating apps will always bring a pers back to the app because they just want sex, free date or the live the whay if question. There will be no what it's there is what is. Never settle and always be honest. If you want a serious relationship then tell the person right away so you don't waste time and feeling won't get hurt. Why was your time into something that's not there. If the guy/girls say I'm not looking for anything too serious then that means they just want sex so pass them off. If they say it's complicated pass on them, if they say yes I am putting effort into someone then they are the one. Just ask them point blank.

[Serenitykayyy]

Forming romantic relationships is hard because dating now a days is nearly impossible. People are just looking to hookup and move on. Situationships are a common occurrence nowadays. Don’t force anything if it’s meant to be it will be. Don’t be too hard on yourself a lot people are struggling to find someone who wants something real.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Serenitykayyy what am I supposed to do then? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships. I want to be able to emotionally connect to someone.

Like I once told my friend how thankful i was to have him as a friend and he asked me if i got hacked! Ridiculous right? Just because i was being nice he thought i got hacked. What is wrong with people nowadays?

[Account]

It was not easier in the past. At least, I don't think it was.
People simply endured more and were extremely tolerant because there was social stigma if you broke up or if you got divorced.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Account No but social media didn’t exist. People didn’t just look at their phones all day, it was actual real human interaction.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I tried to make a connection last night online... she wouldn't stop with just making me prove myself... pictures and all of that. Conversation stopped with me saying "You just trying to figure out if I'm real?"

Yeah, the conversation stopped there. I didn't have to tell her some evil thing about myself... that's all it took. I have to ask myself if she would be like that face-to-face. She'd see my shiny abs and muscles and we all know who's dick would get sucked offline.

Obviously I'm just making the online and offline argument about everything.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Everyone has been giving wrong answers so I'm going to chime in.

Commited, deep connection relationships are the norm. Most 90s sitcom TVs portrayed how most relationships actually are. Social media and dating apps aren't promoting hookups, and hookup culture is still very niche, but is all some people are exposed to because of the types of people they interact with.

If most of your friends or social experiences in general are with garbage people, then yes, you are going to feel like no one wants a real relationship, but its a scewed perspective.

In order to get a real connection, you need to find a woman that shares your hobbies, interests, and personality.

[MusicTokuXX]

@TheSpaceGnome That’s pretty difficult, especially nowadays. And for an asocial person like me. Also it’s like People are weirded out by sincerity and kindness like they never seen it before.

For example I once told my friend how thankful i was to have him as a friend and he asked me if i got hacked! Ridiculous right? What is wrong with people nowadays!

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't have that issue, sincerity and kindness is generally expected by most people. Those who act otherwise are usually shunned by society.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You need to get out of the shit crowd.

[MusicTokuXX]

@TheSpaceGnome I only have my high school friends and some random people but I don't know anyone else. I have nowhere to meet people. I don't know where. I’m an introvert so it’s hard for me to talk to people

[TheSpaceGnome]

I already graduated, it does not get easier to meet people unless you go to college. But the thing is introversion is not your issue, even introverts socialize. Settling is your issue, if their character is garbage, cut them out of your life, because garbage people just draw in more garbage people, and then you're surrounded by the minority instead of the majority.

[RebelinSteel]

As compared to when? Going off TV is crazy as that is not the real world. I only really know now and it’s been same for easily last 10 years, you go to pub, play sports, go on holiday, etc and doing one of those things you meet someone and hit it off. Online stuff is a waste really.

[MusicTokuXX]

@RebelinSteel what am I supposed to do then? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships.

[Interstate]

Today's society is about mind games, every man for himself and getting into something just to see what one can get out of it. We are in a society where good man finishes last. I had to tell myself to stop looking at dating a long time ago. If you have morals, self respect and do things for all the right reasons, you get walked over and used, because Today's deceit supercedes respect from the past.

[exitseven]

social media. Maggie Jackson wrote a book called "Distracted" It is all about how we do not have deep conversations with people and everyone had a million Facebook friends but not one single person that they can talk to about a personal problem.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? Most people simply do not want relationships now-a-days. They'll tell you they do, they might even put on a front. But basically what they mean is they want someone who pays tribute to them. Relationships are reciprocal by design. Most people do not want to give anything.

[MusicTokuXX]

what am I supposed to do then? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships. I want to be able to emotionally connect to someone

[Opinion Owner]

We all want things in life man. Most of us don't get them. All you can do is keep your heart open, make good choices, we wary of exploitative women, and in my opinion praying to God for his help wouldn't hurt.
There are good women out there. They just few in number. When you find one don't let go. Give her all you got.

[Nikki1989]

It is not. I meet new people at least 5 days a week. I have new friends coming over tonight. Step out of your comfort zone and you will find it is very easy.

[MusicTokuXX]

@Nikki1989 i’m an asocial person and very introverted. I also have autism so I can’t open up easily at all. My friends never invite me out even if i ask. I have nowhere to meet people

[YesterdaysChild]

Maybe you are concentrating on sex more than in the person's intelligence - the person behind the eyeballs?

[MusicTokuXX]

@YesterdaysChild NO, Sex grosses me out most of the time, and i try to get to know the people i meet. But it never works out.

[YesterdaysChild]

Well that explains it. Most girls like sex and guys who do too.

[MusicTokuXX]

@YesterdaysChild WTF? Gross, That’s not what i would consider a good relationship. Sex ain’t everything in a relationship especially not the an important one

[YesterdaysChild]

@MusicTokuXX It definitely is not the MOST important thing, but it ranks up there at the top.

[sheikalana]

Social media and dating apps give me the impression that a lot of people see others as disposable.

[MusicTokuXX]

@sheikalana Why?

[sheikalana]

Because they think they have many options. If one doesn’t correspond to their expectations they go home and swipe on the next one.

[MusicTokuXX]

@sheikalana what am I supposed to do then? I want meaningful relationships again

[sheikalana]

Keep trying.

[MusicTokuXX]

@sheikalana wow that does not help whatsoever. Wtf do you mean keep trying

[sheikalana]

You know that social media is not the only way to meet people right? Back in the day there were no dating apps or social media. You can literally meet people everywhere.

[magiusX26]

sounds like you are trying to force your personality to match what others want. that is self defeating. instead, find someone interested in your natural personality.

[MusicTokuXX]

@magiusX26 wtf are you talking about? Where’d you get that from? what am I supposed to do then? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships.

[MusicTokuXX]

@magiusX26

[OddBeMe]

Us. We as a people want instant gratification and think tinder profiles lets you know a person. It doesn’t by a long shot.

Dont get me wrong, meeting someone online is cool, just meet in person before swiping right.

[MusicTokuXX]

@OddBeMe what? Meet in person before swiping right? That doesn’t make sense. Also that’s difficult when half of the people you meet online don’t even live in the same area/state.

[OddBeMe]

Firstly, isn’t that the goddamn point? To find dates? Not hot people? You need to be in the same area, which I imagine like eBay you can ask Tinder to search for.

And yeah that’s my fuckin point. You are swiping right based on idiotic social media thoughts. Instead of going on a date first and seeing someone outside of social media.

[MusicTokuXX]

@OddBeMe but you can’t message someone before swiping right, so you can’t even ask to meet up. And half of the time they’ll say no. Well that’s my luck anyway. Where would you even go on a date anyway? I never even been on a date before

[OddBeMe]

Maybe I meant swipe left. But that’s my fucking goddamn point! I’m too old!

Yes obvi message. But I guess I meant to just try more meeting in person instead of deciding by profile.

[SolitarySolace]

Probably because everyone is at each other's throats these days for one reason or another

[Anonymous]

Too much brainwashing from movies everyone needs domething completely out of the ordinary

[MusicTokuXX]

wtf are you talking about? what am I supposed to do? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships.

[Opinion Owner]

search enough and you will find, also try to masturbate less or not at all

[MusicTokuXX]

Wdym search enough? Also what does masturbating have to do with anything

[Opinion Owner]

I mean if you believe in something you always keep on searching and masturbation its a lot about it that is bad, stop throwing your liquids without a reason.

[SphynxUK]

TV and film romance is pretence! It’s not real.

[MusicTokuXX]

@SphynxUK I KNOW THAT! Not the point tho. what am I supposed to do? I want meaningful relationships again. I want deep personal relationships. It’s ridiculous how it’s so hard nowadays

[SphynxUK]

What do you mean ‘how it used to be’? If you want connections, you need to put yourself in those situations. Find people with your interests, join autism meet up groups, join a sports team…. Communication and connecting is always going to be difficult if you are autistic. I guess you should keep trying, keep putting yourself out there but only connect with the right people. If you have to make a big effort with someone, they aren’t usually worth it.

[boobliker]

it not if you get the phone out of the way

[Nikki1989]

Yay, one guy gets it.