Are men really getting a raw deal in KNOWN gold digging relationships?

Question

I'm not talking about gold digger relationships where the guy finds out the woman only wants him for your money after like 3 dates. I'm talking about those dudes who are clearly forking over whole checks because they're super rich and know money essentially can "buy them a hot girlfriend/wife."

A lot of people understandably have negative views about these relationships because they don't seem to ever be about true love, just him using her and her using him, but if both parties are aware what they are, how can the guy be the one getting the raw deal? He has the wallet and can walk away, but majority of these guys use their finances a lot of times for this purpose so they can be seen/have sex with a hot, usually, younger woman. There are like rich people dating services that exclusively cater to the rich where everyone knows what they are there for and trust, it's not for them to find the loves of their lives.

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

If you know what you're signing up for, then you can't be surprised when you get it.

I think some guys hope the connection will grow into something more with time though... It might start as gold digging, but you'd hope there will be something more down the line. I think one of the most frustrating things about dating is when you invest your time and energy into someone who you don't realize has some super clearly defined idea of exactly everything the relationship/interaction will be.

This wasn't a gold digging situation, but one time, I spent the better part of a year cultivating a relationship/friendship with a woman I met online. We were talking and exchanging messages, and really just building a genuine connection for 10 months before I had a chance to meet her in person when I was in her city on a business trip. When we met in person she was really thrilled that I was exactly who claimed to be and such. Unfortunately, she ended up killing the relationship shortly after we met in person, saying that she didn't feel like she could open up to me because the conversation didn't flow natural for her since I was just some guy she met online.

After a year of talking where this wasn't an issue. After meeting in person. After seeing that I am who I say I am. After all of that, she still only saw me as "some guy she met online." She feels how she feels, obviously... but that was quite cold and disheartening.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

If they’re upfront, then they’re a sugar baby, not a gold digger.

Money for honey.

Sugar babies and sugar daddies know that they have a transactional relationship.

The sugar daddy spoils the sugar baby with gifts and money (or sometimes even a negotiated retainer fee) and the sugar baby offers him company and whatever else they negotiated.

A gold digger on the other hand, LIES about their motives and PRETENDS to love a guy, only to manipulate him and take his money.

Sugar daddies looking for sugar babies know what they’re getting themselves into.

They aren’t getting a bad deal if they have a mutually agreed upon arrangement.

With gold diggers, that title is associated with deception and manipulation.

They pretend to love you, only to actually be after your wealth.

That’s always a bad deal, because that’s not what the guy thought he was getting into.

Avicenna · Answer

Not if both parties understand it's merely transactional (and they do in this instance).

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If everybody knows what time it is I've no problem with it. I personally wouldn't choose to have @billlewis 's sex life, but he's quite happy with it, so who am I to say he's getting a raw deal. That's like someone telling me I'm missing out on this great bud light. I don't drink beer. Not going to do a whole lot for me. Glad you're enjoying it though.

BCA6010 · Answer

That's their prerogative, but I think it's nuts. I can attest that being able to pay to dote on women regularly gives a sense of power and accomplishment that they probably need to affirm themselves, but  knowingly  letting yourself be exploited seems like it would undermine that feeling.

Billlewis · Answer

Not in my book. I've come to realize that my purpose in life is to serve the superior female, and spending my money on her, or simply letting her take it, is one of the best and easiest ways to accomplish that.

NamerOfStars · Answer

If it's all upfront and aboveboard, then no, I wouldn't say they're getting a raw deal. Frankly, if they are, they can always renegotiate it. It's not like there's some central authority managing these things.

Anonymous · Answer

There's always 2 ways to look at it. Maybe the guy is way too ugly or too old for her. the woman is not physically attracted to him but to his wallet. She would be considered as a high price hoe. Letting him buy everything for her so he could play With her toys and her wet wet

LiamJHayden · Answer

No, because they know what the are getting into.

Anonymous · Answer

To be fair almost all women care about money, as a guy you are expected to provide. If a girl earns then they consider guys worth more than her status only. It's what it is.