What happened between with having an interest in dating but doesn’t get anywhere w it & w no intention on dating but gets lots of attention from men?

[Anonymous]

Years ago I was so interested in dating with that type of man who I want to build a home with. But lots of things happened in my life and it got to my attention is that I can only depend on myself and my desires and I still am honest about whenever a man approaches me and asks me about if I want to date and then my answer will always be that I would rather be cyberfriends with them because I’ve been hurt a lot and I’ve went through other difficult different relationships with mean people so I don’t desire that type of relationships anymore. I still get lots of attention of men even though they are handsome or they are handsome in my eyes and I can’t understand why they have an interest in me because I’m not skinny and I’m not pretty. I’m just normal. I’m kind to whoever is kind to me. Whatever I feel like saying to a person most of the times it is a compliment so if I tell you how I feel I’m honest about it and I try it to say it with the most meaningful but kind words but my intentions is to never mislead another person because no one deserves that kind of treatment from anyone but still I’ve noticed my desires are different from other people and that’s a struggle.

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like you've had some tough experiences that have understandably made you hesitant to open up to another relationship right now. That's totally understandable - it takes time to heal from hurt and build trust again.

As for why guys still show interest even though you're not looking, I think a lot of it comes down to how you carry yourself more than just looks. Kindness, confidence and being a good listener go a long way in making a connection with people. Guys can probably sense you have a caring soul.

It's natural for desires to change over time based on life experiences too. Nothing wrong with wanting to focus on yourself for now instead of dating. As long as you're honest about that upfront like you said.

Maybe one day down the line when you feel ready again, you'll meet someone deserving of you giving their love a chance. But no need to force it. Just stay true to yourself, keep putting good into the world, and I'm sure you'll attract the right people and opportunities when the time is right. For now, enjoy life on your terms!