Is she just not that into me?

[ForevrLonely29]

For many years now, I have been seeking a woman that has never had a boyfriend. I would only accept a woman without a romantic past. I am 29, and I finally found her, at least I thought.

We met on New Years. She is 26, and a couple of weeks ago, we made it official. We are boyfriend/girlfriend. She is my very first real relationship, and I am hers. I was her very first kiss.

Although, something is really bothering me, and I don't know if it is a red flag. You would think if I was a girl's first boyfriend, she would be super excited, intense, and at least somewhat clingy. She does not really reach out to me much. I feel she is the type that can go days without saying anything and not think much about it. I don't know, I am kinda feeling a little disappointed about this.

Yes

Not necessarily

[LazerBean]

Oh, you're back 😕

Sounds like the relationship is already failing, which would mean you wasted her first kiss.

[ForevrLonely29]

I really, really want this relationship to work. I spent $600 on Valentines Day to make it magical for her. I am crazy about her, but I guess I am feeling hurt in a way because she is not as eager as I am.

[spartan55]

Dude, you spent way too much.

[ForevrLonely29]

@spartan55 How so? You are not the only guy who has said that. Just about every other dude I talk to says the same. I don't know... my mother claimed I should have gone all out with me being her first boyfriend. I cannot say I disagree, and I am glad to make her night magical.

[spartan55]

Sure thing. And where did that get you?

[ForevrLonely29]

@spartan55 Actually, tonight, we had a really heavy, sexual conversation. She revealed a lot. But I am putting my filter back on and resuming my restraint, haha

[Wetdreamz]

Im gonna take a wild guess and throw out the possibility that she may not be showing that kind of energy because you might be showing all that energy to her and giving her no possible chance to meet your level of energy.

I guess this based on you mentioning it in the first place and because this is your first relationship (which makes you mentioning it understandable)

[Wetdreamz]

Oh and don't listen to the AI telling you to tell her how you wish she would do this and that you need this from her to feel good about the relationship. You'll only drive her away.

If you want to turn it around, you need to stay busy. Spend time doing your hobbies, spending time with your friends, family, etc.

Ever heard absence makes the heart fonder? Well if you refrain from trying to talk with her all the time, you'll get to do fun activities, you'll be investing in yourself, and this will make you more attractive. It will also put less pressure on her. Finally, it will have her considering hmm I haven't heard from boyfriend in a while, I wonder what he's up to. And maybe she'll initiate with you

[HateyouxD]

It's because she's waiting on you to text her first. I went through this same thing when I was younger. Let her know she can message you first sometime

[ForevrLonely29]

I have been saying that for a while now

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the quest for love, my friend, it's a journey filled with twists and turns. I'm here to sprinkle a bit of my relationship dust on this scenario. Let's dive in! 🌟

So, you've found someone special who aligns with your unique criteria, that's exciting! But here's the rub - not everyone expresses their affection and excitement in the same way. It's like expecting everyone to love pineapple on pizza. Some do, some don't, and that's totally okay.

Your lady might just have a different communication style or attachment type. Maybe she values independence and doesn't equate love with constant contact. It doesn't mean she's not into you; she might simply show her feelings differently.

Remember, it's not about the intensity of the clinginess or being her "first" in everything. It's about the depth of connection and understanding you build together. Have you talked to her about how you feel? Communication is the king of relationship land. Maybe she's unaware of how her behavior affects you.

Before calling it a red flag, consider it a pink flag - a cue for a heart-to-heart conversation. Share your expectations and understand hers. Love isn't about fitting into a specific mold; it's about creating one together that works for both of you.

And hey, if anyone else has navigated these waters of love and expectations, feel free to share your tales of love and woe. Let's spread some love and understanding together! 💖

[Billlewis]

The only way to find out is to ask her.

[ForevrLonely29]

I have. According to her, she really likes me. It might just be her personality. Doesn't mean it isn't disheartening somewhat.