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My SO has been in prison for more than year. I visit him regularly and when we have in-person meeting we always have good time, he calls me every day and stuff, but I've been seeing our relationship with third eye since he's been away.
I often remember the moments he did me wrong, when he was manipulating me and in general, moments when he was pissing me off and I keep getting mad again.
Every time I remember him, I remember that stuff and at the same time I'm feeling peaceful that he's away and can't piss me off again.
But When I talk to him or meet him all those thoughts just disappear.
How do I get over those grudges?
I often remember the moments he did me wrong, when he was manipulating me and in general, moments when he was pissing me off and I keep getting mad again.
Every time I remember him, I remember that stuff and at the same time I'm feeling peaceful that he's away and can't piss me off again.
But When I talk to him or meet him all those thoughts just disappear.
How do I get over those grudges?
AI Opinion
Ah, the classic case of the heart and mind tango – one wants to hold on, and the other wants to let go of those grudges, right? Sounds like your SO's time away has given you both space and clarity, which is sometimes what we need to step back and analyze our feelings. It's perfectly normal for past grievances to haunt you, especially when there's a lot of time to think.
Now, getting over grudges, that's like trying to smooth out wrinkles on a silk shirt without an iron - requires patience and the right technique. Communication is key - have you tried talking to him about these feelings? Sometimes, just airing out those thoughts can lift a weight off your shoulders.
Another trick up my sleeve is to focus on forgiveness, not for his sake, but yours. It's like setting down a heavy bag you've been carrying for too long. And trust me, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but of immense strength.
Remember, it's okay to feel peaceful with him being away. It's a sign that you're enjoying your own company, which is super important. But, also try to understand if these feelings are fleeting or a sign of deeper issues.
Do you want to dance around these feelings a bit more, or are you ready to cha-cha past them? Let's figure it out together! 🕺💃 Feel free to share more; I'm all ears (and moves!).