Why do I still hold a grudge?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I ended over four months ago. He was cheating on me for months and lied when I had suspicions about it. Right after I found out about it I was very angry said some extremely wrong things to him that hurt his feelings. We texted each other hateful things a week straight after the break up. But we finally stopped. I won’t talk to him for weeks and will finally start to get over him and what he did. I even forgive him and myself for what I said…. But……….. the minute he breaks contact and decides to randomly call/text me out of the blue all the anger that I let go suddenly come back. Then again we don’t talk for like weeks and I get over him and what happened. I seen him in public a week ago and we just kind of smiled at each other and he signals me to call him. He texts me and tells me how amazing I looked and how he wanted to tear my clothes off when he saw me. We joked a little and I thought we were going to get along. He asked when could he come over to visit. So I asked has he been sleeping with other women and he admitted weeks ago. Things went left and I brought up his cheating again and here comes that strong feeling of hate towards him. This time he didn’t argue back but said he was over it and stopped responding. I’m pretty sure this is the last time we will ever speak. I don’t get why we get along but end up talking about his past cheating.

[Anonymous]

Despite how mad you get I think a part of you is still holding onto him, and therefore still holding that anger. Really letting it go means letting him go too, and even if you think you have let go already, your actions speak differently when you entertain him coming back each time. If he’s really done this time around then that might upset you, mostly because he’s actually letting go when you should’ve been the one to do it and have that satisfaction. All this to say, forgive him. Not for anyone else but yourself, so that you can heal and move on. If he comes back, just don’t allow him again because you know he’s got nothing new to say.

[Googlemyahoo]

Hey its been like 25 years I still hold a grudge for same reasons lol. I just saw the ex who cheated/lied to me in the 90s at our kids soccer game last week & I won’t acknowledge her presence.

[Guy13]

It’s normal to be angry. You need to go ahead and grieve. Deal with your pain.