So my girlfriend had to move to across the country to another state for work about 5 months ago, she didn’t have any say in it. We have been flying to each other every month since the move, so we’ve still been seeing each other a lot, it’s just been harder. My company was going through a massive layoff and reorg right when this was happening, so I didn’t want to bring up me working remote because there was a risk I could just be laid off. The layoffs took months to actually happen, so that delayed me talking to people. I applied to over 50 jobs in my field in the area and everything fell through.
I finally spoke to my manager last week, and he was supportive but he said prepare for anything, the company could say no and that I will be asked to leave, because I told them I I was moving no matter what because she is my priority.
Before I spoke to my manager, I was talking to my girlfriend and she was getting frustrated that I wasn’t doing more, like I wasn’t preemptively selling my stuff and moving more stuff down to her while we wait for me to talk to my company. I explained that I am the sort of person who needs to focus on one big thing at a time, that once I speak to my company I’ll feel less overwhelmed. And she said she is nervous that this is too big of a move and that she is asking too much of me. I reassured her that she is worth it, and that she matters more to me than some job. And she said “that doesn’t make me feel better, I don’t want to be your everything, I want you to move here because you want to move here. You should only move here because it’s the right move for your life” I said “you won’t be everything but the only reason I am moving here is for you, and that’s what I want.” We talked through it all and I think we ended up working it out. But I honestly don’t know what to say, I’m not moving to that state because it’s good for my career, I’m moving there entirely for her. I understand her fear but I just don’t know what to say?
I finally spoke to my manager last week, and he was supportive but he said prepare for anything, the company could say no and that I will be asked to leave, because I told them I I was moving no matter what because she is my priority.
Before I spoke to my manager, I was talking to my girlfriend and she was getting frustrated that I wasn’t doing more, like I wasn’t preemptively selling my stuff and moving more stuff down to her while we wait for me to talk to my company. I explained that I am the sort of person who needs to focus on one big thing at a time, that once I speak to my company I’ll feel less overwhelmed. And she said she is nervous that this is too big of a move and that she is asking too much of me. I reassured her that she is worth it, and that she matters more to me than some job. And she said “that doesn’t make me feel better, I don’t want to be your everything, I want you to move here because you want to move here. You should only move here because it’s the right move for your life” I said “you won’t be everything but the only reason I am moving here is for you, and that’s what I want.” We talked through it all and I think we ended up working it out. But I honestly don’t know what to say, I’m not moving to that state because it’s good for my career, I’m moving there entirely for her. I understand her fear but I just don’t know what to say?
Updates
1 mo
It was really scary to speak to my company about making this move, I legitimately could lose my job. I understand she is scared that I’m making too big of a move for her, but this was always part of the plan when she moved. I think it’s because it was months of build up, if I was able to speak to my company immediately this wouldn’t be as stressful now. But I couldn’t without almost guaranteeing losing my job.
