We have been dating for nearly a year. She told me a couple months in there was a chance she may have to move for her job and I said I would move with her and that I may be able to convince my company to let me work remote.
Her company strung her along for months, not knowing if she was going to lose her job or get a job offer for another position. After 6 months she was finally offered a job across the country and she had to move out there in 3 weeks. There was no way for me to plan for any of this because up until a month ago, I didn’t know where she was going to end up.
I warned her that I may not have as much leverage and that I would likely need to find a job first as a safety net and it may take a couple months. She understood and said we would work it out.
As soon as she got the job I started to apply to jobs in that city and she got upset because she thought I was going to tell the company to work remote. She still thought I had leverage enough to work remote. I explained that the company just started laying people off that week, and that if I ask to work remote, I will likely lose my job and my coworkers all agreed it would be a bad move to not find a job first. We talked about it and she agreed it was the better move, and we started talking about apartments that she could afford on her own while we wait, and we started talking about our future together.
Last night something changed and we were discussing it again and she reverted back, not understanding why I couldn’t just tell my company. She asked for a timeline of when I would move there. I said I didn’t know since I needed a job first. she said “I may just get a smaller apartment without you then” and she said “I am very good at rebuilding my life from scratch and starting over. I know me. I’ll slowly forget about you, and then avoid you, and put it off”. That crushed me. She walked it back, apologized.
Her company strung her along for months, not knowing if she was going to lose her job or get a job offer for another position. After 6 months she was finally offered a job across the country and she had to move out there in 3 weeks. There was no way for me to plan for any of this because up until a month ago, I didn’t know where she was going to end up.
I warned her that I may not have as much leverage and that I would likely need to find a job first as a safety net and it may take a couple months. She understood and said we would work it out.
As soon as she got the job I started to apply to jobs in that city and she got upset because she thought I was going to tell the company to work remote. She still thought I had leverage enough to work remote. I explained that the company just started laying people off that week, and that if I ask to work remote, I will likely lose my job and my coworkers all agreed it would be a bad move to not find a job first. We talked about it and she agreed it was the better move, and we started talking about apartments that she could afford on her own while we wait, and we started talking about our future together.
Last night something changed and we were discussing it again and she reverted back, not understanding why I couldn’t just tell my company. She asked for a timeline of when I would move there. I said I didn’t know since I needed a job first. she said “I may just get a smaller apartment without you then” and she said “I am very good at rebuilding my life from scratch and starting over. I know me. I’ll slowly forget about you, and then avoid you, and put it off”. That crushed me. She walked it back, apologized.
Updates
7 mo
I was fully prepared to uproot my life to be with her, I am making a lot of plans to prepare to move. I just need a job first, and she said “I will believe it when I see it” and she is convinced I am not going to move to be with her, and I don’t know what I can say to convince her I am serious. I have shown her all the jobs I’ve applied to, but she doesn’t think I am serious. And now I am scared about uprooting my life for someone who isn’t being sympathetic to how quickly this all moved
What Girls & Guys Said
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Screw her then. You don't need that bad attitude from her.
I just don’t understand what she wants from Me, I feel like it’s pretty understandable that someone can’t just up and leave on such a short notice, and my situation changed and evolved. I didn’t want to stress her out much since she was dealing with so much uncertainty, I just figured that since our relationship was strong, we would figure it out no matter what. I had asked a while ago if it was possible to get a job around here, and she said no and I accepted that
She dosen't seem like she cares about anything but herself and career.