How do you bring up intimacy problems with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

[petitedollbabee]

It’s an uncomfortable conversation to have, and if communicated wrong, can make things worse.. if you’ve talked to a partner about it before, how did you approach the topic? What tips or advice can you give me?

[MrOracle]

1. Sit him down and talk to him face-to-face OUTSIDE the bedroom, not during sexy time.

2. No matter what, you must not use an angry or accusing tone or words. Take accountability for anything that might be your responsibility, and then let him know what your issues are, but in a tone of voice that says you desire finding a solution/improvement and are ready to listen to his views and are open to new ideas. You need to make it clear that you are talking with him with the goal of making things better for BOTH of you, and you hope to find solutions TOGETHER.

3. When he wants to talk, SHUT UP and let him talk, until he's gotten everything out. Even if something he says upsets you, stay in control of yourself and tell him how that thing makes you feel, and ask him if there is any way to address that issue to improve things between you. You MUST stay positive - the second you try to place blame or accuse him, etc., he's going to dig in and shut down. You must prove that you can be trusted to have an adult conversation about this, without pushing all the blame onto him. That's not to say that he won't have any responsibility for the problems - I'm sure some, perhaps most, of the responsibility is his, but it's never entirely one person's.

4. Remember constantly that your goal is to work TOGETHER for the benefit of BOTH of you. So work WITH him, not against him.

If he's at all mature emotionally, then he'll be able to have a real conversation with you, and probably improve things. If he's emotionally immature, then this is going to reveal that, and if that's the case, then you need to make some decisions.

[Friendlybro79]

I'd try hard to start off with positive things you like. There's almost always something positive you can start with and then be careful not to say this is great followed by the word but. But negates the positive. Use positive statement followed by the word and.

For ex. I want to tell you how much o enjoy when we (insert whatever applies to you) and I'd like to try something for fun. (Be ready for a suggestion that is worded without being ultra critical). I think it would be fun to do (insert positive statement) and (suggestion) as well. What do you think?

[AI Opinion]

Here to sprinkle a little love and wisdom on your dilemma! Talking about intimacy issues can feel like walking through a minefield with your eyes closed, right? The key is to approach it with as much tenderness as you'd approach a stray kitten. Start off by choosing a comfortable, private setting. Maybe light some candles, play soft music, or whatever sets a cozy scene for you two. Lead with your feelings, not the problems. Use "I feel..." instead of "You always..." — it's like wrapping your words in a warm, fluffy blanket. Remember, timing is everything. Don't bring it up right after a failed intimate moment or in the midst of a heated argument. Lastly, keep an open heart and an open mind. Listen as much as you speak, and plant seeds of understanding and patience. Who knows? This conversation might just be the miracle-grow your relationship needs. 😘

Got your own intimate conversation tips or tales? Slide into the chat and share. Let's talk love, baby!

[Mangospacho]

All right, Brad, we all know you’ve gotten up mid-stroke and walked out to address your intimacy issues.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

My wife and I both prefer a playful and humorous approach, non-confrontational, always focused on empathy and bonding first, and then switch to the serious stuff second. So when we need to talk, instead of saying, "We need to talk," in a confrontational way, we're more like, "Let's go on a walk!"

Then on the walk, we swing hands, play, laugh, and then warm up to whatever we need to discuss while feeling deeply connected.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

We're both into warming each other up that way, just like warming up before doing an intense exercise. We warm each other up emotionally. We don't tackle anything dramatic or serious out of the blue while cold.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It's the same for us with affection and intimacy. We're not the type to kiss each other out of the blue. We tend to warm each other up with laughter first, then while laughing, hug and kiss. Same thing with serious talking.

[Mark987]

I had this issue a while back. We were together for 3 years... it started off amazing but then fizziled out. She confronted me about it.. and we talked about it and even saw a therapist.. The sex was always great, but it was more just to have sex... and no intamicy/romantic. in my opinion be honest... and tell them you feel

[SolivagantRises]

Don't just bring it up suddenly. Let the conversation evolve into it first and then talk about it openly. Tell him what you like and dislike and all. The important thing is to be honest about all of it but make sure to be gentle about it. Lol.

[patrick994]

As soon as you have a moment with him, try to bring it up to him, I don't know what kind of problem you are referring to, if it is the one related to intimate problems, then sexual, my advice is to talk to him about it before the relationship.

[JacobJordan]

I don't. I pick her up carry her to the bedroom set her down and then say I am taking a shower. By the time I finish she is very very ready

[NathanDavis]

I would just do it openly... and straight to the point

that would be my partner... if anyone is to understand and I can trust, is a partner...

[LemiaOfThunder]

I'll be honest with them. If you find sex painful or uncomfortable and they flat out don't listen then they aren't one. Any Partner that actively gets a girl pregnant should be prepared for the long game.

[LemiaOfThunder]

From a personal level, I don't see the fascination about having sex but that's just me

[IslaTheWitch]

err... are there any special ways? I'm straightforward in any topic so... :D

[stratford]

Can you share more specifics about your problem? It will make it easier to help.

[Justne6977]

Just gotta sit down and be honest. I faced that issue so much. I'm high maintenance and all my exes have told me so. If u don't please me or pleasure me we gotta talk

[Pinay_ako]

You just tell them.

[jahaims]

The world is so backwards when couples think talking is more of a barrier than having sex is.

[Sam12348]

Just be honest and open up. If you are nervous your more likely to mess up what you wanna say

[Kristierose]

Just don't ignore the problem it will only get worse

[Cheerfull009]

Misunderstanding, suspicious attitude

[BarryLiverstone]

It didn’t go well