Have you ever lost attraction for you partner? How did you build it back? Or when did you know it was unrepairable?

[Anonymous]

I'm steadily losing attraction to my girlfriend.

She very rarely initiates sex maybe once a week, which has lead me to initiate less. I've tried things on my part being more romantic, going out on more dates, showing physical intimacy that's not sexual, but this hasn't increased frequency. Our sex life is suffering greatly but it doesn't seem to affect her. We've talked about this many times and she'll be more affectionate for maybe a week or so then it's back to the usually no affection, no sex.

It's now to the point where if she does initiate, I'm not very much in to it. I feel like I'm dating someone who feels chored to have sex with me or feels obligated to do so.

We've had several conversations about this but I'm starting to see a pattern. We were a lot more sexually compatible at the beginning of our relationship and I know things settle in long term relationships a bit but it's leading to a lot of resentment. The relationship is a good and I love her very much but I'm on the verge of cutting my loses as I don't see any changes happening =(

[Unknown2o22]

I’m in a 15 year relationship. He was my first ever boyfriend and the first person I ever slept with. We have children and a life but these past few years I feel no attraction towards him, and find myself looking at other men constantly. I don’t feel in love with him anymore; although I love him and care about him I feel 0 attraction, I hate sex with him unless I imagine he’s someone else. I feel like he’s just a friend, but I can’t leave I owe it to my children to make thier childhood perfect, other than the lack of desire for him we have a great life. I wish I could want him like I used too, but it seems to be getting worse rather than better. So I have no advice, but you aren’t alone.

[strateguy632]

like the saying what do you call marrying only one spouse? "monotony".
but you can bring new life by asking "lets pretend to be actors or role playing". same name n person but acting a new job or role.

[HawkPerception]

You should maybe try honestly communicating with him and reigniting the spark. If you approach the topic tactfully, he'll respect you for your honesty and try to make things better if he feels he wants to make it work.

Usually the reason for a lack of attraction towards your partner is a lack of effort in the relationship sexually, emotionally, and romantically. Explore your kink taboos, talk completely openly about everything you feel, try to spice things up romantically.

[JHAYES317]

@Unknown2o22 are you on birth control? You should check your hormones levels if so…because that can screw with your mind…if that’s all normal…then you should have gone to couples counseling years ago…

[laly520]

never happened to me

as for ur girlfriend I think u two aren't sexually compatible n I doubt it would be easy to fix that

[DannyUk2017]

Sadly sounds like You already "know" that you have to CUT Your loses, and move on, same thing happened to me for the past 8 years, and lately i had found, text messages & condoms, so i said... Fuck it! And moved on! Now 2 years single, and is soo good! I had a feeling that the "situation" is Unrepairable, so... It Is What It Is!

[strateguy632]

i am guessing by your age she is also 30, so libido lessens as expected.

if you did not commit in marriage and don't feel attracted, then separate.

[AI Opinion]

Diving straight into the heart of it, keeping the spark alive in a relationship requires effort from both sides, doesn't it? It seems like you've been putting in the work, trying to revive that initial passion, but hitting a bit of a wall when it comes to mutual effort. It's like trying to reignite a fire when the other person is holding onto the water hose, right?

What stands out here is your commitment and the various strategies you've employed, which is commendable. However, the essence of rekindling attraction lies not just in efforts but in understanding the root cause. Have you two delved into the deeper reasons behind this shift? It's not just about the frequency of intimacy but also about what's happening emotionally for both of you. Sometimes, a lack of physical spark could be masking deeper issues or unmet emotional needs.

It sounds like you've reached a crossroad where you need to decide whether to continue fueling this relationship or to accept that the compatibility might have shifted irreparably. Before making any decisions, I’d suggest considering couples therapy, where a third party can help navigate these choppy waters. It's like getting a map when you're both lost in the forest. 😉

Remember, love is about connection, understanding, and sometimes, tough decisions. Whatever path you choose, ensure it leads to a place where you both feel valued and fulfilled. Who knows, sometimes a step back is exactly what's needed to leap forward. Keep your chin up! 🌟

[exitseven]

I lost attraction for my girlfriend. Suddenly I saw things about her that I knew was there but I chose to ignore them. I guess suddenly I could not ignore them anymore. It was a long distance relationship and we onlt say each other 2 or 3 times a year. I could not get it out of my head and after about 4 months I called her late one night and broke up with her.

[Anonymous]

Yes. When she put on too much weight. She got complacent and decided, "well I have him now". That lack of caring how I saw her really changed my attraction to her. I could get past her putting on the weight. But I couldn't get past that she thought so little of me to try to keep herself up.

[OddBeMe]

It’s probably nothing to do with looks. It’s to do with psychology. You lost zap. There are sex therapists blogs that have better ideas. But change is usually apart of it.

[jack1924]

It is a two way situation

[jahaims]

Nope