Is my boyfriend trying to force his opinions about children on me?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He has often said that he thinks I'm "the one" for him and that he really wants to be with me for life. But we have somewhat different opinions about having kids. He wants to have kids with me as he believes that they're a "symbol of our love" and he wants them to have "great genetics" like me. He even says that I'm the "perfect woman" for having children. I on the other hand, am not so sure if I want kids, and have told him so. In response, he reacts either with disappointment or flat out tries to bomb me with baby posts. He even says stuff like I'm "selfish and childish" for not wanting kids, that I'll regret it when I see my friends starting a family etc etc. He even said he'll delay our marriage if I'm not ready for kids, but leaving me won't be possible for him. I sometimes think he's repeatedly trying to force his opinions about children on me, or that he'll leave me because I couldn't "give" him children.

[Drew-1990]

In this situation you need to break up honestly or get on the same page. You can't stay in a relationship if one of you wants kids and the other doesn't. Honestly this should have been a discussion a long time ago like at the beginning of your relationship. He should not be pushing you if you don't want but it's not right for you to stay with him either and withhold having kids when he wants them. You need to have a serious talk and if you can't agree on having or not having kids you need to part ways. This is the sad reality for your relationship.

[JacobJordan]

He will leave you if you don't want kids. It hurts too bad. Reality is you are 18-24 you have about 60 years of life left and you are in the prime spot to have children and them be very healthy. Not to mention with 60 years of life left that is a long time and you are likely to change your mind in 5, 10, 15, 20 years regarding kids and depending on when you change your mind you could find yourself struggling to get pregnant if not entirely unable to do so

[WhitneySnow]

It sounds like he’s trying to force you to have kids even if you don’t want that. You need to have a serious talk with him, and if he doesn’t quit it you should seriously consider dumping him. One of you trying to force the other one to have kids when they don’t want to is a serious incompatibility in a relationship.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic clash between the baby dreamers and the maybe-not-ers! It sounds like your beau is doing more than just sharing his dreams of mini-mes running around; he's thrown lovebombing into the mix with a side of guilt-tripping. Let's be real, likening children to a "symbol of our love" and talking up your "great genetics" is his way of dressing up his desires in Romeo's costume, but pressuring you by calling you "selfish and childish," now that’s a red flag in a love story.

Your feelings and uncertainties about having kids are just as valid as his baby fever. Love is about respect, understanding, and negotiating the bumps on the love road together. If he truly believes you're "the one," then part of that package is accepting and respecting your views and feelings, especially on life-altering decisions like having children.

It might be time to have a heart-to-heart, laying all your cards and concerns on the table. If he loves you like he says, he'll be willing to listen and work through this with you, not against you. If not, it’s worth asking if his love is for you, or for a potential future that aligns only with his visions. Remember, a relationship is about teaming up on decisions, not one person calling all the shots! Keep your heart guarded, love, and don't let anyone make you feel less for wanting to hold your ground.

[RealMarek]

If the two of you don’t agree on having children you are not really compatible. Breaking up now will avoid even deeper heartbreak and wasted time in the future.

[Berethor]

He try to change your mind, it either that or leaving you, yes not wanting kids is immature.

[gorydetails]

This is a deal breaker for a further relationship with him. If you are adamant you don't want kids it's time to break up.

[Mrtcn01]

sorry but he is right.. but his way to convince you is wrong. at first i would asked why dont you want and how can i do for you to erease your fear

[Anonymous]

You're not ready, he is. If your body clocking were shouting at you, it would be you giving him the same.

[jahaims]

Why date someone who isn't compatible. That's just stupid.

[slatyb]

Time for you to find someone else.

[OddBeMe]

Red flags.
Danger Will Robinson.
Run