What’s the difference between being told “I want you” and “I need you”?

Question

CaptainChaoss · Accepted Answer

An interesting short story you won't hear anywhere.
I used to lead a competitive gaming team in a game called 'Rust' with 20 players and some of them were girls. I'm a guy myself.

I've trained them, raised them and guided them into becoming a fully fledged respectable player and teammate. It was a group of 20 people. Great experience. (Note that this was not a job, I paid nobody and did not get paid myself, the prize money would go back into the team.)

I've told them that I needed them every single time. Never have I said that I wanted them, because that explains nothing and can cause misunderstanding.

*During a competition*
'Come on brother/girl, we are this close to succeeding. We have been in this together, if you're not here, nobody is. We can't do this without you. We need you here! We want you here too! If we lose, we lose together, if we win, we win together. We literally don't lose at that point.'

These were my honest words during competition and I said this to each person where needed. It was never a speech.

If I told them: 'I want you to play with us, you're good at the game.' That tells them there is no urgency here and it's in self-interest.

If I told her: 'I want you, you're the prettiest girl I know.' That's just a compliment.
'Girl I need you to be mine, I can't settle with anyone else now I know that you exist.'

'Want you' is more a pickup line
'Need you' is more show of affection and need

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Accepted Answer

A lot of people just throw about words they saw in a rom-com or read in a poem without really thinking about it means. So I am not in favor of judging people based on their words this much over their actions. We do it carelessly all the time. You can't judge someone harshly for doing this or else we are all condemned.

But "need" is a very unhealthy way to express love between adults in my book. Adults are supposed to be self-sufficient.

That's like an heroin addict expressing a need for heroin. It's not necessarily even the case that they like heroin, they just need it and suffer withdrawal symptoms without it. There is no free will in expressing a need for heroin, just an addiction.

I'm not sure if anyone ever wants heroin but take someone who is satisfied drinking a glass or two of wine for dinner, and they love wine. Those people genuinely love wine without needing it whatsoever. They even appreciate it on a weird level to me swirling the glass and sniffing it and listening to it and saying like, "I can hear the 17-year old Spaniard who helped stepped on the grapes to make this wine for me, along with the dogs barking and the crickets chirping, and the taste of the oak barrel -- someone dropped their keys in the oak barrel I think -- car keys, 1984 Honda Accord."

You know, they really love wine and they choose it freely. Not the wino. The wino just needs wine. So true love between adults is expressed through desires, not needs.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

"I want you" is all about desire. It's passionate and exciting, like you're the missing puzzle piece for a good time. "I need you" feels deeper. It means you bring something essential, like security or understanding, that makes them feel complete. One is hot and fun, the other is warm and safe.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

it depends on the person... some people use those statements interchangeably... some put more value in "need" and some in "want"... You know the best what kind of person told you that.

but both statements are quite selfish...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving into the deep end of love vocab, are we? "I want you" is like that spicy text that sends your heart on a little salsa dance—the kind where you feel desired, like a cherry on top of their life’s sundae. It's all about attraction and desire, making you feel like the star in this romantic comedy we call life.

On the flip side, "I need you" is heavier, like that emotional scene that has you reaching for the tissues. It speaks to a deeper connection, suggesting that you're not just an extra, but a crucial character in their story. Sometimes, though, it can come with a side of pressure, as it implies dependence rather than just mutual admiration and desire.

Both can be heart-fluttering, but the key? Balance, darling. A pinch of desire with a spoonful of need makes the recipe for a blockbuster romance. 🌹💫

coachTanthony · Answer

Saying to someone you need them is very controlling. It basically is saying they can't live without you which makes you feel obligated in someway to stay.

AviatorTom · Answer

"I want you" is sexual, while "I need you" is emotional.

DJB72 · Answer

"I want you" is something I'd say to my SO to indicate my desire for her - usually physical.

"I need you" is something a stalker or a manipulative "partner" says in my experience. I've never said it and I've never heard anyone in a healthy relationship say it except in a qualified sense - I need you to...

Valdemort · Answer

If meant in a desired, emotional manner:

- I want you = I can live by myself, I'm satisfied with who I am, but my life would be better with you in it.
- I need you = my life is based around you and I don't want it to move forward without you in it.

molonski2 · Answer

I want you is sexual ( Search the Bob Dylan song , incredible ) I need you = emotional want , frankly , you need a combination of both to have a working scenario.

WintersDaughter · Answer

"I want you" is someone seeing every part of you, the good and the bad, the flaws and imperfections and vulnerabilities and still being with you.

"I need you" is desperation. It's clingy and obsessive.

That being said, a lot of new couples in that "honeymoon" phase will be in that "I need you" stage, it will progress into the "I want you" stage. Most relationships have both, but the "I need you" is not that extreme.

pinkchampagne97 · Answer

Well personally I would be more happy if someone tells me they want me 😅 I need you sounds like more I need your capabilities than I want the person you are.. I want you is more like romantic and showing attraction and desire for the person because of the person he or she is, I believe here the emotional part is considered too while I need you for me sounds like I just need you physically.. but again from the person I love and I’m in relationship with I would want to hear both..

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe this!

LiamS95 · Answer

A need is a requirement and a want is a desire but not necessarily a need.

Iron_Man · Answer

it could mean many things I want you for sex or you’re a wonderful person I want you in my life. I need you can be in terms of I can’t live without you all kinds of different scenarios. You have to ask your partner if you’re curious about exactly what he means

12karen · Answer

I need you is like you're the only one and I'm desperate for you, please babe, I need you, I can't live without you... Lol
I want you is like, yeah you but if you're sure you don't want me, as much as I want you, I'll try to move on easily and want someone else easily

AlexEfron · Answer

One will dump you, the other will stick to you like a leech.

Honestly, I don't value what people say. They can say "I want you", "I love you", "I need you", "I miss you" ... makes no difference to me. It's very rare that people are true to their words.

NathanDavis · Answer

I prefer to be choice for happiness, not a solution... to a problem

nawtee_me · Answer

Need tends to let the person know that with them life is better somehow. Where want tends to let them know that temporarily or “ for now” is the intention.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Hmmm, good question.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I want you is sexual I need you means I need you in every way its way deeper that just wanting you

Jamie05rhs · Answer

"I need you" is someone who wants to take my money. "I want you" is the same person, but they're just lying and hiding their true intentions.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I’ve never told a woman that “I need her” in my life no matter how strongly I felt it.

Dongie · Answer

Like this: if you want a drink being thirsty;& you are dehydrated from crossing the desert then you need a drink.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

None.  They probably just want to fuck either way

82lynx · Answer

I think Elvis would have known more about it than any of us do now.

KrisKris81 · Answer

I would say want is lust and need is desire.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

One is sexual, one has a deeper meaning. Than sex

SoJust · Answer

I think you should look ahead

noohair · Answer

You can't always get what you want.

jimmy2 · Answer

Big difference the desire against the need

GeekmanTexk · Answer

Common sense bitch

MarkPayne · Answer

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