Is it selfish when your boyfriend/girlfriend play games instead of taking care of their partner?

[gayesblog]

[Purpleronnie]

It may be? , it may not be? there is not enough context here. What does “taking care of their partner mean?, is this because of sickness? Why does the partner need taking care of? Gaming time should be viewed just like any other hobby or interest whether they are in the next room or in the next town. Couples need their time apart to do their own thing and also make time for them as a couple that don’t fall apart because of either person. Assuming the partner isn’t flaking on plans made or avoiding spending time as a couple because of their interest then there shouldn’t really be an issue. We should never put pressure on our partners to not have their own interests and always choose us , that’s controlling and toxic.


The advice here is basic , agree times where they can have their time gaming without being made to feel that they are choosing gaming over their partner… simple.

[NamerOfStars]

Of course not- it's no different from any other hobby or recreation; you don't stop doing these things just because you're dating someone.

There's room for reasonably asking they spend more time with you, but demanding someone leave behind everything they love that you may occupy their every waking moment is textbook controlling behavior.

[PeachyPie93]

It defo is but that's why if you can't handle a gamer don't date one. My ex I was with for years, when he got a new final fantasy or game he was really into he would sit there for days just playing and drinking energy drink (he would book off work too). He still made me grab him things and make him food, yet just sat there like a filthy pig. I learned to just ignore him, but that is not the type of person I would put up with again.

[jennifer_bloom]

I don’t mind a guy with hobbies cause I think I would want to have periods away from my partner to release the feeling of constriction. I would want to be with my guy 60-70% of my non productive hours, but not 100% of the time. Just like, a little bit of chocolate is nice, but too much makes you feel sick.

[Sirenboobzilla]

ONLY if he plays way too much. I'm talking excessive like all day after work and weekends.

My boyfriend and I both play video games. He plays far more than I do, but we do play together at times.

That said, I know that it's his way of venting his daily frustrations and a bit if an escape from the real world. Also a way for him to be with his buddies and be social.

When it's his gaming time, I leave him alone. That's his space and time to relax. He usually limits himself to 2 hours on work days and then tends to me and anything else he needs to do.

I will say he's good at holding off if there's a lot to do. Like if it's his turn to cook or clean, fix something, etc.

[MrOracle]

That's exactly the kind of balance that everyone should be doing and expecting. He needs his time, but you deserve some of it too, and vice versa.

[snowboarder720]

If they need to game for personal time and distress that’s completely fine.
If they feel the need to game 24/7 it’s obviously excessive and a problem that they need to control.


My solution is to agree to have a game night (s) per week and the rest of the week will be spending quality time with your partner.

[ProbablyClueless]

Could be... but, sometimes it's also an important part of de-stressing.

The ability to disconnect and take a break is extremely important in caregiving roles. If you ever work in a field like social work, where you're taking care of special needs people or you're in direct care at a nursing home; the companies make a point of urging their people to take breaks to avoid burnout.

[NathanDavis]

instead of... is, replacing

if you're being replaced then you don't really have a partner

[IslaTheWitch]

Nope, everyone needs some time for themselves. If it's agreed upon when and how long, it's totally fine.

[Anonymous]

No. Of course not. How is that selfish? You mean if you were sick or something or you just wanting attention all the time? Now if he was playing it 24/7 that would be different. But please define what you mean by taking care of you.

[Kaneki05]

If you mean taking care while they are sick then of course. If not then no?
If one can't do what they enjoy why would they be with that said person.

[LittleMelissa9614]

Honestly yes. It shows you don't care about your partner and only care about yourself. Both partners should take care of each other. It goes both ways.

[Astarlessnightsky]

No, everyone has their hobbies and thats good. Some can be done together others are done alone.

[VV3ZZY123]

I dont game a lot anymore. Wasted too much of my life.
Those Hours Add up!
You'll think "I'm just gonna play for a half hour" then you look outside and it's dark and its 3am.

[LaurenM1997]

I’d let my man play his game but not all day

[WhitneySnow]

Yes if it’s all the time but everyone needs a break sometimes

[Sirius1]

It’s not if they’re able to find a balance. It’s called a schedule and within relationships, it’s called having priorities.

[handsomelad70]

Yes, but that's quite common in relationships.

[Bobby88t]

No problem at all i would be glad if i find a gamer girl.
i allow anything for her even ball busting😅

[msc545]

Sometimes playing games is a good way to de-stress.

[Anonymous]

Fo admins select their own questions as Great amd feature them? Just asking lol

[Anonymous]

There's a time for your partner and a time for yourself. You just need to know not to go over board with either of them

[Slim57]

It's selfish when you put more time into any for fun activities over your s/o

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

I like to multi- tasking talk to my partner whenever I play a game on her!