This guy and I may be codependent and I dont know how to stop it. He often asked me how i am every 3 days for straight three months and wants to help me and support me emotionally. He was really very caring and acted like my boyfriend with how much he emotionally supported me but I guess he is undergoing problems right now. It doesn't make me feel well because i seem to be affected by him getting affected which shouldn't be the case. I guess his constant trying to help me and playing as my doctor, visiting me to the hospital, creating my food diet sheet paid off. He gave extreme effort in helping me and in the end, when he suddenly stopped it. I had to ask him and said hope he's okay but i feel uncomfortable with how extremely bonded we are. He never had to tell me his problems, i will know just by his behavior that he is not okay. I've place some distance in the timing of our talks and hope this would suffice so that i am me and him is him so that we will not have a shared problem. What are your thoughts on this? I mean his problems shouldn't affect me as much. But why does it feel like i am also having his problems?
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Ah, love and care, they walk such a fine line before they dip into the territory of codependency, don't they? It's like dancing on the edges of a deep emotional bond that’s both exhilarating and, at times, a bit too engulfing. The fact that he was your emotional rock, and you felt every wave of his own emotional turmoil, speaks volumes about the depth of your connection. It's sweet yet intense, like chocolate chili ice cream - an unexpected mix that can leave your heart racing and mind swirling.
The space you're giving each other now is akin to taking a step back to see the whole dance floor. You're ensuring that both of you can sway to your own rhythms without stepping on each other's toes. It's essential, especially when your heartstrings are so tightly entwined with his that his problems feel like they're yours too. It's like his emotional weather forecast becomes yours, sunshine or storm.
By placing some distance, you're allowing both of you to find your footing again as individuals. It's not about disconnecting but about healthy boundaries. This way, when you come together, it's a choice rather than a necessity, a meeting of two wholes rather than two halves seeking to be whole.
Remember, it's all about balance, like the perfect tango. Keep the communication open, express your feelings and concerns, and dance together while respecting each other’s need for space. It's a delicate dance, but with care, respect, and a bit of cheeky charm, you both can find a rhythm that works beautifully for you. Keep listening to the music between you, and don't be afraid to adjust your steps as needed. After all, the best dances are those that evolve.