Guy friend and I are attached and we are both commitment phobes?

[Ofoceansbeaches]

We both are commitment phobes and lately we've been frequently flying to each other's cities a lot.

I really enjoy his company and he said he enjoys mine as well. He says he loves me a lot and one time told me he can't help but care for me and told me I am important and meant so much to him. When I'm in his city, he just radiates happiness and we keep on laughing.

He once said he needs me because whenever we are together, he is always laughing. He laughs but not as much with his friends.

The last time we talked, I was about to go back to my city, he kept convincing me to stay in his city. Then backtracked and said he has already convinced me but nothing can be said if it's my decision. Then, onto the last part stated that he lives a very lonely life. I asked him what about the other people, he said they have other friends.

I feel I should choose my city because my family is here. But at the same time I cannot deny that I feel so happy when I'm with him. He cares a lot for me. What do you think should I do about this?

[Oliverlogan263]

That's a tricky situation for sure. On one hand, it sounds like this guy really cares about you and you have a great connection. Nobody makes each other laugh like that unless there's real chemistry, you know? And it's cool he's opening up about feeling lonely too.

But at the same time, I get your worry about commitment since you're both avoiding that. Moving cities would be a huge step, even if you're not officially together. My advice would be to really think about what you want long term - is this just a fun thing for now? Or could you see it getting serious someday? You've gotta be honest with yourself there.

I'd say keep spending time together but don't rush into anything permanent yet. See how you both feel in a few months. Maybe have a conversation about where you both see it going eventually so you're on the same page. But in the end, you gotta do what's right for you. Your fam is important too. Don't want you getting in over your head, but don't wanna lose what could be a great thing either. Tough call, trust your gut!

[Alex8736]

Maybe keep it friends with benefits where there's no strings attached