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My girlfriend (fiancé) has been dealing with a lot and she’s been in California with her son for his medical issues (kidney and stem cell transplant). When she first left we would talk a bunch and FaceTime and call but now that’s died off completely and she’s like the cinderella of her family and she has to do everything even though she’s in Cali and we both live in North Carolina. She’s been under a lot of stress with her son and her family in NC. Lately I’ve been feeling weird like she’s losing the spark for us she doesn’t text first she will go all days without talking to me we don’t talk on the phone and text. She’s started to say love you instead of I love you. She’s been very short and distant and I don’t want to bring more stress onto her plate and tbh I’m scared to ask her if me and her are good cause I have been and she keeps saying we are good we are fine etc. do you think it’s just the stress or is she distancing herself and getting ready for a breakup she’s a mature women and I don’t feel like she’d lie she doesn’t have time to play games and stuff so I don't know. I don't know if that makes sense but I doubt she is cheating cause her son and mom are there and she’s donating a kidney and stem cells to him but they do say when text get shorter with you they get longer with someone else. Should I just take it as it is and believe it’s just her being stressed and mentally tired and stuff? Also when we had a date when she came home last week she was very distant and closed off and then she broke down in the car crying saying she’s sorry she couldn’t afford to get me a birthday gift and she’s sorry she didn’t have more time with me.
So I don't know what to believe is she losing us or is she just mentally not present in the relationship
So I don't know what to believe is she losing us or is she just mentally not present in the relationship
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Can you afford to take a week off work and visit her in California? If you make that offer and she rejects it, THEN I would be concerned.
I haven’t been making the offer and she’s brought it up but with appointments changing and her son doing chemo and her starting her shots to donate stem cells she hasn’t told me a schedule also it hasn’t been brought up in awhile cause I can and would in a heartbeat go see her
I just don’t want to push her cause she is under a lot of stress and I don't know if that’s why she’s acting the way she is and I don’t wanna bring it up cause I have been and she keeps saying. We are good so I don't know if I should just believe her
You are saying "We are good" but in your original post, you said, "I’m scared to ask her if me and her are good." If you honestly think you two are good, then you should know that she needs your support but may be afraid to ask for it. The thing to do is not to ask her. Be a man, take charge of the situation, tell her you are going to visit her and you'll let her know when you have booked your flight. That may be PRECISELY what she secretly is hoping for.
Could be very well!
And she always says she wants a man to take charge and I always do! But this situation has me confused as hell I don't know if she wants space or if she wants support….
Also maybe she’s going through a rough time and she knows our relationship is stable and she doesn’t and can’t be present in it at the moment.
But I have asked if we are good and she keeps saying yes but I’m the type that needs more than that honestly cause from my perspective when I tell someone we are good it could mean either or
Go visit her in California and you will get your answer. Are you ready for that?
Her son is dying so I don’t think I can go without asking
But financially yes
@ Opinion Owner I’m a female jar head go back in your trailer u r dense your advice is wrong I’m giving him real facts you sound stupid
@Opinion Owner do you suggest he marries a woman and take care of her bastards listen to yourself lol
dddd please find a female with no kids and if she has kids mk sure it’s a divorcee not a baby mama
She deserves much better than your measly efforts , and a younger guy wasting her time
How am I wasting her time
Do share
Because I am concerned about our relationship?
She deserves a man who marries and takes care of her kids. Not a younger kid adding upto the burden
I proposed to her knowing she has kids
I proposed to her knowing she has all of this going on
She said yes knowing all this would happen
If you spent ever day with someone and with the snap of your fingers they are on the other side of the country for 5/6 months and actions have changed and you want her and to be a family and a father to her kids you’d be the same way
When you are fighting for her to be there for her to fly there to help her to ease the burden and stress then tell me what’s what when you offer her grocery money and gas money and it’s denied cause she sees it as a handout then talk when all you want to do is take care of her during this time then talk
I get I am stressing and adding more into her plate by questioning her love etc but it’s hard going from being together to nothing it isn’t easy to adjust to especially since I love her to death so yeah it’s hard and what does she have to do with anything but if it was an older man and a younger girl that’s okay?
The plan is when she gets back to look for a place to move in together
A guy can’t be fearful of losing his love? Is that so wrong?
And yes I care about her kid so much and would do anything for him!
If u actually cared u would have been there with her supporting her financially and mentally, lol
You understand that not everyone can just take off of work for months and months snd who said I don’t want to be I keep trying to schedule something but it doesn’t follow through well she doesn’t
That kid is not his keep your measly opinion to yourself
See. A real father and husband wouldn’t have given that answer , he won’t give excuses
I’ve been trying and trying and trying to get out there and it isn’t my place to just show up or force it
Lol 😂 this is why younger guys are immature. Just leave her already
No one is making an excuse you know how many times I’ve brought it up only for it to fall on deaf ears, I keep saying I can come out a couple times a month I just need you to find out the schedules for everything so we can plan around those cause I don’t want to take you away from your kid. Hell they got to Cali he had multiple seizures pushing everything back and changing everything so I can’t force my self onto her she had to want it
Lol 😂 this is why younger guys are immature. Just leave her already
You have serious issues
U have issues. Stop troubling the poor lady
Don’t listen to these idiots. That is not your child. It’s another state you have a Jo and apt to keep up. Where’s the child’s father? She’s suppose to keep in touch with you. if she doesn’t try to get your ring back and ffuucckkk her. She probably with another guy that’s why she don’t keep in touch. Stop worrying get the address where she at and see if she contacts u if not take her to court if she don’t give ring back you r young don’t get involved with female with kids. What race are you and your astrology both I can tell u more
Are you lost? How am I troubling her at all? I’m fucking fighting to be with her and there for her are you dumb
@Jkgordon f***** pretending to be a female. We know u aren’t a female
Don’t listen to these idiots. That is not your child. It’s another state you have a Jo and apt to keep up. Where’s the child’s father? She’s suppose to keep in touch with you. if she doesn’t try to get your ring back and ffuucckkk her. She probably with another guy that’s why she don’t keep in touch. Stop worrying get the address where she at and see if she contacts u if not take her to court if she don’t give ring back you r young don’t get involved with female with kids. What race are you and your astrology both I can tell u more
The father is not in the picture and hasn’t been since he was born and she is in Cali with her dying son and her mother and she’s donating stem cells and a kidney I doubt she’s out cheating
What is your problem dude
Do not listen to that opinion owner thing. That person is dumb as dumb can get. I gave you good advice im a female and I know that if she’s not texting you it’s because she’s occupied. if she cared about relationship she would need you to talk with she has someone else shoulder to lean on TRUST ME as desperate as girls are she would be calling u every 5 minutes to make sure u ain’t cheating BUT she's NOT that speaks volumes e-mail me direct and block the idiots from responding to you sound like old dusty farts that are poor living in trailers smoking old cigarettes
@ Opinion Owner I’m a smart female at the time I’m not sure what you are besides poor trailer park ur response is so stupid like do you even have a tv in your house?
ddddd u r not wasting her time she’s wasting yours move on and get your ring back hopefully u find a decent person without kids what’s your astrology sign and hers