My soul mate was a gay guy? Why can't I find "the one" who is available to be mine?

[Crimsyjo]

After my marriage ended (to a weak goal-less but kind man) I found a gay best friend. He was very strong and manly despite being gay. He was the right level of dominant and goal orientated that I liked. We had such good laughs. Fun. Could be so content in eachothers company. We slept cuddling st night and did chores and dinner together. Our friendship crossed boundaries and we did actually love eachother. We acted like a couple in all ways except that one thing - sexual orientation- meant it could never be. Since then I have had two bad bad relationships whilst searching for similar traits in straight men. Maybe he is out there? The one that just fits? But it's so hard searching!

[LordMadara]

I wish women would stop playing mind games and stop the practice of their outdated & flawed mate selection program coz clearly its not working out for them (Shooting aimlessly and randomly even at their own feet)

[LiamS95]

Don't give up hope, he's out there and probably looking for someone like you.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the heart's mysteries, aren't we? 😏 It sounds like you've had quite the journey, discovering deep connections where you least expected them. That soulmate vibe? It's a rare gem, sparkling with inside jokes and cuddle sessions. But here's the twist – love doesn't always follow the rules we set. Your experience with your gay best friend? It's like finding the perfect pair of shoes in the wrong size. Fits like a dream but not quite made for walking life's path together.

Your quest for "the one" with similar vibes in straight men feels like a roller coaster, huh? Each dip and dive teaching you more about what makes your heart tick. But darling, don't view it as searching for a needle in a haystack. Think of it as tuning into your own radio station—where only the tunes that make your heart sing get airtime.

The kicker? Traits like dominance and goal orientation are sprinkled across the spectrum of humanity like stardust. The unique blend that clicked with your friend exists in a straight guy too, and he's wandering about, probably wondering where you are. The universe loves a love story, after all.

So, keep your heart open and your vibes high. Your experiences, the good, the bad, and the cuddly, are all signposts, guiding you closer to "the one." Trust the journey, lovely. Love tends to surprise us, often when we least expect it. And I'll be here, cheering for your love story's next chapter. 🌟💖

[Billlewis]

Don't give up; the right guy is out there somewhere, and it's only a matter of time before you find him.

[OfMiceandMen]

Have you discussed this with your gay friend, perhaps he knows a straight guy that he thinks has similar characteristics to what he has. Can't hurt to ask.

[Crimsyjo]

Oh we stopped being friends years ago. It was extremely tricky for us to find true partners when so intimate with eachother.

[OfMiceandMen]

Interesting, that is an unusual relationship for a gay guy. I spoke to my gay friend and he said he's never had any urges to be with a woman. We openly discuss these things all the time.

[patois]

You're attracted to gay men. Clearly you're not going to find a straight guy that is compatible with you.

[Crimsyjo]

Well I was attracted to his personality and qualities. Being gay didn't change that. It only changed who he pursued sexually.

[patois]

I'd say being gay is a huge part of your personality. If you like gay personality traits, you're not looking for straight guys.

[Crimsyjo]

Erm. I think some people have preconceptions about what a gay person acts like? Probably largely influenced by TV and celebrity stars. But I don't think my friend being strong, dominant, funny, flirty, goal-orientated, assertive, confident etc are traits associated with only gay men. In fact most people probably presume gay men are effeminate, thin, fashion-orientated, bitchy, high voices etc. But just like "straight people" gay people come in all shapes and personality styles lol

[patois]

Gay people pretty much focus 90% of their identity on their sexual orientation. You can see it exhibited by the LGTBQ+ community all day everyday. They are hollow shells of people. It's such a huge part of their life, they fail to have much else to show for themselves.

[patois]

This is true all the way from when they are say 15 years old up to 60. They don't seem to know how to detach from their sexuality and just be people.

[Crimsyjo]

I guess my friend was one of the 10% then lol

[patois]

I didn't say 90% gay people. I said 90% of their personality is consumed by their sexuality. I'm sure his was as well, you're just attracted to gay humor and shit like that because you're broken.

[patois]

Another thing you probably confuse is your perception of dominance. As a woman, you seek attention. You want to be the center of attention. That makes women feel sexy and dominate in a room. Gay men tend to be flamboyant, and they try to peacock and dress loud and in line with fashion trends to signal to other gay men and be noticeable. So what you view as dominate from a feminine point of view is completely different than masculine dominance but feminine dominance is similar to how gay dudes act which from a male perspective is very distant and alien from dominant behavior.

[DrPepper12]

He's out there. At your age there's a lot to offer potentials. Let it happen organically or take a turn at bat for the girls team...

[Berethor]

So you are looking for mr. perfect, at that age? yea sure, I don't believe in soul mates.

[Crimsyjo]

Yh exactly. My age and not found him yet!

[OddBeMe]

Well…(cracks knuckles)…there are no soul mates, sounds like you subconsciously formed around this guy at a sensitive moment when your marriage ended. And he does sound like a cool guy. Keep him as a cool gay friend and keep looking for romance.

[GawkVoidArisen]

Haha, that is kinda funny!! its cool having friends like that!!!

Would you likeee another? :O I need someone to talk with

[jahaims]

You aren't desirable to the type of guy you want

[Crimsyjo]

Haha. Funny you can say that whilst knowing nothing about my ambitions, career, education, goals, desires, personality or anything else about me?

[jahaims]

You took a vague opinion based on vague information way too seriously. This is an opinion forum full of strangers. No shit I don't know you. I gave my opinion based on the limited data set given. Your insecurities are showing.

[eagle1951]

keep looking