Men want paternity tests done from their partners, are they right?

[Anonymous]

But, I’m curious about something. In what ways do you believe your partner cheated on you? What signs do you believe she showed she was with another guy?
Of course men have every right to know if their kids are biological theirs, but what if she showed no signs?
I just want to know what goes on through your minds when you find out your partner is pregnant. Do you instantly believe she cheated? Even when you plan on building a family?

Updates

1 y

Here’s another question: If you truly believe your partner has been with another man, why not break up? I’m mostly curious. What is stopping you from ending the relationship if you don’t trust your partner? I mean, are you scared of leaving? I just want to know.

[Chazmatazz269]

Doesn’t matter if she’s honest or a good liar or bad. Paternity tests should simply be matter of fact until and unless they allow men the privilege of financial severance.
As the laws pretty much everywhere currently stand, women have all the options and men have all the responsibility. If she wants to keep a baby and wants support, she gets it. He’s not even guaranteed any parenting rights for his contribution. If she wants to keep it, but wants to exclude the father, he’s out. Unless he is wealthy and influential enough to control judges. If she wants to abort it, he has no say in the matter unless she expects him to pay for it. The only meaningful difference from state to state is this: if a mother decides to carry to term and give the child up for adoption, some states expect him to sue for custody of his own child. Others actually have a process for it. At least one excludes the father exactly the same as if she were having an abortion.
Somehow, the feminists claim to see no privilege in this clear hierarchy of rights and privileges vs responsibilities. But if the roles were reversed, it would be holy hell to pay and “burn the patriarchy down!”. Insanity.

[Asker]

Do you have kids of your own?

[Chazmatazz269]

Probably.

[Asker]

What do you mean probably? How many women have you slept with?

[Chazmatazz269]

I don’t know. I stopped counting when i realized how juvenile that is. I could figure it out, but it doesn’t really matter.
“Probably” isn’t some secret high level code. I probably have a kid, but i don’t know for sure. A woman told me she was pregnant and that i was the father. She also told me that i could help financially but she didn’t want it or need it and that i’d never have any rights to the child. I never saw her again. Maybe she was pregnant. Maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she had an abortion or a miscarriage. Maybe i’ve got a kid out there somewhere. I don’t really have reason to doubt her and i think miscarriage is unlikely. So i PROBABLY have a kid. But i don’t know for sure.

[OlderAndWiser]

"If she wants to keep it, but wants to exclude the father, he’s out." I don't know about other states, but that is not the law in Florida. A father can sue to establish paternity, start paying child support, and get visitation privileges just like fathers in divorce cases. Fathers can get up to 50% of the time with the child.

[Chazmatazz269]

What the laws permit doesn’t reflect what is actually happening in court. I live in one of the most progressive states in the country and women STILL get custody in nearly 80% of contested cases. Nationwide the average is over 90%. That’s still beside the point. As i suggested, mothers and fathers are not treated equally under the law. Women don’t have to sue to establish custody or register as “putative father”. So offering men that “privilege” is oppression by comparison. I’m curious if you know if Florida requires fathers to have a mother’s consent in order to get a DNA test. Many states do.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have been practicing law in Florida since 1986.

No, a father can get a DNA test without the mother's consent in Florida. The court orders the parties and child to submit to DNA testing. Father's do not get 50/50 custody of very young children because very few of them really want it, but it is very common with school age children.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have never fathered a child or been involved as a party to paternity testing, but I have some experience as an attorney handling paternity cases. Usually, I think that putative fathers don't have strong suspicions that their partner cheated, but the consequences of accepting paternity are so great that they should make sure of the facts before assuming those responsibilities. Remember, a woman KNOWS if someone else may have been the father, while the putative father usually has no basis for knowing if the mother had sex with anyone else at the relevant time.

[OlderAndWiser]

RESPONSE TO UPDATE. I have the same question. If you don't trust your partner, why wait for some confirmation that she has violated your trust?

[Asker]

@OlderAndWiser I find it funny that suddenly no one has an answer to that question. They just go silent.

[OlderAndWiser]

I think some people make the fuss that they think is expected when they discover cheating, but they are insecure about their ability to ever attract another partner, or they simply don’t have the energy to start over.

I was dating in my sixties and got married five weeks ago. It’s NEVER too late to find love. . . if you are willing to make the effort.

[Juxtapose]

@Peridot25 oh this is easy as fuck to answer.

Trust but verify. If you don't verify, well..

People who are betrayed are betrayed by those they blindly trusted. Don't be a fool.

[osmanthus]

This man is just taking precautions. He's not outright accusing you but he probably doesn't want to take care of someone else's baby.

If you never cheated, and the test shows different, something else is amiss medically that requires the doctor to check your cells and if you suspect someone raped you whilst you were unconscious, say so.

Some men jump on the assumption that a paternity test is fool proof but that's not 100% true and doesn't always reflect what actually happened or is the case.

[osmanthus]

The same applies to coercive rape; wherein you were conscious but were raped and possibly felt ashamed to tell your partner or threatened by whomsoever raped you. Whatever the case ends up being, if you did not cheat, then a test will likely read accurately to assuage his fears or suspicion.

[osmanthus]

Semi-consciousness under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not considered consent, so, if you weren't sure whether some other man did whilst you were inebriated or other, state this upfront. It's still classed as rape.

[osmanthus]

Especially if the other man was fully conscious, in the case of being under the influence of some drug either taken knowingly or not. It's still an indictable offense or crime to claim otherwise that consent could have been given without proof showing so.

[sheikalana]

Is the fear that they might be raising a child that is not theirs unwillingly. Honestly most men I've spoke with have this fear. It's a serious thing. I don't blame them. If you see the statistics you would be surprised with the number of kids that are being raised by a Man that is not their biological father and they no idea.

[Asker]

What if their partner showed no signs of cheating? Do men still have that fear their partner was unfaithful no matter what?

[sheikalana]

I believe so.

[Asker]

So basically they’re just going to be in a relationship built on lack of trust.

[Asker]

Unfortunately, that’s how relationships are these days. That’s why people are seeking hookups and nothing real.

[sheikalana]

I'm just giving you my opinion based on my experience. I've had at least three male acquaintances telling me this. The best person to answer you would be a Man. In the end of the day even if you trust someone we all have our own internal fears but I agree with you that nowadays dating culture is completely f*ckd up.

[Asker]

It’s why I’m remaining single until my last day on Earth.

[sheikalana]

That's your personal choice if that makes you happy no one should judge your decision.

[osmanthus]

I agree with sheikalana.

If you feel being a spinster or single mother or single (adopted child or other) is how you'll be living your best life, then it's a personal choice. Although others, in an idealized society, wouldn't judge others harshly for this decision, there will exist people who do—whether they express this, or not, some will have reservations and beliefs about women choosing this for themselves as much as they have assertions about anybody who is not behaving and acting in the stereotypically heteronormative way. There are people out there who share the same sentiments, of that, I'm sure.

[Dibamba]

Yes, I have

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that flutter through a man's mind upon hearing about a partner's pregnancy can be as complex as a love story with a twist. It's not always about doubting fidelity or assuming she cheated. But hey, let's sprinkle a bit of reality dust here. Trust and communication are the rock stars of any relationship. If a guy jumps straight into the "she must have cheated" pond without any reason, we might be looking at a red flag waving in the love breeze, signaling trust issues that need some serious tending to.

Now, for the nitty-gritty part. If there were signs or whispers of infidelity – unexplained absences, secrecy with phones, sudden changes in behavior, or an emotional disconnect – it could ignite the spark of doubt. But, let's not forget, relationships thrive on assurance and openness. Lovebombing our way through doubts with honest conversations can sometimes reveal insecurities rather than infidelities.

In the heart of planning a family, love and trust should lead the dance. It's about believing in each other and the dream you're building together. If paternity wonders do arise, it's crucial to address them with sensitivity, understanding that it's not the questioning, but the way we question, that keeps the love flame burning bright.

[Apple1996]

I honestly think a lot of men just want to DNA test their kids in hopes that they aren't their biological kid and they won't have to pay child support

[MasterKS]

@Apple1996 seed analysing! LOL

[Juxtapose]

More like we want to make sure the kid we are raising is actually ours due to some startling statistics.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose if your already raising the kid then why would it matter? It would just be hurting a innocent child to leave the only dad they've ever known

[Chazmatazz269]

That’s not the would-be dad’s doing though. It would be the deceitful mother’s. If she’s SO concerned about hurting the kid, she should want DNA tests so that she doesn’t cause that pain to her child and a man that she supposedly loves.

[Apple1996]

@Chazmatazz269 it is the mother's fault. I'm just saying it's not right to punish the kid especially if they are already older and formed a bond with the "dad"

[sirderpsalot123]

The only person you should be mad at for hurting the innocent child is the mother. Expecting a man to raise/financially support
a child that he knows isn't his is unreasonable.

[Juxtapose]

@Apple1996 I am not a cuck and I am not going to raise somebody else's child, especially with somebody who cheated on me.

[Juxtapose]

If I was dating a single mother that would be different but fuck cheaters.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose so you'd never adopt a kid cause you'd be seen as a cuck?

[Apple1996]

@sirderpsalot123 men are wayy to greedy with their money. I find it disgusting especially when talking about a innocent child

[Juxtapose]

You likely did not see my last post where I said if I was dating a single mother it would be different.

Personally I don't want kids but adoption or being with a single mom is fine. Once cheating gets involved though? I am out.

[Juxtapose]

@Apple1996 men should not pay for children who are not theirs.

[Juxtapose]

(If you agree to adopt and whatnot the child is essentially yours.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I would just leave with the kids and never come back if my husband talked about kids like that. To be so greedy is disgusting

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose what about foster care? The kids are only temporarily there

[Juxtapose]

@Apple1996 children are usually a minimum of 18 years of intense effort and financial commitment. I don't take them lightly, it's something that will financially ruin you if you are already struggling to feed yourself.

Having a kid would ruin me financially so yeah, finances are a big deal and I have every right to make sure that every single penny I spend is absolutely worth it.

[Juxtapose]

And I would not raise the children that is not mine either because I would be smart enough to get a paternity test done.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose so you are greedy

[Juxtapose]

I am not middle class, I am not upper class, I am pretty poor. I don't have the luxury to not care about money, every little bit I spend matters.

[Juxtapose]

And it's not greedy to safeguard your own wealth. It's yours, nobody else is entitled to it. Don't let people guilt you into giving them money.

Of course I will be responsible if I do something like have a child but I purposely avoid having a child due to the financial burden and also I don't think it's fair to pass on my autism.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I literally had a child before I even had a bank account or any money. Anyone that's a adult would not have a child financially ruin them

[Juxtapose]

You are not the man and you are not expected to be the provider. What am I going to do in your scenario if I have a kid? Make the woman who just had a kid work her ass off because I don't have some fancy degree that can earn us a lot of money?

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I find when people say that to just be a huge excuse or possibility ignorance on how much someone thinks it really takes to raise a child

[Juxtapose]

I see so many children raised with so little. I would not want to have a kid unless I had six figures at minimum.

[Juxtapose]

Do you have any idea how expensive it was for my parents to raise me because of my disabilities?

[Asker]

@Apple1996 What are truly upset about? That he won’t have kids or that he’ll put up with cheating hoes? Or is it both?

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose my husband was worse off then me when we had a child. I was fully responsible for financially caring for him

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I have kids with disabilities. It makes no difference to my finances

[Asker]

@Apple1996 Congrats! Here’s your prize 🏆

[Juxtapose]

Yeah well I have the possibility of having an autistic child if I do reproduce and that requires some serious money.

Without that money, I would not have gotten a lazy eye fixed, I would have not gotten the education and support I needed to become a human being who can speak to you like this. Things like eye contact and whatnot had to be taught to me. I went to top professionals and it took a lot of money to turn me into the person I am now.

Meanwhile if I was born to some lower income people in a trailer park, I would probably have crooked teeth, a lazy eye and a lack of support or even a lack of a diagnosis.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose maybe those things cost money when you were a kid but most services especially for autism are free (at least in the states I've lived). Those kids acutally get more privileges than regular kids

[Juxtapose]

Going to the doctor, getting tested and getting various treatments is not free. I didn't get more privileges than most kids, I got shit on by everyone around me and if I spoke up for myself I got shut down. Growing up with autism was fucking hell and I was so damn alone.

Having gone through it firsthand, I would not subject anyone to to go through that without at least the amount of financial backing and support I had.

[Juxtapose]

I even got punished for physically defending myself.

[Juxtapose]

Frankly you don't know what it's like to have autism or grow up with it.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose back when you was a kid it was probably terrible to grow up like that 😕 I'm very sorry to hear that you struggled

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose like I said my kiddos have delays so I know a bit about that stuff but it is much different in today's world compared to back then. One of my kids has a full time aid at school, has been doing speech and other therapy for years ☠️ the only main issue we had was getting him help during covid

[Juxtapose]

What's really changed now? More zero tolerance policies that victimize kids that are bullied and empty platitudes from woke idiots who pretend to be on your side but couldn't care less?

If you're different you are still going to be mercilessly bullied and you are still going to be punished when you defend yourself. If I was born today, I would still go through a lot of bullshit just because I was born with autism, dyslexia and attention deficit disorder.

[sirderpsalot123]

@Apple1996 I don't care if you think it's greedy to not take care of another man's kid lol I'm not trying to be a hero and save the world. I am not responsible for everyone's kid. It sucks for the kid, but again that's 1000% on the mother for lying.

[Juxtapose]

I also had an ed tech follow me around and while she was helpful, it felt like I had another bully following me because she was such a bitch. I had speech therapy and other such additional classes in school, I went to a really rich and well-off school. One of the top schools in the country actually, top 3,000 nationally. My town I grew up in literally has a lighthouse.

I'm just saying, I can't imagine raising a child with less money than what my parents had. And thank you for your sympathy although I would argue a lot of women have to go through worse because so many women get fucking raped. This world is insane.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose kids do not bully the same way that they did back then. Mostly online bullying vs in person. And obviously the services offered are easier to get for kids and are not as costly

[Juxtapose]

Well, can't imagine raising a child like me with that kind of little money anyway.

[Juxtapose]

Man you're makin' me feel old xD

[Juxtapose]

I wonder how different things really are now?

[Fuentes]

@Apple1996 apple you have lost it bro lol

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose my kids make me feel old everyday 😂 so I guess not having them will benefit you that way

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes nahh I've been in a good mindset lately 😌

[Fuentes]

@Apple1996 you're saying men should take care of kids financially that ain't theirs in what world is that normal? Lol stop this mindset haha

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes ideally we are all suppose to be raising everyone's kids in a village sense. It's acutally fucked not to. Probably the reason everyone has bad childhoods/trauma

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes also for anyone paying taxes y'all are financially raising a lot of kids tbh 😂

[Asker]

@Apple1996 Let’s say you cheated and became pregnant with another man’s baby, you expect your husband to help you raise it?

[Apple1996]

I would never cheat but we would both raise a kid regardless of it being biologicay ours or not. He tried adopting a kid but couldn't because I was pregnant

[Fuentes]

20 dollars outta my check versus hundreds is completely different t then raising a kid which can be over thousands for months that's way different hahaha

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes true people pay different amount in taxes so that really depends. And it depends on the kid as well. My littles cost wayy less than my older kids to raise

[Fuentes]

Lol yes so imagine a man paying for years on big kids that were never his that's Hella wrong

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes I don't think financial is even a issue. It's more of a deep cut if he acutally loved and raised the child

[Fuentes]

Money is always an issue in this economy lol idc about the love lol money means more then anything if the kid ain't yours lol

[Juxtapose]

Yeah, money has always been an issue and conserving it is not greedy.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose but if you were busy raising a kid for years there'd be less time to make money so it's not exactly about the money but more so the wasted time

[Chazmatazz269]

Why should it be acceptable for a woman to punish a man because she lied or screwed up? Why is it men who don’t want to raise someone else’s child are “greedy”, but the lying mother isn’t? She’s not entitled to his money if the kid isn’t his. You SHOULD take the kids and go if they’re not his. You should never put a man or a child in that position ever. Paternity fraud should be punishable by prison time. A year in prison for every year a man unwittingly supports a child that isn’t his because of the mother’s GREED.

[Juxtapose]

@Chazmatazz269 yeah partarinity fraud needs hard time.

[Apple1996]

@Chazmatazz269 the mom could literally not know he's not the father. by the way I did say it was her fault but that doesn't mean making a child suffer

[Apple1996]

@Chazmatazz269 if a man doesn't wanna have this risk then simply don't have sex. Keep your dick in your pants

[Juxtapose]

You say making a child suffer as if the father's responsible for a child that is both not his and he was lied about.

Paternity fraud should be a crime where the people committing it do hard time.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose making it a crime is equally as sickening and still makes kids suffer. People in jail get 3 free meals, showers and shelter yet a lot of childern cannot get those things.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose that goes for a lot of dumb harmless crimes tho

[Avicenna]

Apple, I don't mind taking care of MY kids, but no way am I taking care of someone else's kid (s) with my after-tax money. And it's insane to suggest that men do that.

[Juxtapose]

Clearly you don't have respect for the investment men have to make with children if you think it's not a big deal they just get casually cuckolded.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose I don't respect it because financially supporting a child is bare minimum. It's not something that should be praised or made a big deal of

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna if you acutally wanted to benefit the future generation it wouldn't matter if they were biologically yours or not.

[Juxtapose]

Supporting a child is not a bare minimum, many people don't do it and common acts of virtue such as holding a door open for somebody should be both praised so such actions are encouraged. Trying to belittle somebody's good deed just because it's expected of them is disgusting.

A father or a mother parenting a child is a very serious commitment and they should not have their time wasted. I am not for mothers having their babies swapped out at hospitals and having their time wasted either. I would be just as mad if this kind of thing happened to women because it's bullshit. You deserve to know if the child is actually yours or not.

People aren't communist who randomly take a child and say they will raise it without any regard for their genetic legacy.

[Avicenna]

LOL, that's gaslighting. I benefit future generations by raising my biological kids well. And I was a teacher, so there's that too.

The biological parents are responsible for raising their own kids instead of pushing it off on others.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it is very much the bare minimum. Just because 25% of dad's are deadbeats doesn't mean it should be normalized.

Literally could care less if my kid was switched at birth. I'm planning on carrying a baby that isn't even mine next year 😂

[Juxtapose]

It is not the bare minimum, you can even financially sign off your responsibilities for the child if you want. That's the bare minimum.

Well you do not represent the vast majority of people and the vast majority of people care about their genetic legacy and they don't want to raise other people's kids, especially unknowingly.

People generally don't like being cucked, imagine that?

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna didn't you tell me before that you barely ever see your kids?

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose the vast majority of people I know in my life have step childern or they've adopted/foster kids. I barely know anyone with a family that's just raising their own bio kids tbh

[Juxtapose]

And how many of those people were lied to and made into cucks?

[Juxtapose]

Big difference here between choice and no choice.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it's not really lying if the mother doesn't know who the bio father is

[Juxtapose]

Like I suspected, none of those people you know were explicitly lied to. They knew what they were walking into.

[Avicenna]

I would like to have my kids with me all the time, but I wouldn't say that I "barely" see them.

[Juxtapose]

That matters, the father's consent matters.

[Chazmatazz269]

I admire your determination, but you’re wasting your time and energy. This woman is clearly okay with corrupt, deceitful women using their children as shields against their own bad behavior. No matter what facts you produce, she thinks men should be enslaved to the whim of women. She just thinks she’s being clever by acting like it has anything to do with what is best for the children that such trash women are bringing into the world only to be used as clout.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it would be a extremely rare case for the woman just to be lying. It's most likely cause she literally doesn't know who the dad is

[Juxtapose]

@Chazmatazz269 I refuse to believe she would be okay with her husband swapping out her kid without her even knowing. That would be a terrible betrayal of trust.

I think she has trouble empathizing with men in this scenario.

[Juxtapose]

It's actually not extremely rare and it's a significant enough risk with a significant enough investment to warrant significant caution.

[Juxtapose]

1/3 of men who decide to have these paternity tests taken are shown the child is not theirs. That is incredible.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose babies don't get swapped anymore. They are tagged in the hospital and never leave the room / the moms side unless they are high risk babies in the nicu

[Juxtapose]

I'm just using that as an example, you know you wouldn't like it if it did happen.

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose sorry just not something I'd care about besides like medical/health reasons is the only reason someone needs to know their bio parents

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose 1/3 mens fault for fucking a untrustworthy woman 🤷‍♀️ don't sleep with women if you don't wanna risk a kid that might or might not be yours

[Juxtapose]

That's the thing, somebody can seem trustworthy for years and years and stab you in the back without you seeing it at all.

You're clearly in the minority though of this line of thought, most people care about their genetic legacy and would not want their child swapped out or their partner to lie to them about the child's link to them.

[Juxtapose]

Being deceived about such a significant matter is a big deal.

[Juxtapose]

Also victim blaming much?

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose that's the risk of being in a relationship and having sex.
I also think men need to be a little more involved with tracking their woman's cycle/fertility in general so it'd be hard to lie about dates. I get a woman could technically fuck multiple guys the day she's ovulating but still the guy would at least know what he's risking

[Juxtapose]

You are still victim blaming men for getting lied to and betrayed on an immense level. And then people wonder why men want paternity tests xD

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose the only men I've met that wanted a paternity test are here on GAG 😂

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose if men were acutally logical and not running on their emotions they wouldn't fuck a woman without knowing her fertility first. If y'all know the risk then there is no reason for this type of testing

[Apple1996]

@Juxtapose it's not victim blaming. It's just literally being a dumbass to even be in that situation when it's controllable. He could have kept his dick in his pants

[Juxtapose]

It literally is victim blaming. You are saying the man is responsible for the woman lying pretty much and you are putting very little commendation on the liar.

[Avicenna]

If DNA testing at birth is mandated by law, the stigma evaporates. And we avoid some problems like some mothers naming the wrong man as the father as a condition of collecting welfare benefits.

[Kelley1]

Whether a prenup or paternity test, the rule, established by Ronald Reagan, is trust but verify. When dating, as soon as marriage is discussed, a man should let his potential wife know that he will do paternity tests and, if applicable, require a prenup and that he will not marry a woman that objects and brings up "That is saying you don't trust me argument."

If a women objects and brings up the subject of trust more than once, that is proof that she cannot be trusted and he should reject her as a potential wife. It is the nature of women to seek a dependable and good provider for her and her children and then when is at or near ovulating, to seek the best genes for her eggs. However, if she knows her husband will verify with a paternity test she may refrain from cheating or take precautions against pregnancy.

I will never object to a prenup. Moreover, I will tell my husband that I approve of paternity tests and that he should always verify with a paternity test. That will be my way of letting him know that he can always trust me. That way doubts about my faithfulness will never enter his mind.

[Asker]

What about STD tests? Should they be part of it too before having kids and marriage?

[Kelley1]

That is a medical question, I am not competent to answer. I might require it if it was a concern but for me that is not something that I'm concerned about..

[Asker]

I would want my man to be tested. I don’t know what he’s doing with women when I’m not around.

[Lliam]

If a man doesn't trust his wife, he shouldn't have married her.
And if he doesn't trust her, he doesn't love her because love is built upon trust.

Guys who don't trust their wives are pathetic. They are just using them for their own needs.

I also think the reason some people are incapable of trusting is because they, themselves, are dishonest and untrustworthy.
Plus, some guys just have a negative view of women in general. Those guys should do women a favor and stay single.

Imagine a wife telling her husband that she's pregnant. And instead of being overjoyed, he asks for a paternity test. What a slap in the face! She should wait until she has the baby, then divorce his sorry ass and demand child support along with the rest of the settlement.

The fuckwad can then go on-line and cry about how mean women are.

[Asker]

I think guys pretend to be happy until the baby arrives. Then that’s when they ask for a paternity test.

[Sasquach]

There's an old expression my old man used to say: 'Trust but verify.'

The baby, for instance, could have been mixed up at the hospital. It's a small chance, but nonetheless, it's a possibility that a paternity test can rule out.

I feel sorry for the man, such as yourself, who cares more for the wife's happiness over the wellbeing of a newborn child

[Asker]

I’m more talking about infidelity. I want to know who my man has been around when he goes out.

[HawkPerception]

Paternity tests should be mandatory. Prenups should be mandatory.

Hate to say it, but if a girl is pregnant, unless it's really obvious (like the baby being a different colour than both of the assumed parents), it can be hard to tell if it's your child. It's not a shot at the girlfriend, but if she loves you and wants you to trust her, then she should have no issue doing a paternity test. A lot of people are able to fake their personalities for long periods of time and cheat on their partners frequently without their partner suspecting. Why not just give your partner the peace of mind in knowing that it's his kid?

Same thing with prenups. It's not implying that the couple WILL divorce. But it's protecting you if there is a divorce.

I don't understand why women take it as a shot at them.

I would never have a marriage without a prenup and if my partner doesn't get a paternity test with the kid, we're gonna have an issue.

[Asker]

Are you willing to get tested for STDs? I think both partners should be tested. To be honest, I wouldn’t be to trust my man no matter what.

[HawkPerception]

Absolutely willing. But I'd prefer to go with my partner and do it at the same time

[Asker]

I think people should be around their partner 24/7. And I’m talking about like the bathroom. Their work. Even to the grocery store. Because you don’t know. They got phones and you don’t know what they’re doing or who they’re messaging.

[Asker]

It sounds crazy, but you can’t trust your partner no matter what.

[Asker]

Oh, and put cameras around your house. Those will come in handy.

[HawkPerception]

I honestly can't tell if you're being sarcastic

[Asker]

No, I’m being serious. With everyone cheating, why not? If your partner wants to show they’re loyal, this is what they have to do. It shouldn’t stop at just getting tested. We should go all out.

[HawkPerception]

Are you being absolutely serious or is this a shot at my opinion?

[Asker]

100% being serious

[Asker]

Like I said, you can’t trust your partner. You don’t know what they’re doing behind your back. Don’t you agree?

[HawkPerception]

Well then I'll say you need to approach things with a sense of realism.

I do my due diligence and give my partners fingerprint access to my phone so they can check it any time they want. I respond to them asap when I can. And I think that video surveillance in and out of the house is a good thing regardless in terms of security.

I don't think you have to follow your partner to the washroom, work, grocery store, or everywhere they go.

You just have to build trust and be open, honest, and frequently communicate, and that should be good enough.

[Asker]

Like you said, people can fake their personalities for a long time. So how can I trust my partner? We can do all that stuff, but there’s a good chance he’ll turn on me.

[Asker]

Let’s say you’re in a relationship and your partner became pregnant. Your first thought would be she cheated, right? Or, if you two decide to get married, your first thought would be she’s only with for your money. So why not watch her like a hawk and keep your guard up? It’ll save you from getting hurt.

[HawkPerception]

I can say with full confidence my partners have never cheated on me and I've never cheated on them. If you filter correctly, learn to understand their character, and build trust through your actions, it won't happen.

There are many people in the world that have morals and will not cheat. If you're one, why can't there be others? Don't use your pain from your previous partner or partners cheating on you to assume everyone is the same way.

[Asker]

Are you 100% sure they never cheated? They could’ve hid things you didn’t know about.

[HawkPerception]

My last partner did some questionable stuff, so maybe not 100% sure with her, but we're not together now so it's fine regardless. My previous 2 partners definitely did not cheat.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

None of that matters. Exactly none. why? Because over 30% of men paying child support find out they are not the actual fathers and that percentage would likely go up tremendously if all were tested. In the UK ALONE, it is believed the percentage is 40 or above. In the US it is believed to be 30 or above.

That percentage is only based on the children tested and is a very small statistical base. The unfortunate truth is false parentage claims are much higher than is reported.

It is generally believed to be as high as 48% but studies are inconclusive but shows there is a need for more accurate and detailed studies to be performed.

[Nifrayu]

They say you never really know someone. The first woman I fell in love with ghosted me shortly after I gave her my virginity. I found out a month later that she was pregnant. She had twins. They are almost certainly not my children considering I didn't ejaculate when we had sex. Still the one in a million chance that they are haunts me sometimes. I wish I had pushed for a paternity test when I first learned about it so that I could know for sure. I'm not going to do that now though. At this point I would rather not know. On the unlikely chance that they mine, learning as much would be something that I don't think I could cope with.

[Asker]

Then is there really a point in relationships anymore? I think trust is pretty much non existent now in everyone. It’s really risky to be in a relationship these days.

[SugarSugarplum]

Wait: so if EVERYONE is DNA tested at birth, then in the FUTURE, it'll be possible to tell EXACTLY who the father is all the time.

Not just Your husband is not the father, but you'll be able to say, John X. at 123 Main Street is the father.

I see this as a positive thing towards stemming sex outside of marriage.

[JacobJordan]

Has absolutely nothing to do with her potentially having cheated. It is simply about knowing factually that the child is mine. Women keep claiming it is due to lack of trust, she cheated, blah blah blah. It isn't. I just want to know the same way she knows that the child is mine. Since I can't know it that way next best option is a paternity test

[Asker]

I mean, she is the one who gave birth to the child. Of course the child is going to be hers 100%. Are you talking about if your child got switched at the hospital?

[Asker]

I have heard horror stories how hospitals switch babies. I don’t know why they do that.

[JacobJordan]

No though that is another good reason to do paternity tests. I am merely referring to the fact the man's only connection to the kid is believing it is his. Even if he "knows" it is his he doesn't really know factually. I think they should just make it really easy for everyone. Remove the choice. Men don't have to deal with insecure drama seeking women getting mad if he asks for factual knowledge and the woman no longer has the option to say no. Just make it a legal requirement. The birth certificate will only display the fathers name AFTER a paternity test. Problem solved

[JacobJordan]

Sometimes it is an accident sometimes it is because parents don't like their own baby and like a different baby more. Most stats say around 20k babies annually are swapped for various reasons

[Asker]

The first one I’m honestly confused.
You say it has nothing to do with trust, but you still want to know if your partner has slept with another guy in order to know the baby is truly yours.

[Asker]

If yes, then it does have to do with trust. Like, in the back of your mind you’re thinking, “My partner is pregnant. It has to be another man’s.” Am I right so far?

[Asker]

Because when you see your baby for the first time as the father, you have so much doubt, right? You think, “Wow! I highly doubt this baby is mine.” But, what happens to all that doubt when it is your baby? Do you feel guilt afterwards?

[JacobJordan]

No it comes down to "my partner is pregnant she knows it is hers. I trust her and want to know it is mine as well"

[JacobJordan]

My wife insisted on the paternity test because she like me feels that it is only fair that a man gets the same factual knowledge she has.

[Asker]

In other words, she wants to let you know she hasn’t slept with anyone else behind your back.

[Asker]

Yes you can’t tell if the baby is yours but you still want to know it’s biologically yours and not another man’s.

[Asker]

Let’s say she didn’t get the paternity test, you would believe she’s carrying another man’s baby, correct?

[Asker]

You say you trust her, but you would still believe the kid isn’t biologically yours.

[JacobJordan]

No because I have been with her 24 hours a day for the last 20 years aside from a handful of moments many years before we had kids. There is no way that the child could be someone else's. HOWEVER there is an extremely rare medical condition where an egg is self fertilized thus having no birth father. In addition the resulting baby is female only and contains a higher supply of estrogen.

[Asker]

Then why don’t men say that then? Explain it’s for medical reasons.

[Asker]

Sure it’s rare but everyone should know about this Obviously this is my first time hearing about it.

[JacobJordan]

Very rarely do they get the chance to say anything. The moment they mention the paternity test women get offended and defensive and start fighting.

[DishLady]

No, not all guys automatically think their girl has cheated. (SMH.)

Men who question their part in your pregnancy have may want a paternity test for obvious reasons. Not ALL MEN have to question whether their woman's been... AROUND.

"Showed no signs"? Meaning what? She cheated but there was no lingering evidence? Perhaps gaslight a guy into thinking he's the dad?

[HaleyWalker]

I think this should be the law to be honest before signing any birth certificate. People have cheated in the past that's what paternity court is all about. Even if it is fake that stuff does actually happen.

Anyone who disagrees with this I personally believe are cheaters. There's no downside to getting it done... unless you were slipping into other dudes beds on "accident"

I really don't like cheaters 𓁹‿𓁹

[PreferNot2Say]

Because women cheat more often than men. They've gotten away with it for so long due to the fact that they mentally don't consider it cheating. I believe recent studies show that one in ten men are raising children that aren't theirs. Their spouse cheated and most likely knows who the real father is and its not their husbands. Talk about pure evil.

[Account]

I dont want to have a biogical child. However, if in a hypothetical scenario, my partner asked me a paternity test, I would do so but under the condition that he will sign up an agreement that if said child is proven to be his, to relinquish his parental rights and of course I would break up.

[patois]

I wouldn't want anyone to do a paternity test for me, I just do it myself. It's not hard to isolate and amplify a couple DNA samples from hair follicles, mark it, and then run a gel. If you're a liar, you'd be exposed after 14 weeks from birth. It's best not to lie, people are smarter than you anticipate.

[celenino]

I don't know if what you're saying comes from personal experience, or just from reading stuff on the Internet. In my mind, asking for paternity test in reality is a lot less common than what the Internet makes it seem. After all, it's basically a way of saying 'I don't trust you', therefore not something you'd normally do in a healthy relationship.

However, not all relationships are healthy and I've certainly had cases in the past where I would request a paternity test, if I were presented with the news of pregnancy.

[Juxtapose]

I have the right to have the same assurance that my woman has that the kid is mine.

"Trust her" yeah.. because that works out so well for the 1 in 10 men who are raising a kid that is not theirs 🤣

You should never blindly trust somebody. You trust but you verify, again and again.

[Asker]

So does that mean I can get my man tested for STDs?

[Juxtapose]

Absolutely! You should do that from time to time as you don't need to have sex to catch some of these diseases that you can transmit via sex.

[Juxtapose]

*so you don't

[Asker]

Cool. Because I have major trust issues and I couldn’t trust him with other women. Even if we’re out in public.

[Juxtapose]

Well how would you deal with somebody like me who is bisexual? Am I not allowed to have friends in that case?

[Juxtapose]

At some point some benefit of the doubt should come into play but with an 18-year commitment? It certainly doesn't hurt to be double sure.

[Asker]

Your partner can’t really be trusted no matter what.

[Juxtapose]

As much as any other person.

[Juxtapose]

I have been given opportunities to cheat but I turned them down.

[Asker]

I was talking to someone on here and they made a good point. People fake their personalities for a really long time. Meaning, they can act loyal to you until they cheat later on.

[Asker]

So always watch your back with the person you’re in a relationship. Because you never know.

[Juxtapose]

Nobody has the motivation or frankly the skill to deceive me that long.

[avery58]

It's because many people don't trust their partners as much as they say they do 😂😅

But that's a bit too much... Why ask for it if the woman didn't show any signs of cheating?

[MasterKS]

@avery58 good point.

[Asker]

@avery58 I think in their minds their partner cheats at any chance given.
For example, she can go grocery shopping or any public place and her partner believes she’s fucking some guy.
Or, if she’s anything like me who doesn’t go out often, she’s fucking a guy at home.
It’s like you literally can’t be in a relationship at all. You can’t even breathe or move without your partner questioning your loyalty.

[MasterKS]

@Peridot25 its foolishness to live with such an asshole partner!

[Asker]

@MasterKS That’s how it these days. That’s how little trust people have.

[Asker]

*it is

[msc545]

You were right. Most men do not particularly trust women. Why do you suppose that is?

[avery58]

@msc545 modern dating culture. But they fail to see that many men have wronged their partners in relationships as well

[avery58]

@msc545 I think the problem is more generational than it being about one specific gender

[Anonymous]

if it was required in all situations there would be a lot less problems years later

there should be a box on the birth certificate that says "confirmed father" and if it's not checked, the guy can't pick up the kid from school or make medical decisions for them or anything like that

[msc545]

Yeah and if it doesn't say confirmed father you also can't collect any child support.

[Anonymous]

Think of it this way;

Women know exactly what the parentage of their children is, Men can never know 100%. Paternity fraud is higher than most people think, currently in the US 11% of husbands were not the biological fathers of the children they were raising, with a similar figure in most western countries.

[Asker]

So are men slowly stop wanting families?

[Opinion Owner]

No, Men want families , but they want to know without a shadow of a doubt that the children they are raising are their bloodline, at the moment inmost States the US it is taken for granted that if a Man's name is put on the birth certificate by the Mother then he is the Father of the child even if he contests it and has a a DNA test proving that he is not the child biological Father. That is why there is a concerted push at the moment for the to be DNA testing at birth. When you consider that up to 2019 Blood tests were required in all 50 States before marriage, Is the use of a DNA test at the birth of a child that much different?

[HelpfulWoman]

unless for instance the dude is cheating and then projects that onto a partner, there will normally always be some sort of dodgy-ness to warrant them asking for a paternity test.
normal people solid in their relationship do not just ask for them

[yellowmamba024]

Cheating has been rampant in this day and age due to the ability to have accessibility to different men. The modern women get bored way too quickly.

[77five]

But its ok for men do to whatever they want?…

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. When my wife becomes pregnant it’s a celebration. Wouldn’t want a test

[blueonblack22]

If I dated a girl who had a lot of “guy friends”, was far left politically and/or we spent a lot of time apart I would consider this.

[DarkOsiris]

If she's not cheating then she should have no problems taking the test. It is to weed out the ones that are cheating.

[Asker]

If she’s not cheating, does that mean you still believe she is?

[DarkOsiris]

I'm sure every man would like to believe she is not cheating, but cheaters usually like to keep their deeds secret. That's what the test is for.

[Asker]

What if I want my partner tested for STDs?

[DarkOsiris]

By all means, you should get them tested. It's for your safety and I'm sure your partner would want you to feel safe if they care about you.

[Asker]

To be honest, I wouldn’t trust him around other women.

[Dongie]

Really? Were they together 24/7? Check the stats on men finding out 3, 5, 15 years later their heart gets ripped out. Do you trust him that much. It's our body we have to protect it.

[Asker]

I truly believe you shouldn’t trust partner. Because you don’t know when they’ll cheat.

[Asker]

*trust your

[Dongie]

I took it you had men as sour grapes for checking. You dont?

[Dongie]

Nah, if you can't trust them, then it shouldn't be with'em.

[CrabCakes11]

I’d be hurt and wonder why he thinks he needs a paternity test, but I’d give him one anyways

[Asker]

Would you break up with him once the test comes out positive?

[CrabCakes11]

Probably not. I’d just try to repair the relationship afterwards

[slatyb]

Mostly we don't from our committed partners. If it was a brief affair we might. I've only got one and I'm sure they are my child.

[LaurenM1997]

Insecure and not confident that the child won’t be his then will stupidly disown the child when it’s not their fault

[ApplePie409]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPEC4yfvoCw

[LaurenM1997]

What’s that got to do with this?

[ApplePie409]

Cheating is rampant.

[LaurenM1997]

@ApplePie409 yeah it sure is really bad

[Juxtapose]

Men deserve to know if they are the parent just as much as women do.

[LaurenM1997]

@Juxtapose true

[Booklover_90]

Honestly, I’ve only seen that played out on talk shows. 😅

[Anonymous]

If you're going to be signing up for committing to 18 years of financially supporting someone, you should know, not just believe the truth of thr matter.

Besides people aren't as sneaky as they think

[Asker]

Let’s say your partner became pregnant, what would be your first thought? That she cheated, right?

[Opinion Owner]

Me, yes, only because I should be infertile

[Asker]

Oh that makes more sense.

[Asker]

But there are slight chances where you’re not 100% infertile and still can get her pregnant.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, but realistically it's more likely she cheated lol

[Asker]

Out of curiosity, there are women who have PCOS and endometriosis where they have very low chances of getting pregnant. But, there are some cases they can. What are your thoughts on those women?

[Opinion Owner]

If they get pregnant and it's what they want, good for them, but i don't see the relevance... maternity is rarely in question

[standardguy]

Well. I think that its good to test if there is a doubt. Because the doubt can persist and it can be that it's your kid but because of the doubts you can't enjoy paternity.

[Sasquach]

I think paternity tests should be mandated by law. There are too many stories of hospital baby swapping and infidelity only to find out a decade after

[Asker]

Then STD tests should be mandated by law too for infidelity.

[Sasquach]

I'd support annual std checks

[Asker]

Actually, I believe it should be every month.

[Asker]

Scratch that. I realized you can get tested every 3 to 6 months. So, until my partner gets tested, no sex.

[msc545]

Hypergamy suggests she is more likely than not to cheat.

[Asker]

So, in other words, you would always assume she’s cheating?

[msc545]

Yes, in the same way that you assume that all men cheat.

[Asker]

Ok 🤷‍♀️

[Kit_Kat88]

I think it there’s signs that she might’ve been cheating then it’s ok for him to ask for a paternity test

[LiamJHayden]

No. It comes down to the fact that the woman knows the kid is hers. The guy can think so, but DNA confirms it.

[Nerdvana]

I have never known of a husband asking his wife for a paternity test.

[msc545]

The only things that are required for a paternity test are a sample from the baby and a sample from the father. These are easily obtained if the father ever cares for the child and the mother's absence which most women insist on from time to time. The sample from the child is just a simple cheek swab and the sample from the father can be blood or also a cheek swab. The samples are submitted to a laboratory that does the paternity test. I did this without my wife's knowledge or consent because I didn't want to put up with her drama and her participation was not needed. Thank God. The results were that I actually was my daughter's father. I never told my wife about this at all again to avoid drama. If there had been a mandated paternity test at the time of my daughter's birth that would have made all of this a lot easier.

[Asker]

@msc545 Wait, so you’re married but have absolute 0 trust in your wife?

[Asker]

@msc545 Also, why are you married?

[msc545]

I am no longer married. We got divorced when my daughter was 4 years old. None of this is any of your business by the way.

[msc545]

I divorced my wife because I found out she was cheating on me.

[Asker]

@msc545 I have so many questions. You think women are so horrible yet you married one and had a child. What the fuck? I’m so confused 🫤

[Asker]

@msc545 You say it’s none of my business yet told me why you divorced her. And also, you didn’t say ex.

[msc545]

Nothing that you say on here is going to persuade men that they should just blindly trust women because unfortunately women have proven in too many cases that they are not trustworthy at all. If the situation were reversed and you could get a test that would definitively tell you whether or not a man had been cheating I guarantee you would get that test no matter what. But when we want to test all of a sudden, we're bad people and mistrusting and we should just fall in line and do what you suggest and blindly trust women. This isn't going to happen. Only foolish men blindly trust women.

[msc545]

This may come as a shock to you, but I don't really need you to parse my writing and decide that you know what I mean based on my word usage meeting your standards. If you don't like what I write, don't read it.

[Asker]

@msc545 First thing, I’m confused on why you followed me and why you haven’t blocked me since you think I’m this terrible person. And second, no where did I say you should because that’s dumb. That goes for everyone.

[Asker]

msc545 I honestly believe you should unfollow and block me. We’ll never get along. And it’s clear you hate me because of me being a woman and all.

[msc545]

I don't think you're a terrible person, but I think you have terrible views which I totally disagree with.

[msc545]

There are some women on here that I get along with fairly well. You clearly are not one of them.

[Asker]

@msc545 Then I think it’s best if we blocked each other.

[msc545]

You can do whatever you want. I don't take orders from you. I will block you when I feel like it or not block you when I don't feel like it. I will say that you have not been rude to me and that is the usual reason that I block people.

[Asker]

msc545 I end up unfollowing you. You can do the same to me, if you wish.

[Asker]

@msc545 I don’t know what delusional world you’re living in, but no where did I order you to do something. It was a suggestion.

[Asker]

@msc545 If you don’t want to block me, then ill block you instead. Good talking to you, I guess.

[Anonymous]

so many idiots here like to misuse the word "insecure"

[Anonymous]

No men don't ask for paternity tests from this wives , only ones asking are divorced

[Asker]

Believe it or not, men do ask their wives.

[Opinion Owner]

You're single , how do you know

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right! Since I’m single I don’t know anything. I’m absolutely clueless and I don’t see what’s going on. It’s all sunshine and rainbows.

[Asker]

Whatever I see it’s just a fragment of my imagination. Nothing goes wrong in our world.

[Opinion Owner]

Nice

[Guanfei]

A woman always knows a baby is hers, obviously.

A man can never be sure.

[msc545]

Yes, a man can be sure if a paternity test is done. That is why we do them.

[Anonymous]

there's nothing wrong with a paternity test unless you have something to hide

the users who are offended by this says a lot more about them than those wanting a paternity test

[Asker]

What about STD tests?

[dolemite58]

Every birth should have a dna test, women won’t have anything to fear if they ain’t a hoe hoe

[Asker]

But, I have a question though. If you assume your partner cheated, why are you with them? I’m mostly asking this out of curiosity.

[dolemite58]

Every woman is capable of cheating whether u assume it or not

[Asker]

What if I don’t trust my man being around women?

[Asker]

And I want him to be tested often for STDs?

[dolemite58]

Find a new man

[Asker]

If you advise me to find a new man, then why not advise men to stay single? Then they don’t have to worry about if their partner cheated and got pregnant by some random guy.

[Asker]

I think any man who is in a relationship right now should break up with their partner right now. Save themselves the trouble.

[Anonymous]

This Femcel crap doesn't suit you Sashie, you're better than that!

[DrPepper12]

No. I'm good.

[MasterKS]

Insecure men thinks like that.

[ApplePie409]

Watch this 3-part Netflix series.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPEC4yfvoCw

I know a lot of women on that site for cheaters.

[DrPepper12]

Now that's the answer!

[FunkyMonkee]

Everytime I meet one, I make her get one.

[Unit1]

I want to stay childfree.

[VV3ZZY123]

cuz if they ain't mine. I'm leaving

[Fuentes]

If the kid doesn't look like me

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Nowadays YES!

[Anonymous]

Probably when he’s had a vasectomy

[Anonymous]

they should just be mandatory.

[Anonymous]

Would you ever cheat on your partner?

[Anonymous]

If she's a slut she can keep her baby

[eagle1951]

not here