My mom told my boyfriend she appreciates his honesty but told me he’s sharp tongued and its up to me if I wanna continue with him?

[Anastacia1989]

My boyfriend is very outspoken and he tells it like it is - he’s like this with everybody…

he was telling my mom about the importance why I need to get a better job if he and I move in together later on…he also made it clear that we want our own place because my mom kept asking my boyfriend to move in togther at my moms house - the 3 of us…. my mom then told him she appreciated his honesty…

now today my mom seemed to be in a bad mood and told me that she thinks my boyfriend is very sharp tongued and it’s up to me if I wanna continue with him…meanwhile she says she likes the guy overall and we match…

what was she implying? Why couldn’t she be more direct with my boyfriend if she thinks he’s so sharp tongued? Is she feeling jealousy or resentment towards my boyfriend and relationship?

Feeling jealousy and resentment

Doesn’t approve of my boyfriend

Other - pls explain.

Updates

+1 y

My boyfriend is very straightforward and direct and has many friends and is well liked and overall he treats me well - can’t complain and I personally appreciate his honesty

[DishLady]

She's not IMPLYING. She is saying she doesn't like him for you but will stay out of your business. (Where did you get jealousy and resentment from... she's your mom for pity's sake. My goodness.)

[Anastacia1989]

Everyone in my family likes him - my mom is the only one who’s being negative which is where I got the jealousy thing from

[Anastacia1989]

Is my mom is jealous of my relationship? ↗

[DishLady]

Yeah, I don't think that's what she's doing... You're her kid... she wants better for you even if you're at your best.

[Anastacia1989]

Is she approves of him or likes him then why would she “want better” for me?

[jahaims]

Your mom is weirdly involved in your romantic life. You don't work or have your own place at 34?

[Anastacia1989]

Yes I’m self employed and my boyfriend and I are serious so I don't know why she’s acting like that for?

[Sevenpointfive]

has she kissed your boyfriend? how does she know his tongue is sharp?

[Anastacia1989]

Sharp tongued meaning she thinks he’s very critical but he wasn’t critical in any way shape or form he was just being honest like he usually is

[Sevenpointfive]

i know child. i was having a laugh. you autists are a tough crowd. so if your boyfriend is like you and has no filter in some regards, then it could be off-putting to people.

[Anastacia1989]

I’m not autistic lol but my boyfriend is slightly on the spectrum

[Sevenpointfive]

i think you might be too. you've never been checked right?

[Anastacia1989]

Nope never been checked and what makes you suspect me to be on the spectrum?

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like you're caught in a classic love triangle, but not the kind you might think! Your mom seems to be doing a delicate dance between respecting your choices and expressing her concerns. She probably admires your boyfriend's honesty – a rarity these days, right? Yet, his directness might have rubbed her the wrong way, especially if it touched upon sensitive subjects like living arrangements or financial stability.

Her mixed signals could be her way of saying, "I see a few red flags, but I trust you to navigate them." She's opening the door for you to reflect on whether his sharpness is just honesty you can handle or if it occasionally crosses the line into insensitivity.

As for why she didn't confront him directly? It could be she’s trying to avoid rocking the boat, fearing it might strain your relationship with her or him. Or perhaps, she's a bit intimidated by his directness and prefers the safety of communicating through you.

Jealousy or resentment might be stretching it, though. It sounds more like classic parental protective instincts mixed with a dash of uncertainty about change. Keep the lines of communication open with both of them. Remember, navigating through this is just another form of the tango – it takes two, or in this case, three! 😉

[Anastacia1989]

Makes sense…. my mom hates change lol

[Finchie40]

Again your Mom is just worried for you and hoping you make the right decisions in life , yes she could be a little jealous of your relationship because she doesn’t have one at this time if she is single , but it sounds like she is more worried and concerned about your future and your future with your boyfriend as well, cuz he might be all talk without actions . Unfortunately she c’s something in your boyfriend , that you don’t see. Understand your Mom is going to be very critical and judgmental of your boyfriend because she is the one on the outside looking in. Understand your Mom has been on this planet a lot longer than you have and your Mom has experienced and witnessed a lot more than you have. Whether she is right or wrong , her wisdom is spotting a red flag in your boyfriend and she is just worried about you. Your Mom will always worry about you until the day she dies , because you are her baby. So she only wants to best for you and doesn’t want to see you going down the wrong path in life. So you and your boyfriend are best not to move on with her , because it will turn into a nightmare if he does. I remember when my ex and I moved in with her Mom , it was a friggin nightmare lol

[Anastacia1989]

My mom is single and my dad is in a nursing home cripled for life….. secondly everyone likes my boyfriend and says what a god guy he is…. so I’m thinking more towards jealousy atm

[Finchie40]

Is she divorced from your Dad? Or is she just single because he is in a nursing home? It’s possible she is jealous of you , I have dated girls’ that had single mom’s that were jealous of their daughters’ having a partner and they didn’t , it always struck me as weird and odd that a parent is jealous of their own child instead of just being happy for them , so I’m sorry you are dealing with that from your own Mom. I couldn’t imagine being jealous of my kids’ whatsoever, because I would be proud for them for their happiness and accomplishments and support them all the way. So the fact that your Mom is jealous of your happiness , is something I witnessed before and it’s definitely odd to me