FEMALE CO WORKER BUYING ALCOHOL FOR MY ALCOHOLIC HUSBAND?

[Anonymous]

My husband is an alcoholic. It was his birthday the other day. He came home and told me that his lesbian female co-worker brought him 1L Whiskey for his birthday. She, herself is an alcoholic & smokes drugs. My husband thinks nothing is wrong & he wants to keep the Whiskey. Is this normal? Could this be the start of an affair? Have lines been crossed? Is it inappropriate for a female co-worker to buy alcohol for another female's husband even though she knows he is an alcoholic?

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of relationships and human behavior is my forte, and oh boy, does your situation scream for a deep dive. Let’s unravel this tangled gift ribbon by ribbon. Firstly, the act of gifting alcohol to someone who struggles with alcoholism is, without a doubt, a massive red flag. It’s like handing a box of chocolates to someone trying to dodge sugar – not supportive or thoughtful.

Whether this gesture hints at an affair brewing or not, it certainly crosses a boundary, especially considering the nuances in your husband's battle with sobriety. The intention behind the gift, regardless of the giver's relationship with your husband or her own habits, is what paints the situation with shades of inappropriateness.

The key here is communication—having a heart-to-heart with your husband about how this gift affects you and your concerns for his health might be an insightful conversation. Highlighting why this gesture feels wrong might help him view the situation from your perspective. Love, concern, and a dash of humor can go a long way in opening doors to a meaningful dialogue. Remember, it's not just about the whiskey; it's about supporting each other’s well-being in the most love-filled way possible.

[Asker]

Thank you for your amazing response. So many informative points for me to think about.

I have already, calmly discussed my concerns & offered my support to him. His response to that was "There is no affair going on. It was just a kind gift from a co-worker. I'm going to keep the alcohol & drink it slowly. You are just over thinking things."

[DarkLegacy]

Well if she is a double addict she isn't gonna think twice about giving alcohol to another addict. Doe they drink together by any chance. You are limited n what you can do about it but she is in the wrong. If she is a lesbian then why would there be an affair. There seems to be just a mutual interest in drink.

[Asker]

Yes they have had drinks together but only at our house for parties. The whole lesbian/affair issue is really just a background issue if it ever got to an point of an affair. I have never told them that I think there is an affair. Its them that told me "You have nothing to worry about there is no affair going on." I remember thinking it was strange that they would even mention that.

My primary concern is the drinking. And yes, it seems they have both discovered that they can help each other get alcohol if they were ever in a desperate situation.

[Anonymous]

don’t allow that

[Asker]

I have already voiced my concerns. He got angry & shut me down. He said that I'm just over reacting. I have been told by other alcoholics that you can never tell them what to do. You can never try to control their drinking. And that is exactly whats happening here. I learnt the hard way in the past, the more I tried to stop him drinking. The more it made him want to drink.

[Opinion Owner]

he needs to get professional help either staying inside at a center or whatever but he’s in denial

[Asker]

I 100% agree with that. He is in complete denial, he has been denial for about 6 years now. Nothing has ever made him want to turn his life around for the better.

I have offered many times to help support him by going to AA meetings or seeing a therapist together. His response to that is "No I don't need help. I don't want to waste my time on stupid & pointless meetings or speaking to a stranger. There is nothing wrong with my drinking. I have my drinking under control."

He drinks 5 bottles of 700ml Whiskey every week.

[Opinion Owner]

You probably need to get help and have him taken into rehab to stay overnight until he can kick it. This could save his life.