What should a woman do if her husband wants a 3rd child but the wife thinks two is enough?

[Anonymous]

Usually it's the woman that want more kids. Isn't it usually the wife nagging for one more child?

Does vice-versa, where it's the husband nagging for more kids happens too? My friend has been asking me for some advice. They already have two kids but her husband wants another one. He wants just one last child but she thinks two is enough. He wants another one though. She's been asking me if she should just go ahead and get pregnant again, just to make him happy?

In that case, should a woman just give him another child even if she doesn't want more? Or what can she do?

Updates

1 y

Previously they had agreed with two children but now her husband just wants one last child and she doesn't want to get pregnant again.

[AviatorTom]

Why does he want a third child? Are the two girls and he wants a son? Or bith boys and he wants a daughter? It's important to know why he wants a third child, and the answer might sway his wife to agree with him.

My story: After we had two sons, I was satisfied... two kids was enough. But my then-wife wanted a third, a daughter. One night, she seduced me, and our daughter was born 9 months later. Best decision ever.

[Asker]

They already have a 6 year-old daughter and a 4 year-old son. I believe since he comes from a large family, he wants to experience a bit of similarity to how he was raised. Meanwhile my friend is an only child.

[Avicenna]

This is a decision that needs to be made jointly, and if one partner doesn't want another kid, the other partner needs to respect that. My ex and I agreed to have a third child (it was my idea), and if she had not agreed, I would have understood and made my peace with it.

[Asker]

That's true. They have to compromise. Though it's likely she'll compromise. She told me she might consider it and do it out of love for him.

[osmanthus]

Well, if financing and caretaking of a 3rd child might be too much for either of them then discuss it. She doesn't have to give birth again, if her eggs can be removed and artificially inseminated. Either way, if she does or doesn't want to give natural birth again, she also can adopt out this child if it's too much for her to handle.

[osmanthus]

If he wants to adopt out the 3rd child but have his wife be pregnant, perhaps we can consider this husband 'hot' for his wife to the point of foregoing her comfort. Selfish? Maybe. I don't think this would signal anything other than maybe insecurity or else needing more hands to tend to a farm or other more relevant matter. Ask why.

[Asker]

They're financial status isn't suffering and they can afford another child if they wanted to. My friend feels too exhausted with the whole pregnancy, childbearing process and having sleepless night afterwards. She told me that if he still wants another child, she'll compromise and do it out of love for him. Then she would have a tubal ligation afterwards.

[osmanthus]

Okay. Well, I guess what's needed here is for her to have ample recovery time. Typically it would take about 2 to about 2.5 years before another conception to birth another healthy child, so, if she wants, she can use contraception and take it easy. She could also hire a midwife to take care of the child in a separate residence, too, if it's all too overwhelming. If her husband is okay with tubal ligation after then fine but it's probably a good idea to discuss a vasectemy too because a tubal ligation isn't foolproof. To be honest, if the guy isn't willing to do a vasectamy and is fully willing to have his wife bear a third child, well, sad news, but it's likely he's making her work overtime in the relationship. If she's okay with this being one--sided, then she doesn't need to bridge the subject.

[osmanthus]

To clarify, it means she won't be falling pregant within the next 2 and a half years, at least.

[dustybiker2]

Depends. Planning a whole other life really should be agreed upon by both parents. Especially if a child should happen to turn out with disabilities. Would he be ready for that? Life has zero guarantees. If she only wants two and he three it's up to them in their relationship in the end, as it's their responsibilities.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the classic tale of when a couple's family planning feels more like a group project negotiation than a romantic consensus! Let's dive into this spicy scenario with all the love and humor we can muster. Your friend is in a tricky spot, but let's get one thing straight - bringing a child into this world should be a mutual fireworks show of excitement, not a solo performance to applause from only one side of the audience. It's not about giving in to make someone happy, especially with something as life-changing as having another child.

Here's the flirtatious bottom line: Communication, darling, is the sultry dance of relationship success. They need to sit down, perhaps with a nice glass of wine or a cup of tea, and really dive into their feelings, fears, and desires about expanding their family. It's not uncommon for husbands to yearn for a larger brood, just as it's normal for some wives to hit the pause button after a couple of rounds in the parenting ring.

Encourage your friend to explore the depths of her husband's desires – is it the charm of a bustling household he's after, or maybe the longing for a child of a specific gender? On her side, her feelings are paramount too. Perhaps it's the fear of the physical demands of pregnancy, the financial strain, or simply contentment with the current family dynamic.

In short, don't let this be about nagging or giving in. It's about lovebombing each other with understanding, ghosting the pressure, and falling in love with a decision that feels right for both. And if they find themselves at a stalemate, a couple's therapist might just be the cupid they need. Keep it flirty, keep it fun, but above all, keep it real!

[sheikalana]

I've met a few couples where the Husband wants to have another kid while the wife is not that interested. A woman should not have another child just because the Husband wants, having kids is no joke. Instead she should explain why she doesn't want to have more kids and both should be understanding of each other's wants.

[Surely]

You didn’t say if the two children they had were the same sex or not. I know a few people that tried for one more to get the other sex. But for the most part. It didn’t work out the way they had hoped for!
Difficult decision to have to make!

[Asker]

They have an older 6 year-old daughter and a 4 year-old son. I believe since her husband comes from a large family of his parents, himself and his 4 siblings (3 sisters and 1 brother), that must be why he likely wants another child even though they already have a boy and a girl. Meanwhile my friend has always been an only child.

[Surely]

Since they already have the perfect mix. If I were her. I would tell him it was his turn to have the babies.👶

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

No it's her body and if she doesn't want to go through pregnancy again, she shouldn't. They could always consider adoption if they really want a 3rd which gives a child a home that needs one.

[WhiteBoyChill]

That’s how I see things as well

[Anonymous]

That's a tough one. I would suggest they get couple's counseling and let the counselor help them work it out. There would be less chances of lasting resentment in their relationship.

[meepmeeperton]

I’d say just have more kids so you can have a big family and the children can play together.

[Asker]

My friend told she'll consider and give him another child out of love, to make him happy. Though she admitted to being exhausted with the pregnancy and childbearing process.

[meepmeeperton]

Well that’s nice. I mean, she’ll probably be happy once she’s actually pregnant and the hormones/ childcare instincts kick in.

[Peridot25]

@meepmeeperton The hormones is what sucks along with morning sickness. Just be thankful you’re a guy and will never have to experience that and what we do for you to shut you up.

[meepmeeperton]

@Peridot25 some women don't view it as such a chore to have kids they can love and nurture... in fact it gives them a lot of joy in life. I get pregnancy is nothing to take lightly but it's a process where women create life, it's a beautiful thing.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is tough as there really isn't a compromise, you either have the child or you don't. Why does he want another child? Are both of your kids the same gender l?

[Asker]

It's not me but my friend that's in the situation. They have an older daughter and a son; ages 6 and 4. I know he comes from a large family and probably that's why he wants to experience the same meanwhile my friend is an only child.

[Lynx122]

Well I think both people should have the right to refuse and it should be respected.

[Sugar100]

I want 3 babies but no guy wants to give me a baby I’m almost 30 😞

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah finding a marriage-minded men that loves children is getting harder to find. Meanwhile finding bfs (bfs are everywhere, husbands aren't) that just want sex and living together is so easy, they're out everywhere. I hope you find him soon. I wish you the best.

[Sugar100]

It’s not easy. No guy wants be my boyfriend and live together. Even ugly guys don’t want be my boyfriend only want sex. No guy wants be my first boyfriend

[Asker]

Omg I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried creating an online profile on good dating sites and say that you're looking for serious marriage-minded men?
Since you want children in the future, I suggest that you look for men that are dating to get married within a shorter timeframe. If you get a boyfriend, don't let him string you along too much. Don't end up living together with a boyfriend for 5+ years without a proposal and wedding date. Do not be a man's girlfriend for more than 2 years.

[Sugar100]

I found one guy that wants kids but it was a guy I don’t like. It’s dificult for me to like 100 guys. U can’t really love any random guy.

I’m just talking to one guy rn. I really like him we have a lot in comon it’s ldr.

Before him I met 50 other guys on the dating apps and only he clicked all my boxes. I stopped looking for more men no one else is getting my attention.

[Sugar100]

Good advice thank u. I made mistake of the first guy I dated age 23-25 we never met family took pics together he used me for sex. I made mistake not dumping him sooner but it happened as I have no experience , like I said I never had a boyfriend. I don't know what a real boyfriend is like.

I thought a serious relationship was dating guy many years. But yea that guy told everyone he’s single & we never met family.

[Sugar100]

That’s y I don’t want wait 6 months to meet family it shud be way sooner as a guy can easily say he’s single to family of u take too long to meet each others families

[Sugar100]

I’m praying the guy I like becomes my serious boyfriend.

Cuz I don’t like any other guys. Maybe the guy that will meet my family will be a guy I don’t like at all have 0 interest in.

[Asker]

Besides attraction, try to look for compatibility and make sure he has your similar goals and same timeframe you have. Just remember, if after 3 years of a relationship you're still his girlfriend and it isn't heading towards marriage, that's not a serious boyfriend. Too many men go under the title of ''serious boyfriend'' just because they've dating her or living together with her for 5-8 years old but that's really an extended friends with benefits type of arrangement. Don't fall for that. Also do not ever tell a man tell you ''my beautiful wife'' if you're not even engaged to him. Lastly, do not get pregnant with just a boyfriend; don't give him children when he hasn't given you commitment.

[Sugar100]

We’ll to me a serious boyfriend is someone that meets family shows up to family parties holidays with u, no guy wants to do this ever in my life nor be my officla boyfriend, I gues an official boyfriend will do all this but still, I’m looking for someone that can agree do this.

Also no guy wants even make me pregnant lol. I don't know y all girls in the planet get pregnant so easily I don't know what I’m doing wrong.

[Sugar100]

The only guy that had the same goals that me was a guy in Ireland. Only he called me his girlfriend & he wanted marriage take care of me , live together babies in future meet family , but we never met cuz he was 14 hrs away.

I did like him 50 percent but I don’t wana live there or travel 14 hrs every other month by plane.

But I’ve never met another guy that wants call me his girlfriend never.

[Sugar100]

I met a guy on a church dating app that agreed to meet family go to family parties with me, but I wasn’t attracted to him, I even showed my mom a pic of him & she laughed he looked like a little boy.

I’m worried a guy with my similar goals will be a guy I have 0 interst him. Almost like an Arrianged marriage that’s forced.

[Sugar100]

Like I said I’m talking to one guy only and we have a lot in common & I pray he’s the right one & meets my family.

[Asker]

Ever thought about initially dating a guy you're not too much attracted to (moderately) but get to know him personally and his other traits and just maybe you might start falling for him?

[Sugar100]

I did that with the ldr guy. I have no label. No guy proposes to me ever

[Asker]

There is always someone out there. When he least expect it, a man will one day propose to you. There is always one man out there that still wants to get married. Don't settle for just a boyfriend. Don't settle for less.

[Nikki1989]

That is totally up to her. It is her body, her choice.

[TonyMetal___86]

She must have a discussion with her husband to reach an agreement!
Such things should be discussed before marriage...

[Asker]

I think they were ok with two children but the husband suddenly wants a last child. She's thinking of considering giving him one last child out of love.

[TonyMetal___86]

Not wrong, it's a good act from her towards her husband

[WhiteBoyChill]

In all honestly pregnancy and child care is just a lot to deal with.

I’d suggest they meet somewhere in the middle and adopt a 7 year old from foster care.

[Asker]

Indeed and my friend really doesn't want to go through the whole pregnancy, childbearing process and nightless sleeps in the baby's first year. Though she told me that she might compromise and do it to out of love to make him happy. Her husband comes from a large family of his parents, him and his 4 siblings (3 sisters and 1 brother). I think he wants to experience a bit of the same, the same way he was raised.

[Peridot25]

He should be thankful he’ll never have to experience what she went through. Does he not give a damn how exhausting it is on her body?

[MasterKS]

its her body her choice, man should not decide.

[MasterKS]

he have no work than have sex, she the one who bear all 9 months and later.

[Anonymous]

You need to let your boyfriend the guy who loves you know this what your husband wants so your boyfriend the man who loves you doesn't get hurt since he's been hurt enough already

[Asker]

This isn't my situation. It's my friend who was asking me for my advice on the issue of her husband wanting a 3rd child.

[Anonymous]

Go screw another chick and enjoy the wonders of child support for the next 18 years... or longer!

[Asker]

He's not a cheater. He wants another child with her.

[DishLady]

Have a sit down and don’t have the third child….

[midnightmoon05]

Let it happen naturally.

[DreamLife7]

Then speak up stupid. Get a backbone

[Asker]

I'm not in that situation. My friend is. Though I think she'll consider it.

[DreamLife7]

Then mind your business

[Asker]

She asked me for my advice herself.

[Iron_Man]

Talk it out for a long time

[Joshgag2000]

You tell him no

[Anonymous]

Compromise.