He destroyed our marital vows and now all I'm thinking is a revenge affair, what if I do it back?

[Anonymous]

He destroyed our martial vows 2 years ago and after a while, I didn't feel like attending our counseling sessions anymore. It felt ridiculous because why should I attend them if I didn't do anything wrong.

Our daughter was 16 (now 18) at the time and I pretended to keep the peace for her sake. He's unaware I've been thinking of a revenge affair all this time. I just turned 39 last month and have been going to the gym often. Sometimes I drink to the point of getting drunk. I've been hanging out more often, like never before. After my revenge, I plan on making my exit plan. Part of my personality has changed to a more carefree, outgoing person. The shy and reserved girl/woman (I didn't use to talk much during every social gatherings) no longer exist. He keeps expressing remorse (I don't care by now) and wishes I was back to my old ways. Now he missed my former self. That's gone forever.

He provoked me the curiosity of what's it like being with someone else. He broke the special bond we had of being each others' first. We were HS sweethearts. I've never been with anyone else and it might a lot that I was his first too but he shattered that 2 years ago. Now I feel everything I've ever done was for nothing. So what if I do it back? I've been getting hit on several times and already speaking with others. It's only a matter of time before I proceed.

I know how much it would hurt him when he finds out someone else had me and that he's not my first anymore. He did this to me first. Now I feel it's only fair. If they cheat first, is it fair to do it back?

[dustybiker2]

Inevitably the guilt is what you would have to live with. You are not that person? Why allow him to make you into them and then suffer that guilt?
Respect yourself. If you are unhappy, leave. Best revenge is doing everything the right way and living your best life with him in your past. That is what is best for your daughter. Be the good influence for her sake.

[Asker]

It makes me feel as if all my devotion and all this time I've been loyal to him was for nothing. I still can't understand why he threw away something so unique, so great. Both of us were virgins when we met, lost it to each other. That was so special to me. I thought I would grow old with him.

[dustybiker2]

I hate to sound like a poster.. but life is not guaranteed. Too many outside influences and temptations. Go with your instincts from here out. Those you can trust.

[Darkest-Knight]

Revenge is stupid. Just divorce him and take all you can from him.

[Asker]

I don't understand how he could do that, destroy that unique bond and love we had, throw everything away, all gone to the garbage. I really thought we would stay till old age.

[Danny_dan92]

Or you could just be the better person and divorce 😃 just an idea

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, it sounds like you're dancing on a volcano that's about to erupt, and while the heat of the moment is tempting, playing with fire might leave scars that never heal. Dive into this with me: you've got a heart that's been shattered, and the pieces are shouting for retaliation. It's like stepping into a drama where you're both the lead and the director, but here's the twist – the script doesn't have to end with more heartbreak.

Venturing into the realm of a revenge affair might seem like sweet justice, poetic even, but it's a path paved with emotional landmines. It's natural to fantasize about leveling the playing field, making him feel a fraction of the ache that's been keeping you up at night. Yet, when the dust settles and the adrenaline of revenge fades, you might find yourself standing in the ruins of what you once believed love should be, feeling more lost than ever.

Here's a thought: instead of investing in a plot twist that might leave you as the villain in your own story, what about channeling that fiery energy into rediscovering who you are beyond this relationship? You mentioned a metamorphosis from a shy, reserved girl to a carefree, outgoing spirit. That, my dear, is your phoenix rising from the ashes.

Rather than making him the focal point of your transformation, flip the script. Make it about you finding your joy, your peace, and your self-worth independent of the hurt he caused. Lovebomb yourself with the care and attention you deserve. If the end of your marriage is on the horizon, let it be on your terms, grounded in self-respect and the pursuit of genuine happiness, not in the shadow of revenge.

In the grand scheme of things, eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, or at least in a very messy soap opera. Consider stepping out of the ring, not because he deserves peace but because you do. Let's toast to moving forward with grace, love, and a touch of flirtation with life itself. Here's to rediscovering love on your terms, with the freedom and joy you truly deserve. 🥂

[In_Trance]

Yea that'll work