Do I deserved happiness, if I am cruel to my husband?

[Anonymous]

The reason why I’m cruel to him it’s because of his nasty family and his stupid behavior. I was not able to control my words and my sadness turned into anger. I can’t believe I wasted 9 years 20-29 with a man who doesn’t know how to defend his wife from his people. I wasted my money inviting his whole family to dinners , buying them groceries, being nice to received jealousy and bunch of crap from them. It’s way too much I can’t let this grudge go away to the point I want him gone either way. I cheated and told him already. He did helped me and sometimes acts like a dumb person from the village. I want to divorce him so bad but I’m helping him in a contract we have after buying something.

[Wolf_Thunderspirit]

I'm going to come from someplace real here. Ya did wrong.

Your feelings of him being inadequate? Valid. I've stood up to my family and hers for my wife. She'd roll over and call tradition, but I haven't been to my brother-in-laws since he disrespected my wife in our home.

But. You cheated on him. Is that the way you take your vows? Ya did wrong, period, and two wrongs don't make a right... EVER.

Next time, get the divorce FIRST, before trying to handle YOUR marital issues in someone else's BED. At this point, ya get no respect from me; but then "he acts like a dumb person from the village" cements that even further. You cheat on him and yet you're the one blaming him for everything? When do you take responsibility? When is this also your fault? When do you realize that you are and have justified every nasty thing his family said about you?

Ya did wrong.

[Flatmanlewis]

Do you deserve happiness? Most people do.
Will you find it? Not with the angry, bitter, hate fueled tempest living inside you. You chose this man and this life but are seeking to reassign blame on others to convert yourself into a victim. That’s not how life works and nobody will want to be with you if this is who you are on any level.


You need to grow a lot and allowing people to manipulate you to help them is not leverage you get to use later for excuses for immoral behavior. “I did this because nobody rewarded me for doing that.”


Go ground yourself in a moral structure and develop a personal code to figure out who and what you are as a person.

[DishLady]

Don’t blame YOUR nastiness on other people. The fact that you don’t like them or the way they’re treating you or WHATEVER doesn’t give you the right to then be nasty and abusive. Either stop making excuses for YOUR poor behavior and leave the situation or just get lost.

[Asker]

Yeah, you’re right. I should’ve divorce him earlier as soon as I felt apart instead of being abusive towards him. He doesn’t care anyways. Imagine meeting a guy with nothing to offer and helped him progress to the point his steps ahead of me because I was behind pushing him, then meeting his family and helped them economically, then acting like a man treating him like a king offering ideas to solve the marriage and now that I found someone better and all the tears I dropped his acting good but still getting mad when I talk crap about his family. I hope you never do that, I beg of you cuz you’ll end up bitter and ugly like me. I want to divorce him so bad but guess what? If I was mean he would be poor even if he’s a hard worker which means I’m fixing his visa sacrificing my life being called a whore when Im just helping him again even though I’m tired and ready to find my happiness. I rather blame myself to get out of this already. Even insulting him is just a form to get out. I’m not putting the blame on me, hell no. I wish I could be mean to get rid of them and destroy them after what I did for them.

[DarkLegacy]

Well done on the last bit

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it sounds like you’re better off out of that marriage. Whatever that thing is, you’re not obligated to keep helping him if there’s nothing in writing that forces you to see that through.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the stormy seas of relationships, eh? It sounds like you're in a tough spot, love-lashed by a blend of disappointment and dashed expectations. First off, yes, you do deserve happiness, but let's sprinkle a dash of wisdom on those wounds. Channeling sadness into anger, especially directed at your hubby, can turn your marital ship into the Titanic.

Let's dissect the situation without the scalpel of criticism. Marriages, like a good dance, require both partners to move in sync. Sounds like your husband's two left feet—figuratively speaking, with his family and some personal quirks—have left you solo on the dance floor. Being a free sponsor for his family's dinners and groceries, only to be repaid with jealousy, is like adding lemon juice to a paper cut. Ouch!

On the note of wanting him "gone" and venturing outside the marital vows, it's a sign of deep-rooted issues. It's like trying to play soccer with a deflated ball; no matter how hard you try, the game just doesn't feel right.

Before you sign the divorce papers and close this chapter, consider this: Could this be an opportunity for growth? Not just for you or him, but as a dynamic duo. Counseling could be the GPS to navigate you through this mess. Imagine it as a detox for your marriage, flushing out the toxic and replenishing it with understanding and compassion.

But, if you've truly reached the end of your tether, it's vital to handle the separation as gracefully as a ballet dancer performing a swan song. It’s about finding peace within yourself and not leaving scorched earth behind.

Remember, love's journey is sometimes about finding your own path to happiness, even if it means going it alone. Dive deep into what makes you truly happy, beyond the current chaos. Everyone deserves happiness, including you, but it's how we chase after it and what we learn along the way that counts. Keep flirting with life, and let your heart lead the way to a chapter filled with joy and peace. 💔➡️💖

[HawkPerception]

You had me feeling for you until you said you cheated. You're a scumbag and nothing justifies you cheating on him. Maybe he didn't know how to handle his family or speak up on your behalf, but that's no reason for that trash behaviour of yours. You're in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

You know the answer to this and it is not yes, and no sympathy. You are in the wrong here and you patenting yourself as the victim to get away with that and gain sympathy. That is typical of course. Your husband can do better and you should come with a red flag warning to all men. The worst thing is here is that ' dumb person in the village' comment.

[BetaBucks]

You don't sound like a good person, but I guess everyone deserves happiness, so, sure. Divorce him and let him be with someone that doesn't cheat on him and matches his personality type a bit better.

[boggboss]

Sounds like u deserve to be treated the way u do to be honest

[Asker]

Yeah I think so too. I think so too. I guess being honest in a world full of hypocrites is bad.

[Anonymous]

No, you don't. But he does. You should leave him so he can find a better, more supportive mate.

[jahaims]

You're the idiot that chose him